“Something’s going down,” Lula said.
We walked outside and checked the street.
“I see some flashy lights by the hospital,” Lula said.
Bob lifted his leg on my right rear tire, and we all went back into the office.
“We should make a list of things we need,” Lula said. “I don’t need clothes anymore, but I need furniture and accessories. I’m thinking about getting a little dining table with two chairs in case Grendel Doppelg?nger wants to come to dinner.”
“I need clothes,” I said. “I brought some to Rangeman but not enough to get me through a week. And I need furniture.”
“And you need a television,” Lula said. “Yours got melted.”
“And I need a car,” I said. “I can’t use the Rangeman car forever.”
“That’s a big-ticket item,” Lula said. “Good thing you made some apprehensions this week.”
Connie walked in and dumped her purse on her desk. “I got Scargucci bailed out and when I turned onto Hamilton on my way back here there was a car up on the sidewalk, smashed into a light post.”
“We saw the lights,” Lula said.
“I was stuck there while they got the guy out of the car. Bucky Balog was there directing traffic, and he said the guy had been shot. Upper arm. He said it was road rage.”
“What kind of car?” I asked Connie.
“Blue Maserati.”
“Am I good or what?” Lula said. “I didn’t think I got him.”
“Did I miss something?” Connie asked.
“Frankie Plover came in and pulled a gun on us,” I said. “There were shots fired and he ran out and drove off in his blue Maserati.”
“I used your gun,” Lula said to Connie. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“This has to be the first time in the history of the world that you actually hit your target,” Connie said.
“She took out the front window,” I said. “And Frankie put a couple rounds in your desk.”
“This never happened,” Connie said. “Some random took a hit from a guy needing anger management. We know nothing about it.”
“Works for me,” I said.
“Freakin’ A,” Lula said.
“Get out of my chair,” Connie said to Lula. “I need to check out my gun. It probably needs an exorcist after you’ve handled it.”
“Where are you staying tonight?” I asked Lula. “And do you know where Nutsy is staying?”
“Nutsy is with his parents. He figures if he hides and never goes out, no one will know he’s there. I have options. I could crash here, or I could go to a hotel, or Julio could turn out to be the man of my dreams, or at least he could be Mr. Good Enough, and all my problems are solved. And if Julio doesn’t work out, I got backups.”
I slouched onto the couch and took up Lula’s Star magazine. I wanted to be Lula. She navigated life better than I did. If something didn’t work out exactly as planned, she moved on to door number two. No problem. She had backup men. I had backup men, and it gave me an eye twitch.
“Do you want to get married?” I asked Lula, returning to our conversation that Frankie had interrupted.
“Sure,” Lula said.
“When?” I asked her.
“When I meet Prince Charming. Or when someone asks me, whichever is first.”
“Would you marry anyone who asks you?”
“I wouldn’t marry Simon Diggery. He smells like dirt and boa constrictor.”
“Fair enough.”
“Here’s your problem,” Lula said. “You got two men that’s at the top of the hot chart. They got everything any woman could hope for in spades. And they got their own agenda. Nothing wrong with that as long as your agenda matches up with their agenda. Problem is that their agenda don’t include getting married and you’re thinking maybe you want to reexamine the advantages of matrimony. Makes sense since you aren’t getting any younger.”
“I’m not that old! And I’m not reexamining anything.”
“Just sayin’. Anyways there’s lots of men you could talk into marrying you if you just lower your standards. I’ve got my sights set on Julio right now, but I wouldn’t mind passing Scargucci or Grendel Doppelg?nger over to you. Of course, you don’t want to be thinking about Scargucci for too long. He might be doing time soon.”
I glanced at my watch. Was it too early for wine? Maybe a couple shots of tequila?
Connie was on the phone talking to the glass-replacement guy. “Accidental gun discharge,” she said to him.
I grabbed my messenger bag and stood. “I need to check on my apartment,” I said.
I got into the Rangeman SUV and drove to my apartment. There were restoration vans from several companies in my parking lot. I was the only one with significant fire damage but there was water and smoke damage throughout the building.
Bob and I took the stairs to the second floor and walked past the giant fans in the hallway. My door was open, and several people were working inside. An eviction notice was tacked onto my door. No surprise there. I was a disaster. It was shocking that I hadn’t gotten kicked out sooner.
I asked one of the workmen when he thought I’d be able to move back in.
“Maybe tomorrow,” he said. “It won’t be perfect, but some of your rooms will be okay. It’s going to need paint and carpet or new flooring in the bedroom and living room. I guess that’s not your problem since you’ve been asked to leave.”
“My rent’s paid until the end of the month.”
“At least you don’t have a lot of furniture to move,” he said. “As far as I can see, the only thing that didn’t get burned up or water soaked is your dining room table and chairs.”
“Lucky me.”
“I can see you have a sense of humor. Maybe we can go out sometime. I’m free tonight.”
“Thanks,” I said, “but I’m already in two relationships. Maybe if you wanted to marry me.”
“Lady, you just got evicted because, from what I hear, you were firebombed. I’ve tried bungee jumping and I parachuted out of a plane once. I’m not a wimp, but I’m not crazy enough to marry you. The best I could offer you is a one-night stand.”
“I appreciate your honesty,” I said. “I’ll keep you in mind if I ever need a one-night stand.”
“Just call the restoration company and ask for Smitty.”
I went to the cupboard in the kitchen. No tequila. I looked in the fridge. No wine. Bob and I went back to the Explorer.
“Morelli’s coming home tomorrow,” I said to Bob. “You’ll be able to go home, and it looks like I’ll be able to go home. We’re happy about that, right?”
Bob looked like he was moderately happy, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about anything. I drove to Rangeman and set my computer up on Ranger’s dining room table. I went online and ordered a couch and a table lamp from Fast Fred’s Furniture to Go. I was told it would be delivered between two o’clock and four o’clock tomorrow. I went to Amazon and bought a sleeping bag. One-day delivery.
* * *