I laugh. I can’t help it. “No, I don’t imagine you would be.” I lean forward, drawing her gaze from the book to my face. “You’re too invested in new experiences to limit yourself to one person.”
She eyes me as if testing for a trap. “Even if you were fine with that, there’s still Theseus between us. I like you quite a bit, Eris, but he’s my best friend. If you two can’t come to some kind of peace, then there can be no you and me.”
I lean back and shut my book. I’m not normally one to let my emotions get the best of me, but I want more time with Pandora. Not just to get whatever information out of her. Not just to use her to hurt my husband.
I feel parts of me unwind in her presence. She’s gone through so much and still manages to keep a light about her that feels downright magical.
It could be that I’m playing right into her hands—into Minos’s hands—by indulging this attraction, but… “What about a compromise?”
“What compromise?”
This is a fool’s bargain. I don’t care. I lean forward and prop my elbows on my thighs. “When it’s just you and me…it’s just you and me. No politics. No mining for information. No public power plays. Just us.”
Pandora laughs. The sound fills the room like afternoon sunlight. “Come now, Eris. I may not know you well, but even so, I’d put good money on you sticking to that agreement for only as long as it suits you.”
She’s right. I shrug. “We’ll have plenty of fun in the meantime.”
“You’re unrelenting.” She purses her lips and flips another page. “It’s not a good idea.”
No, it’s certainly not. I push to my feet and cross to slide the book out of her hands. “Nothing about this has been a good idea. That hasn’t stopped either of us yet.”
“If you’re trying to get into my pants, there are easier ways.”
It would be simpler if that was all I wanted from Pandora. I do want that, but I’ve also enjoyed the time we’ve spent together in the last two weeks. I like that she laughs too loud and doesn’t care who else is in the room. I love the way she seems perpetually willing to see the glass as half-full, no matter the circumstances. She’s soft and she’s sweet and yet she’s not weak. I can’t steamroll her. I like that, too.
Part of me whispers that the only reason I’m pushing so hard for this is because I’ve lost Adonis, but it’s not quite the truth. That relationship was worlds different than what Pandora and I might have. Even if she’s technically part of Minos’s household, she stands outside the power structure. She’s not Olympian. She’s enemy by association, but not actively working to hurt the city I love.
With Adonis, things were never simple. Even when we were alone, part of me was always aware of what our relationship looked like from the outside. What it meant. He might not have ambitions to be one of the Thirteen, but his proximity to me, especially after I became Aphrodite, made him a power player.
And power players are not to be overlooked or underestimated when it comes to the damage they can cause, even unwittingly.
Even in our relationship itself, he and I were always so intense, hot and cold and never anything in between. Before meeting Pandora, I would have said that something warm and easy and simple would be the antithesis of what I wanted.
I was wrong.
For the first time in weeks, I’m not thinking about my next move or how to manipulate those around me into cleaving to my end goals. I’m just…relaxed. Because of her. “How about this?” I tuck a long strand of her dark hair behind her ear. An excuse to touch her, and it takes far more effort than I would like to admit to withdraw my hand instead of cupping her jaw and tilting her face up. “We won’t have sex.”
“What?”
I nod, even though I have my doubts about this plan. “We know we fit there, even if we haven’t indulged nearly as much as I’d like. Give me a chance to prove we fit elsewhere. No monogamy. Open communication.” This is probably a mistake. It might feel simple when we’re alone, but I’m Aphrodite. Who I take to bed is anything but uncomplicated. It will give Pandora power…if she chooses to take it.
She narrows her eyes. “You’re serious.”
“Yes.” I hope to the gods I’m not making a mistake, but it’s too late to back out now. I’ve lost Adonis. I’m playing out an intense game of political chess with my husband, which isn’t helped by the fact that last night’s sex confused the situation more than I want to admit. Adonis was right to freak out about my sleeping with Hephaestus. I don’t know how to deal with the fact I did, so I’m just ignoring that it happened in the first place.
Pandora is still staring at me like I’ve grown a second head. My skin heats in something like embarrassment, so I grab her hand and pull her toward the couch. “Let’s start now. We’ll watch a movie.”
“A movie.”
“Yes, that’s what normal people do on dates.” I’m pretty sure. I tend to prefer ridiculously expensive dinners and dancing, interspersed with sowing chaos in the political parties the Thirteen host on a semi-regular basis. It’s always more fun to do it with a partner in tow, even if they’re only there to observe. The shared experience is fun to deconstruct later that night after we’ve fucked all the restless energy out of ourselves.
But sex is currently off the table with Pandora.
A movie seems like a safe enough bet. I’m sure I can manage to keep my hands to myself and prove that I’m serious about this with her. Probably.
“Okay, fine. Let’s watch a movie.” She points at me. “But only because I really don’t want to go back to Minos’s place.”
“You really aren’t a fan of his, are you?”
“That is severely understating things.”
I almost offer to set her up in her own place, but that’s too much, too soon. She’s not even sure if she wants to watch a movie with me, and I’m standing here wondering if she’ll let me pay for her rent. I give myself a mental shake. “Let’s see what’s streaming.”
In the end, I let Pandora pick, though I have cause to regret it when she lands on a horror movie about a haunted house. I don’t mind gore and I’ve sat through more thrillers with Perseus than I care to admit, but there’s something about ghosts that gets beneath my skin.
Maybe because I have my own haunting me. Some living, like my little brother. Some dead and gone, like my mother. I don’t think of her most days, but when the old grief rises, dull and throbbing like a poorly healed wound, it always catches me unaware.
And my father? He haunts me in an entirely different way. The longer I hold the Aphrodite title, the more I see why he did some of the things he did. When you have so much power at your disposal, it’s so easy to trample those around you. My aims might be slightly more noble than his—protection of this city, rather than personal gain—but that doesn’t change the outcome.
I’ve hurt people, just like he hurt people. Without hesitation. Without regret. I’d do it again if the situation required it.
Growing up, I never thought I’d be in danger of becoming the monster who terrorized my childhood, and yet it’s a future that feels inescapable now.
“Eris?”
I glance down to find Pandora watching me with a worried expression on her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” It’s even the truth. I am fine. My heart hurts over losing Adonis, but not enough to change my path. I’d probably shed a tear if I had cause to trample Pandora, but I’d do it without blinking if Olympus required it.
Gods, I really am a monster.
“Do you have a blanket around here? It’s a little cold.”
I’m pathetically grateful to get up and pull out one of the throw blankets I keep in the chest under the television. I pause to flip off the overhead light and then walk back to the couch.
Pandora takes the blanket from me and shakes it out. “This will work.” I barely have a chance to sit down before she’s cuddling up against me and tossing the blanket over us both. She exhales gustily. “Perfect.”