“As any good man would.” I refilled both our empty drink flutes with the pitcher.
“So I just fucking told him.” She shrugged. “I said, I love you but I hate my job, and before you I was making a lot of money doing the cam thing. I knew it wasn’t for everyone but it was for me—and I wanted him to love all of me.”
“Obviously I know the ending of this fairy tale.”
“He made me quit the bank the next day," she said. “Everything has always been so easy with Mateo. I knew right then it was him or nothing. That’s my lifer.”
My heart swelled. “Now you’re gonna make me cry.” I sighed, swiping under my eyes. “You and your money-making titties are making me cry.”
We used to lay in bed and manifest having the kind of relationship Nat was in now. Through hook-ups, break-ups, dating a different guy every semester of college, planning our weddings on corkboards when we got snowed into our dorms that one freak October at CSU.
I was so happy for her.
Guilt twinged in my gut, however. Because no matter how elated and excited I was, a piece of me still burned with jealousy. Wondering if I would ever feel that all-encompassing, ride-or-die kind of love.
“Mateo was just the cameraman at first, but then he got a little possessive.” She laughed. “People really responded to the two of us together, and that little bit of wild in our relationship keeps it fun. Plus, now we’re swimming in it.”
“So the boys don’t actually do cyber security?”
“Oh, no, that’s legit. Matty has our network so wired that if anyone tried to find us they’d be looking in a rainforest in Southeast Asia.”
“You two are like the dream team.”
Natalia winked. “God, I would kill to be a fly on the wall for his conversation with Frankie.”
There was no coming back from walking in on our friends engaged in Christmas-themed coitus. We might have been able to recover after the cookie debacle, but I was fairly positive Frankie’s blue balls had turned to snowballs, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the type of person who would pay to watch the Clauses do it doggy style.
“What I can tell you for sure is that seeing his roommate half-naked in a Santa suit sucked every last ounce of libido from his body.”
“Were you fucking?” Her eyes widened.
“Not yet.”
“You fucking slut.”
“Hey!” I tossed a polenta fry at her. “You know what he asked me? To be friends with benefits while I’m here.”
“You’re saying this like it was Frankie’s bright idea, when, hello!” She pointed at her face. “I was the first person to tell you to take advantage of the hassle-free dick.”
Natalia was about the furthest thing from coy, and her voice carried through the dining area like an echo. I glanced around and met the shocked glances in our direction with a shy, apologetic smile.
“I was worried it would get too messy,” I reminded her. “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to be let down in both Colorado and Coconut Creek. This is a vacation.”
“But you’re gonna do it.”
I hid my embarrassment. “Yeah.”
“You fucking slut,” she repeated with a jovial smile.
How Frankie managed to convince me so quickly probably had something to do with the fact that I couldn’t look him in the eyes without wanting to melt into them. I was crazy to think I’d make it three weeks without crumbling.
Less than one.
I was not the face of unwavering stances. Trying to convince myself not to sleep with him after he got me off in the Atlantic was like convincing myself not to color code all my lesson plans. AKA, not happening.
I wanted Frankie to make me come again. Kill me for it.
“We laid some ground rules. No confusion, no questions, and no attachment.”
Natalia bit down on the edge of her straw and regarded me across the table. I’d seen that look before. Her “sounds like trouble” look. One I didn’t entirely disagree with, but was choosing to ignore for purely selfish reasons.
“Listen, I don’t know too many details,” Nat said somberly. “But I know his ex screwed him up, and he hasn’t dated anyone since. I don’t think the guy’s so much as gotten a blowjob since.”
“Well that’s part of the whole agreement.”
“Blowjobs?”
The older woman at the booth behind us turned and glared at Natalia.
“I can’t take you anywhere.” I snorted. “No, not blowies—helping him get over his ex. I’ll be like…his test run before he gets back on track.”
“In exchange for…?”
A blush crept its way up my neck that had nothing to do with the alcohol buzz. “Directly out of Frankie’s mouth, mind-blowing, filthy sex.”
She sighed wistfully. “Ugh, God. Now I’m horny.”
“You’re welcome.” I clinked our glasses together. “Now you don’t have to feel bad about leaving me alone all night while you and Mateo…film.”
“You’d be shocked at how busy the holidays are for us. People are lonely this time of year. I mean, think about it. Everything is so cheery and festive and then there’s people who are just alone in their house with no family, no significant other. It’s depressing.”
I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow.
“That didn’t come out right.” She paled. “Not you, you’re not the same at all. You’re like, young and hot, and you could go to the grocery store and pick a DILF out of the butcher section buying a ham and take him home with you.”
“Relax, I know you didn’t mean it.” I chuckled, considering her thoughtfully. A rush of warmth overcame me. “I’m so proud of you, Nat. I want you to know that, seriously. You’re the coolest person I know, and you’re authentic, and brave, and passionate—and I’ll always be cheering you on.”
Her eyes glistened and she reached over the table to squeeze my hand. “Now you and your big teacher titties are making me cry.” Her full bottom lip jutted out and trembled with unshed emotion. “Love you more.”
“Love you more,” I answered, then cleared my throat. “Just out of curiosity though, if I did want to find a certain webcam couple for those lonely nights…”
She laughed. “Phee, you just ask, and we’ll give you your own private show.”
18
I hadn’t taken a woman out on a date in a decade. Flirting mercilessly with Ophelia was one thing, it was as natural as breathing—but a proper pick her up, open the car door, impress her with my charm and intelligence outing? That was something else entirely.
Why the fuck was I so nervous?
Mateo was taking Tally to her parents’ house for the day in Fort Lauderdale, which was like pulling teeth because she didn’t want to leave Ophelia for the few hours they’d be gone. Natalia didn’t know the random lunch with her family wasn’t random at all, and that Mateo had a string of things he needed to check off a list before Christmas—a private conversation with her father being one of them. Cap promised the girl that her best friend would be perfectly occupied, protected, and taken care of, as if I was a paid bodyguard and not a retired, disabled veteran.