“Why in all the heavens would your stomach make that God-fearing sound?”
Right. I almost forgot that he doesn’t know anything about humans.
“That’s what stomachs do when you’re hungry,” I say. “They make noises.”
Death falls silent, and I know he’s remembering all over again how ill-equipped he is to have a human captive.
Is it too much to hope that he’ll just give up and decide to let me go?
It probably is. I sigh. Oh well.
I lay down on my side. “You can’t sleep next to me,” I say.
“I wasn’t planning on sleeping.”
My breath hitches for a moment, and I think about the way Death’s been looking at me lately, and my body comes to life, my pulse throbbing between my legs. But then I remember that the horseman doesn’t sleep. And anyway, he’s my kidnapper and my enemy, and sexual relations with him are off limits.
“Well,” I clear my throat, “you can’t not-sleep next to me either,” I say.
“If you’re hoping to make some grand escape, Laz—”
“Don’t shorten my name,” I say, making a face. He keeps on doing that.
“—then you are delusional. I will not let you out of my sight. Not tonight, not ever.”
Chapter 23
Pleasanton, Texas
January, Year 27 of the Horsemen
The horseman doesn’t leave my side, damn him.
As the hours tick by and the night grows colder and colder, I’ve curled myself into a tinier and tinier ball. My whole body shakes, and I can’t seem to get warm enough to fall into a deep sleep. So instead, I’m vividly fantasizing about being tucked under a heap of woolen blankets, a fire roaring at my side.
It almost helps.
Thanatos has respected my wishes—he hasn’t laid down near me. He has, however, decided to pace nearby. I can hear the crunch of plants being crushed beneath his boots and the sway of weeds brushing against his wings. Back and forth he walks. Back and forth, back and forth, back and— “W-will you p-please stop p-pacing?” It’s hard enough to sleep out here as it is.
The horseman’s footfalls come to a halt.
“This is the first time I have willingly kept myself in one place for so long,” he says out of the darkness. “It is … agitating.”
“G-go be a-agitated s-somewhere else,” I say.
There’s a pause, then— “Why does your voice sound like that? And what is that clicking noise that keeps coming from you?”
“B-because I’m c-cold,” I say. “N-normally I s-sleep inside—”
“Inside was an option,” he cuts in.
“—i-in a bed w-with blankets to k-keep me warm.”
Thanatos is silent.
Surely he’s aware of this.
I hear him stalk towards me. When I think he’s within arm’s reach, he kneels down next to me.
“Wh-what are you—?”
Before I can finish the thought, the horseman is laying his body out alongside mine. He pulls me against him. His armor hasn’t reappeared yet, and I nearly moan at the heat emanating off of him.
“You’re shaking again,” he says, alarmed.
“B-because I’m c-cold,” I remind him.
I can’t see his frown in the darkness, but I feel it all the same.
One of his wings comes around me, blanketing me in. And now fantasies about woolen blankets have been sidelined in favor of this.
“Better?” he asks softly, his voice like a caress. This is far more intimate than I bargained for.
And I like it. I like it so much. I can feel Thanatos’s delicious heat against my back and the warmth from his wing insulating me everywhere else. If I were a cat, I’d be purring. I melt into the horseman’s embrace, all my earlier declarations about him keeping his distance long forgotten.
“Mmm,” I murmur.
For some stretch of time, the two of us simply lay there like that, the horseman holding me closer than necessary and me secretly enjoying the crap out of it. Eventually, my body stops shaking and my teeth stop chattering.
He pulls me in tighter, and I might just be reading into this, but I think he’s pleased that I’m no longer shivering and stuttering from the cold.
“You don’t need to do this,” I say softly.
Several seconds pass before he answers.
“I could tell you about the number of people who I’ve claimed on nights like these,” he says. “I could tell you that you would only slow me down if you were dead or weak. But the truth is, this is instinct, kismet. I don’t understand why, but I want to be close to you, I want to hold you when you say you are cold.”
My heart beats loudly.
He is your enemy.
He is your enemy.
He’s solemn and indifferent and he’s hurt you and now he’s kidnapped you.
Do not give in to the pretty words.
“You’re really planning on laying here, out in the cold, with your wing pulled over me the entire night just to keep me warm?” I say.
“I’m not opposed to going inside where it’s probably warmer, but yes, I … think I am.”
My heart beats madly in my chest. I thought this was intimate before, when it was purely physical. I realize now that I was using the word wrong. Because this is intimate.
“I don’t know what to make of you,” I say quietly.
“Go to sleep, Lazarus. You can analyze it in the morning.”
And I do. Somehow, I fall asleep in Death’s arms like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
I wake burrowed against a broad chest.
I snuggle deeper into the heat and solid muscle before it registers.
I’m in Death’s arms.
Literal Death.
I blink my eyes open only to find that he’s staring at me.
All at once I’m pushing away from him, trying to get out of his arms.
For an instant, his hold tightens, but then he does release me, and I roll away, brushing past the dark wing that’s still covering me.
I scramble to my feet, nearly tripping over a discarded computer monitor laying nearby.
Thanatos props himself up on an elbow. He doesn’t look like he’s in any hurry to get up, even though the plants around us have lacy frost on their edges and his breath is misting in the morning air and his muscles must be stiff from staying in the same position for so long.
Assuming, of course, that the horseman gets stiff muscles.
He probably doesn’t.
I don’t know what to think about the fact that Death himself held me through the night, so after taking a deep breath and staring at him for a long moment, I settle for turning my back on the horseman and heading back into the derelict ranch house.
Not a minute later the door creaks open behind me.
“Can’t you give me one iota of space?” I say without turning around. “Is that too much to ask?”
Thanatos’s heavy footfalls are slow, the wood creaking beneath him with each step he takes.
“Do you really want space?” he asks softly. He comes right up to my back.
“Yes,” I say, swiveling around to face him.
“So be it.”
Death grabs one of my wrists.
“Hey!” Before I can jerk away from his hold, he spins me around and grabs the other. He pulls them both behind me.
“What are you doing?” I yank against him as I speak.
Thanatos whistles over his shoulder, and I hear the distant plod of horse’s hooves.
Still holding my wrists, Thanatos steers me towards the front door, opening it wide. Outside, his horse trots up to the front of the house, tossing its dark mane. Without any prompting, the beast enters the building, coming right up to Death’s side.
I jerk against Thanatos’s hold again, but it’s useless. His grip is unyielding.
“So, are we back to being enemies?” I say.
He pulls me close. “You’re the one who keeps insisting we have never stopped being ones.”
I growl as I try to tug my wrists free. It’s useless. “Well, friends definitely don’t restrain each other.”
Death reaches into one of his horse’s saddlebags and pulls out— “Rope? You’re going to tie me up now?” I ask, outraged. As I speak, his horse plods back out of the house.
Death jerks me by my wrists so that I’m forced to lean back against his sculpted chest. “You have tied me up several times yourself,” he says, his lips brushing against my ear. Goosebumps break out across my skin. “It’s only fitting I return the favor.”