We stand side by side in the elevator, so much quiet tension in this tiny metal box. Miller doesn’t make a move, doesn’t say something sexual to cut the tension. She lets it linger, lets me choke on it.
But we both know it isn’t her responsibility to once again declare how much she wants me. The ball is in my court, and after I’ve stopped us not only once, but twice, I’m the one who has to make a move. She’s not going to put herself in the position to get shot down again, and I truly don’t believe she’d try anything when she knows my fears of growing attached to another person who is leaving.
Her hand is right beside mine, dangling only an inch from my own. I want to pin her to the wall, press the emergency stop button and fall to my knees. It’d be fitting if I’d finally make a move and it’s in an elevator, seeing as this is where it all started.
But before I can it dings, the doors open, and Miller exhales a defeated sigh before exiting and heading straight for her room with a bit of speed to her steps. She doesn’t waste any time, pulling out her key card and holding it to the lock. “Goodnight, Kai,” she says, opening the door. “Thanks for tonight. I had fun.”
With that, she offers me a small smile, goes inside, and closes the door behind her, leaving me in the hallway.
Fuck.
Inside, I’m alone. My son’s not here. The only person I’m responsible for right now is myself and I’m really fucking tired of being responsible.
I want to be reckless and impulsive.
I want the woman on the other side of this wall, and I’m done trying to convince myself I don’t.
Why the fuck did I hesitate in the elevator?
For once, I’m not thinking about anyone else with this decision. I’m not thinking about my responsibilities. I’m not even thinking about my future self and how bad this is going to hurt when it’s done.
So what if she wants casual? Whether or not we have sex, I’m going to be a mess when she leaves, so what’s the point in abstaining from what we both want?
I’ll pretend.
I’ll fucking pretend. For her sake, I’ll keep it casual on the surface, and when she leaves at the end of the summer, I’ll wallow and bitch in private.
I can’t deny it anymore.
So, with unsteady breaths racking my chest, I raise my hand to knock on the door between our rooms, but before I can make contact, it opens.
Hand on the knob, Miller is breathing just as heavy, green eyes dark and a bit unhinged. She already took her overalls off, standing in the doorway in nothing but a little shirt and panties.
I allow myself to eye-fuck the hell out of her because I’ve spent too many days pretending like she’s not the only thing I see.
Her attention finds my balled hand still hanging in the air, a bit of surprise ghosting her face. “Why were you about to knock?”
“Why did you open the door?”
“I asked first.”
“I was going to knock because I’m about to be selfish.” Stepping forward, I cross the threshold between her room and mine, recognizing the metaphor of it all. “For once, I’m going to take what I want.”
The corner of her lip lifts in a dangerous grin. “Finally.”
Chapter 23
Miller
Stepping into my room, Kai’s hands immediately sink into my hair, fingers tightening to tilt my attention up to him, lips hovering over mine. “Can I take what I want, Miller?”
Speechless, by both the untethered spark in his eye and his dominating yet uncontrolled vibe, I simply nod.
“Can I hear you say it?”
“Yes,” I hiss when his fingers pull my hair in that delicious way. “You can take whatever you’d like.”
“Good.” He nips at my lower lip. “Now tell me why you opened the door.”
“Because I was going to see if you’ve made up your mind about whether or not you want me.”
His chuckle is a bit dark. “That’s never been the issue and you know it.”
With a single arm around my waist, Kai lifts me, my legs instinctively wrapping around him as his lips meet mine in a kiss that is so unexpectedly possessive, it startles me. I think I might be out of my body, looking down to see a man who is typically the last person to take what he wants, but has finally decided to be selfish tonight. But then my back slams against the wall, and I’m jolted right back into the moment to realize this is real and it’s happening.
“Kai,” I breathe against his lips. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Are you sure this is what you want?”
His eyes soften, his nose nudging mine.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I continue in a whisper.
“I know.” He places a tender kiss on my lips. “I know exactly what this is, and I want it.”
Kai’s tongue sweeps against mine as his erection rolls against my core.
It’s dirty and needy and, quite frankly, not what I was expecting after visiting a quaint bake shop. But I think that’s what he needs to make this fling work. The connection, the trust. Though he constantly said tonight wasn’t a date, it clearly was, and maybe a sweet date beforehand is our solution.
But there’s nothing sweet about this man right now.
“You wanna have some fun with me?” Kai rasps against my lips.
Dear God. Such simple words, but they unravel any previous concerns of protecting him. If he keeps talking like that, I’m going to be the one who needs protection.
“Please.”
He smiles into my mouth.
Using the wall to hold me up, he grips the underside of my thigh, kneading the flesh like he’s been dreaming of touching it. His other hand snakes down my back, over the curve of my ass, until his fingers slip under the hem of my panties.
But he doesn’t go any further. He teases. He savors.
I’m on fire. Every part of me burns for him to touch me. And I mean really touch me, without any fabric between us this time.
His fingers fall lower, so frustratingly close to where I need them that I whimper into his mouth.
He chuckles. “Needy, Mills?”
“Yes,” I whine. “I’ve touched myself so many times thinking about you.”
His brows lift with interest. “In my house?”
“Right on the other side of the wall from you. That night, after the kitchen, I got myself off again just from replaying it in my mind.”
“Jesus.”
Kai’s hand is so big he palms my ass perfectly, squeezing before he slips his fingers under my panty line again, this time grazing over my entire pussy like it’s a reward for being honest.
My head falls back against the wall.
“So soft,” he hums against my throat as his mouth trails over it. “You’re ready for it, huh?”
“I’ve been ready for it since the day I saw you in that elevator.”
His middle finger circles my clit, coaxing the truth.
“I’ve wanted this since I met you.”
He nips at my collarbone, smiling against my skin. “I know.”
Usually, the arrogant thing doesn’t do it for me, but Kai having a moment of cockiness? I’m fairly certain his fingers are soaked because of it.
“Thank you for that,” he continues. “Not to get all sappy before I fuck you, but you make me feel like a man again and not just a dad.”
Good God. I don’t know where to focus first. On my hips grinding down on his hand, asking for a finger to slip inside, or the way the words before I fuck you sound rolling off Kai’s tongue.
Or how this man is so easily vulnerable, it tempts me to be the same.
But because he knows me a bit too well already, he steers away from the sweet and sentimental stuff when I remain speechless.
“Have you been planning this the whole time, Miller? Ever since that elevator, where you wouldn’t stop talking. You knew one day I’d have to pin you to the wall and make you shut up, didn’t you?” He squeezes my thigh again, his other fingers rolling slow torturous circles over my clit. “And goddamn, these legs are going to feel so warm on my cheeks when I bury my tongue right here.”
A finger slips inside, slowly working its way deep.