“We’re in your mother’s house,” Daniel said, and James huffed. James was ready to chuck that out the window. His desire had grown to the point where he needed Daniel. His taste, the feel of his soft skin, the flex of his muscles under his hand, and the way Daniel breathed deeply and his hands quivered all told him Daniel felt the same way. His parents were likely long asleep, James was about to explode, and... “We can’t...” Daniel added.
James paused, closing his eyes, trying to put the genie back into the bottle before it could completely escape. “Daniel... I...”
Daniel hugged him close, head against his shoulder. “I know, but we can’t. Your mom and dad are on the other side of that damned wall.” He put his hands against James’s chest, their gazes locking in the near darkness. “I’m sorry.”
James slowly rolled off Daniel, staring up at the ceiling, his blood racing in his ears. “No, it’s the right thing to do.” He hated actually saying the words, and he hated doing the right thing.
Daniel shifted in the bed next to him. “Maybe I should grab a pillow and blanket and sleep on the floor.” He pushed back the covers.
James kept the frustration out of his voice as best he could. “Of course not.” He rolled over. “I’m not going to jump you in your sleep or something.” James placed his hand on Daniel’s shoulder, stilling them both while reestablishing the connection. He didn’t want Daniel to leave.
Daniel lay back down, both of them staring up at the ceiling, and then he began to laugh. “Can you imagine how many of your mother’s commandments we almost broke?”
James rolled his eyes. “You really think this is funny?”
Daniel began to cough. “Of course it is. You need to keep your fly zipped and yourself pure as the driven snow for marriage.” He snickered again. “Though your mom and dad already know you’ve blown that little commandment big-time.”
James snickered. “Yeah, well, it’s the commandments that aren’t on the list that I’m worried about.” He leaned close. “You know the ones.”
Daniel settled down. “You mean the eleventh one, though shalt not be gay, and number twelve, though shall not take a drag queen to your sister’s wedding?”
“Exactly.” James was well aware of those particular unwritten rules. “Those two pretty much trump the other ten.” He hated thinking about them at all. “Just a few more days and then we can go home and go back to our real lives.” It was easy to say that, but James wasn’t sure what the hell he wanted any longer. Yeah, he’d go back to Chicago, but his family would know no more about his life and the person he really was than they did now. He and Daniella would break up a short while later, and everything would be the same. It was what he wanted—what he’d said he wanted all along. But what he didn’t understand was why that left him completely empty.
That notion alone was enough to cool his remaining ardor, and James closed his eyes. It was time to just go to sleep.
* * *
“Oh god,” Holly groaned at the kitchen table the following morning, holding her head as James came in search of coffee. “Why do you look like shit?” she whispered and then groaned. “I know why I look terrible. Didn’t you sleep?”
“I did a little.”
“But you didn’t drink much. I remember you driving me home...barely. Who put me in bed?”
James chuckled.
“Oh shit.”
“Yup. Mom took pity on you.” He smiled. “So get ready to pay for it. You know how she is.” James handed her a mug of coffee and poured one for himself just as his mother tooled into the kitchen, pulling out pans to make breakfast.
“Jesus, Mom,” Holly groaned.
“Don’t you dare talk like that, and I’m not the one who drank so much she had to be put to bed by her mother. What were you thinking?” She banged the pan on the stove, and Holly groaned.
“Then be nice. I’m trying to get my head to stop pounding and you aren’t helping. I have to be on for the rehearsal dinner.”
“And you and Howard have your dance session in two hours,” James reminded her. “Daniella and I promised to go with you.” He sipped the coffee. “Daniella is trying to finish up your dress.” He met her gaze. “You need to get yourself together, because things aren’t going to stop.” Yeah, he was grumpy and short with her, but he hadn’t slept well, and he was still at odds over Daniel and last night. “I’m going to check how preparations are coming.” He patted Holly on the shoulder, silently apologizing. Then he got another mug and headed back to the bedroom.
Daniel was at the sewing machine, still in the pink pajamas, working feverishly. “I’m almost done.” James gave him the mug, and Daniel stopped long enough to take a couple of sips before returning to work. “Go get cleaned up, and I’ll take my turn when you’re done.” Daniel didn’t look up from the machine.
James shaved and showered, returning to the bedroom, where Daniel had made the bed and laid the dress on it. “Is it done?”
“Yes. I need to hang it up and steam it. Holly can try it on once we get back from the dance session.” He yawned. “Look, James, I need to talk to you about last night. I got carried away, and I think you did too.” He sighed and stepped back. “We need to keep this professional. I’m here to do a job, and we need to keep our feelings out of it. Otherwise we aren’t going to make it through this. Like you said, in a few days we’ll go home and return to our own lives. It’s best if we don’t get things all tangled up before that happens.” Daniel gathered his clothes and makeup case, heading quickly across the hall like he needed to escape.
James sat on the edge of the bed, smarting from the way Daniel had used his own words against him. Maybe he was right and the two of them had nearly made a mistake last night. When he listened to his head, he knew he and Daniel should simply stick with their professional arrangement and keep their hands to themselves. But as he sat and stewed on it, he grew angry and more determined. No one had ever captured his attention the way Daniel did, and it didn’t matter if he was dressed as a man, as he had been on the flight and in the airport, or as a woman, as he had been the last few days. The clothes didn’t make the person—it was who was in them, and James only saw Daniel, no matter what he was wearing.
The idea rather shocked him in some ways. James had always seen himself as a man’s man. Sure, he liked other men, but he’d always gone for manly men, and Daniel certainly didn’t have that appearance. James liked guys who were strong, sure of themselves, and knew what they wanted. Over the last few days, however, he’d learned that his views of people and what made someone strong and confident had changed. Daniel had those characteristics in spades. James hadn’t anticipated that...and it pissed him off. He was learning things about himself that weren’t pretty, and Daniel was stepping away because of it.
“Aren’t you going to get ready?” Daniel asked as he returned dressed and with his makeup in place.
James jumped to his feet, closed the door, then folded his arms over his chest. “You had your say, and now I want to have mine. If you want to keep things between us professional, then there’s nothing I can do. That’s your decision.”