I can feel the smile widening on my face. “There you go. You’re doing it! Keep going!”
The boys behind me are stirring with excitement. The anticipation feels similar to that of an important ninth inning when we’re down with our best batter at the plate, looking for a walk-off win. I figured for them, it’s simply a toddler’s first steps. But for me, it’s the not so gentle reminder that he’s good. He’s growing and I’m not messing everything up. So, even though I’ve been waiting for this day for months, I didn’t realize the boys would be just as excited as I am.
I once assumed I didn’t have anyone there to celebrate the good moments with, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ve had these guys the whole time.
Max is flailing about like one of those blow-up guys you see at a car dealership, but he’s able to maintain his stability. He steps forward with his right foot, wobbles, and steadies himself before bringing his left foot forward too.
“Yes, Max!” The first cheer resounds behind me.
“Good job, Max.” The smile on my face is splitting. “Two more big steps and you’re here.”
God, my chest could burst from the amount of pride that’s flowing through me. He’s doing it. He’s really fucking doing it.
Then his little feet, decked out in checkered Vans, take two more steps onto home plate, right into the cradle of my outstretched arms.
The team goes nuts behind me.
“So good, Bug!” The laugh I exhale is full of relief as I hug him close to my chest, covering him in kisses.
When I stand with him in my arms, the boys cheer louder than I’ve ever heard. The noise is almost deafening as they jump onto each other, pushing one another in the chest like we just won some massive game or something.
“Let’s fucking go!” Isaiah tosses his head back, arms out wide.
I’ll remind him about cussing in front of my kid later; for now, I want to celebrate.
The noise is too much for him and Max’s face melts, his lower lip wobbling before he lets out a giant wail.
“Oh buddy,” I soothe, trying to cover up my chuckle. I pull him into my chest, running a hand over his hair. “It’s okay. They’re just excited for you.”
The cheers settle immediately. It takes a second but soon enough, Max’s face pops off my shoulder to look at them all once again and his chubby-cheeked smile is back, though his blue eyes are rimmed in red.
The boys cheer again, keeping their volume at a less frightening level, and as they smother my son with attention, I glance over my shoulder, looking for Miller.
She was standing with Monty, but now he’s alone.
“Take him for a minute,” I tell my brother, handing off my son.
I slip behind the batting cage, headed straight for my coach. “Where’d she go?”
An annoyingly knowing smile lifts on his lips. “She just left. Asked me if practice was over and said she figured you wanted to take Max home with you.”
Before he can add any more, I take off to the dugout, jumping over the stairs and jogging down the hallway where she originally came from. I can see the frayed hem of her cut-off overalls as soon as I’m in the tunnel that leads to the offices, clubhouse, and eventually the parking lot.
“Miller! Hold up.”
She turns on her heel as I continue to chase after her, the spikes from my cleats clattering against the floor.
“Where are you going?”
She throws a thumb over her shoulder, gesturing towards the parking lot. “Home.”
Home.
“I mean, to your house,” she corrects from down the tunnel.
I keep jogging and as soon as I can reach her, I pull her into my body, both arms wrapping around her shoulders. “Did you see him?” I ask, my words slightly muffled against her hair. “Did you see him walk?”
She nods against me, her arms snaking around my waist. “He did so well.”
“Thank you. For bringing him to me. I’m so glad I didn’t miss that.”
“I promised you.”
I linger a little longer than I probably should, but there’s no one around to remind me to stop getting so fucking attached to this woman, so I stay, holding her in a hug for another moment. Eventually I pull away, my hand still cupping the back of her neck just to give myself permission to touch her in some way. I don’t know what else there is to say, but I also don’t want her to leave.
“Cody wants you to give him baking lessons,” is what I come up with.
“Really?”
“Yeah. You know how he is, always trying new things.”
“I’d love to teach him!” There’s so much excitement in her tone, so much eagerness on her face.
“I’ll let him know. You guys could do it at the house sometime.”
“That’d be great.” Her green eyes sparkle under the fluorescent lights of the hallway. “The only time I’ve gotten to teach people is in the kitchens I contract for but that’s all high-skill stuff. I think it’d be fun to teach someone the basics. Well, someone other than Max.” She finishes that with a soft laugh.
Miller is glowing. I mean, she’s beaming like a fucking glowstick at the prospect.
I stroke my fingers against the nape of her neck, reminding us both that I’m still touching her. My other hand comes up to cradle her jaw, my thumb brushing over the soft pillow of her lower lip as my body subtly slants over hers.
“Kai,” she whispers.
“Hmm?”
“Are you going to kiss me?”
“Thinking about it.”
“What happened to your no-more-kissing rule?”
“Wanting to break it.”
She nods, the movement causing my thumb to tug at her lower lip, pulling it down, and fuck if I don’t want to slip that into my mouth and suck on it.
“I’ve always hated that rule,” she says.
But before I decide what I’m going to do, the tunnel fills with echoing voices from my teammates headed this way from the field. Miller takes my hand that was on her lips and places a chaste kiss on the inside of my palm before dropping it to fall back at my side.
We keep our attention on each other as bodies swarm past us, headed to the clubhouse.
I get a few taps on my ass as they walk by, Miller is given a few “Hot Nanny” calls which I hate, and my brother gives me a wink over her shoulder as he takes Max into the clubhouse with him.
I scratch the back of my neck, knowing I need to go. “So . . . um, Max and I won’t be home tonight. We have family dinner.”
“Oh, with Isaiah?”
“No, with my friends, but for some reason we call it family dinner. It happens every Sunday night and I go when I’m in town.”
“Okay. Well, have fun, and I’ll see you later.” She gives my hand a quick squeeze, turning back towards the parking lot.
“Hey, Miller.” She once again stops for me, and I’m stuck here rubbing at my neck like a nervous dork. “Would you want to come with me?”
That naughty smile is back. “In what sense are you asking me to come with you?”
“Get your teenaged-boy mind out of the gutter. Would you want to come to family dinner with me?”
“Do you need help with Max?”
“No.”
I can see her tensing from here, maybe thinking my invitation means more than it should. Truly, I have no idea what it means other than I want her there.
“If it makes you feel any better,” I continue. “The only reason I want you there is so I can prove to my people that I can go a whole month without firing a nanny. It has nothing to do with me enjoying your company whatsoever.”
She bites back a smile. “And just how many of your people will be there?”
If she goes, all of them.
“Five or six. Give or take depending on if Isaiah shows. And they all assume we’re fucking so heads-up on that.”
“If it were up to me, they’d be right.”
I purposefully ignore her because I’m already battling with myself here and her constant approval isn’t helping me fight the urge.
“I’d have more fun if you were there,” I add. “Remember that fun you promised me? You know, because I’m an overworked and overtired single dad that doesn’t know how to let loose.”