“That’s because the barn is my very favorite place in the whole world, Grandpa,” Evelyn told him, perfectly nonchalant.
The old man’s face lit in staggering joy, and his eyes moved between Paisley and the child, cherishing every moment he had with them.
Paisley was actually his granddaughter, and he and his wife had raised her from when she was little. Paisley and Caleb had moved him here into the house so he could be near them. So he wouldn’t be alone.
Caleb sauntered in last, carrying Kayden.
“Mommy! I see the horsey!” Kayden pointed his little finger toward the wall like I could see into the barn.
I swallowed the misery down and forced myself to smile at the treasure that was my son.
“You saw the horses? That is amazing.”
Caleb set him onto his feet, and he went bouncing up to Evelyn’s side. “I ride horsey, my Evie?” He patted his chest, and she giggled like mad as she reached out to take his hand.
“Not right now. We have to eat lunch, and then maybe we can again.”
“How about Grandpa makes us some sandwiches, and then we’ll go back out for a bit?” Paisley’s grandfather suggested.
“Yes!” Evelyn shouted.
“Yes!” Kayden copied her, dancing on his feet when it made her laugh.
“These two,” Caleb rumbled as he came deeper into the room, easing our way. Worry was written in his expression as he approached. He came up behind Paisley’s chair and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head, but it was me he was looking at.
Concern weighed heavy in his eyes. He’d told me last night that he had known Ryder was involved in something just because he’d been involved in enough corruption in his own life that he knew when something shady was going down.
But he had no idea how bad it was. That Ryder was in that much trouble.
Ryder had kept it from everyone who was important to him. Except for when he’d finally hit a breaking point and had gone to Ezra.
Another wave of alarm went off.
Caleb touched my arm. “We’re here for you, Dakota. Both you and your son. And I know I don’t have the details or know exactly what is going on, but the one thing I know, for certain and without fail, is my cousin loves you, and he would do absolutely anything for you.”
But that was the problem, wasn’t it?
What he’d done for me, and the lies he’d told to cover it.
“Do you think we should just postpone the party?” Paisley asked as she followed me to the door. She chewed at her nail in contemplation, at war with how to proceed.
I shrugged even though I was in the middle of that war, too.
A war that conflicted and raged, so many questions at odds with each other I didn’t know how I was even standing beneath the barrage of bombs.
I’d spent the entire day yesterday crying, both numb and feeling too much, and I knew I had to at least get up and do something with myself today. I couldn’t let it fester.
“I don’t know,” I told her. “I think we just…continue to plan it and then you can make the decision how you want to proceed based on what happens.”
Based on what happens.
I nearly choked over a sob.
I had no idea what any of this would mean.
What was going to happen to Ryder.
What danger he was in both with whoever he was trying to get away from and legally.
I couldn’t just call up Ezra and ask what kind of deal had been made, and I’d fled from Ryder’s house long before any of those questions had arisen.
Now they came at me perpetually.
Relentlessly.
“Are you sure you want to deal with it?”
“I honestly need something to do to take my mind off things.”
The pain and the torment that continually wound through me. Because I missed him, so much, and it was brutal not to answer the texts that he continually sent.
Begging me to talk to him.
To listen.
But I’d listened for so long, and now I didn’t know if I could ever believe what he had to say again.
“Only if you’re positive.”
“I am. And besides, Caleb deserves his day,” I promised her.
She swallowed hard. “And you’re sure you don’t want to stay here for a couple more days?”
I flinched, hating the idea of being alone, but I still had a dream to follow. A restaurant to run. The life I’d built for Kayden. I couldn’t allow this to destroy any of that, even though the clot of guilt inside me was so big I was sure it was obstructing the flow of blood.
But I would figure out something.
How to make this right.
How to pay restitution for a sin that had been made on my part.
“I need to be at the café by six in the morning. I think it’s best if I go home.”
Home.
The thought of it juddered through me. I’d only been staying with Ryder for a short time, but his house had come to feel that way. Like it was where we belonged.
Those walls safety and love.
“Okay, but if you need anything at all, I want you to call me. Caleb meant what he said. You and Kayden always have a place here.”
“I know. Thank you so much for being there for me.”
Paisley wrapped me in her arms. “Um, hello, you’re my Doodle-Boo. You think I wouldn’t be?”
A wave of appreciation billowed. “I know, and I’m so grateful for that.”
She stepped back, but she continued to hold me by the outside of the arms. “Call me tonight before you go to sleep, okay? I’m going to be worried about you.”
“I will. But you don’t have to worry. I’m going to be okay.”
“I know you are, but that doesn’t mean you’re not in pain right now, and I’d do anything to take that away.”
“Which is why I love you so much.” I forced a smile.
“What’s not to love?” She let the razzing wind into her voice, and I chuckled through the waves of sorrow as I opened the door to step out into the late afternoon light. Warmth saturated the air, the fading summer still holding on, though the color of the leaves on the trees had begun to change.
Kayden was with Evelyn on the lawn that fronted the house. He squealed as his little feet padded the ground, and she chased him, her giggles riding free as they played.
The second Kayden saw me, he changed course and ran my direction. “Mommy, help me! Evie is a horsey monster!”
I scooped him up and hugged him close. “Oh, no, a horsey monster? I’ll protect you.”
Evelyn cracked up, and she used both her hands to push the thick locks of her hair out of her face. “I’m not even really a monster, Auntie Dakota. Did you know that?”
I ran my hand over the top of her head. “Are you sure?” I teased.
“If I was really a horse, I’d be a nice horse, like Mazzy.”
Affection rippled, and I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “You are the sweetest, Evie. We’ll see you soon. Thank you for helping to take care of Kayden while we were here.”
“I really liked it and I can be a babysitter and I don’t even need any money.”
“Well, that’s an offer that’s too hard to pass up,” I told her, glancing at Paisley who watched her with a crush of devotion.
They all walked us to our car, hovering as I strapped in Kayden, and Paisley hugged me again once he was safely buckled. “If you need me, I’ll come running,” she said as I sat in the driver’s seat.
I pushed the button to start it. “I know.”
She nodded, shut my door, and took Evelyn’s hand. I put the car into drive, fighting the swell of trepidation that rolled over the top of me when I caught sight of Caleb where he stood against a pillar on the front porch.
I knew he’d spoken to Ryder. Knew he’d been wrought with a brand-new turmoil after, even though he hadn’t offered me any more details.
I forced myself to drive.
Kayden fell asleep during the thirty-mile trip back into town, while I silently cried, unable to keep the worries or thoughts or heartbreak at bay.
I was thankful when I finally pulled into the café parking lot. It was already packed with Sunday evening dinner guests. I drove through and rounded the small road that led to my house.