A deep sigh escapes me as I open my eyes and contemplate the deepening shadows in the courtyard. The sun is starting to fade. The promise of night looms, and with it comes a sense of foreboding.
I know that Corvan wants to depart at first darkness; he plans to steal into the imperial palace under the cover of night. He said it so easily, as if stealing into the place unnoticed is as easy as taking a stroll in the woods.
One does not simply infiltrate into the emperor’s inner sanctum, but apparently, Corvan can.
“I grew up there. There isn’t a single nook or cranny that I don’t know like the back of my hand.”
And just like that, I feel his maddening presence again, as if merely thinking about him has summoned him.
I didn’t hear him—I never do.
But his approach was perfect—a whisper of warmth across the back of my neck; his hand, gently resting on my waist. And he gives me time to register his presence.
“I don’t mind being spoiled,” I say at last, drinking in his familiar, comforting scent, “as long as you promise to let me shoulder some of your burden now and then.”
Warm lips press against the back of my neck, planting soft kisses. I curl my fingers over his, my thumb grazing his rough, callused palms.
Deep in his throat, he makes a low, soft sound—like a growl, or a purr of a contented predator. “What if I don’t wish you to?”
A knowing smile curves my lips. I knew he would be like this; hard and stubborn and unyielding. He isn’t used to letting anyone take care of what he sees as his responsibilities. Except for Kaithar, maybe. “You can’t have it both ways, Corvan. If you want to take me, then you have to take all that comes with me.” I lean into his solid form, basking in his warmth; his strength. It feels as if nothing can shake this man. “Have you ever really had anything you truly wanted in this life?”
“Huh. That’s a strange question to ask a Duthriss like me, don’t you think?”
I turn my head and look up, meeting his gaze, which is soft and slightly bemused. “You told me you were destined to take your father’s throne. That you never had any choice in the matter. And everything you do is out of service or duty. So tell me, what do you want? Not Archduke Duthriss, lord and protector of Tyron. I want to know what you want, Corvan.”
He gently caresses my jaw with his leather-encased thumb, sending a thrill through me. “Astute as ever, my love. Believe it or not, there are things I’ve learned to enjoy in this life. My books. Swords. Traveling to distant lands in the deep of night. The cold and silence of an early winter morning—which I hadn’t been able to fully appreciate for so long until I met you, because the sun was forbidden to me. But you are right, Finley. I’ve lived most of my life according to the will of another, and I’ve grown damn sick and tired of it. Hence why I left the capital and consolidated my power here. And months ago, if you were to ask me the same question, I would say there were only a few simple pleasures that could give me a shadow of the feeling people call happiness. And now?” He leans in and kisses me softly, his lips meeting mine, making my toes curl in the best of ways. “Now, I know what it’s like to see the face of the divine before me. I know what it’s like to touch her and taste her. And nothing in this existence is more coveted by me than you, Finley. Next to you, all my earthly desires become trivial.”
My breath catches. I falter. Can I really go through with this? Wouldn’t it be easier to just let all-powerful, hyper-capable Corvan have his way and do whatever he wants with me? Can’t I just drown in his perfection?
No.
I can’t do that. I would never forgive myself.
I turn around and face him. I look up into his crimson eyes, which burn so bright-and-dark in the wan light of the setting sun. “I can’t stand back and let the world consume you, Corvan. I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like to be raised as you’ve been, nor can I comprehend the horrors you must’ve faced as you fought an old man’s war up in the mountains. But I have keen eyes and a quick mind and I can think for myself. And I learn fast. Whatever you have to deal with, I can help you shoulder that burden.” I take his hands; so big and rough and powerful. So pale against my own skin. He’s the night to my day. And he’s completely entranced by me. “Let me serve you,” I entreat him, surprised by the intensity in my own voice. “Just like you serve everyone else.”
Corvan blinks. His eyes widen ever so slightly. I relish his reaction. It’s so rare to see him caught off-guard like this. “It isn’t a problem, Finley. This is what I do. I’m used to it. And there’s no reason why I can’t serve you.”
“Well, that’s a given, but you can’t do everything on your own.” I reach up and touch his face, caressing his jaw. He’s filled with dark tension and quiet anticipation. He’s holding onto things. Secrets of the empire. Unknowns of his own existence. Responsibility for the whole damned empire. How can a single person carry all of that? “I’m here now, and as you said, I’m going to be powerful. I’m determined not to let this ability of mine go to waste. So you have no choice but to humor me, my lord.”
His nostrils flare ever so slightly. His eyes are glowing again. My body fills with desire as he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me toward him. “Fine. I’ll humor you. And… thank you. I will take you up on your offer to serve, as long as I can serve you however I please. And as long as you understand that you aren’t leaving my side until I can be certain that I’ve destroyed everything that’s a threat to you. And until I’m convinced that you can hold your own against extraordinary enemies.”
“That I won’t dispute.” In the face of his fierceness, I just smile. He’s too delectable.
“Good.” His expression softens a fraction. “Finley, when we reach the palace, I’m going to go straight to my father. I suspect they’ll be expecting me. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing is some sort of attempt at a trap. But it means that I might have to do some bad things.”
“I know. What’s at stake. What you’re capable of. And I won’t hold you back.”
His lips twist into a bittersweet smile that makes my heart ache. “Oh, my love. But sometimes, you have to. Because you’re the only one that can.”
47
CORVAN
The last thing I do before we leave for Lukiria is visit Kaithar.
The sun has disappeared below the wintry skyline, granting me the welcome respite of darkness.
Finley comes with me—she insisted, and who am I to deny her? It’s just as well, for her quiet presence beside me is a salve for my cold anger. She’s the only one that can temper my discontent.