It’s Will.
Will is here, with both of us, and I’m pretty sure that there was something I was supposed to—
“Fuck,” I say loudly, slipping under the table.
“What are you doing here?” Artemis has somehow thrown herself through the air and stuck herself to the front of my ex-boyfriend like one of those little sticky men you chuck at windows. “You’re not supposed to be back for another three days!” She kisses his nose. “You didn’t tell me!” She kisses his ear. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” She kisses his eyebrow. “I mean, I know we’ve only met twice and I’m being a bit clingy, but this is bloody outrageous.”
Will is laughing. “I thought you liked surprises?”
“I love surprises.” Art grabs his head with both her hands, as if she’s going to eat it, and they both look so happy to see each other. I can feel their neon-blue joy spilling over like one of Sal’s poorly organized vodka shots. “How did you know? Oh. I told you. Okay, that makes sense. How was it? Tell me everything.”
“I will.” His eyes are captivated by her beautiful face, like Paris meeting Helen for the first time. “Turns out there are only seven vaquitas left in the world, so we’ve had to make another plan to find the poor little buggers.”
“That is far too sad,” Artemis announces. “Just pretend you got kidnapped by pirates or something. Keep the tone celebratory.”
Laughing, they both lean in for their very first kiss. It’s surreal, how I can feel their clear connection from all the way under this tiny wooden table where I’m currently crouched in a ball.
“Come with me.” Art grabs Will’s hand. “You have got to meet my sister. You’re going to love her. If you don’t love her, I can’t love you. It’s as simple as that. So you’d better love her, that’s all I’m saying. No pressure, but literally all the pressure.”
“I’m sure I will love her,” Will laughs. “Can I please get a drink first?”
“No.” Artemis tugs him toward us. “You can have a drink after. Then we can celebrate your return and her imminent departure at the same time. You’re kind of swapping over. William Baker, meet—Cass? Cassandra, why are you under the table? She hates meeting new people. I should have done it a little bit at a time, like introducing a recently acquired kitten. Can someone please go under and get her?”
Closing my eyes briefly, I take a deep breath.
Then I clamber out awkwardly and stand in the middle of the pub, with the rest of our party watching me curiously. In fairness, I asked for this. It serves me right for spending a hundred hours googling maps of Athens and facts about the Acropolis and Temple of Poseidon instead of remembering the small yet arguably more important point that I currently share an ex-partner with my own bloody sister.
“I couldn’t find my phone.” I realize it’s in my hand. “Oh. There it is.”
“Cassandra?” Will says.
“Hello, Will,” I reply stiffly. “It’s nice to see you. How was Mexico?”
Will opens his mouth, shuts it, opens it again. He glances from me to Artemis, then back to me again. “What the bloody hell is going on?”
“Wait.” Artemis is also visibly spiraling. “You know each other already? How do you know each other? Through work? Cass?”
There’s an awful lot of truth, but I’m not sure how much they’re asking for.
“I can’t tell exactly what is happening,” Sophie narrates chirpily to Sal, “but it looks like they’ve had a bit of boyfriend swapsies. This is very exciting. Like a reality-TV show, except everyone is quite a lot older.”
Will kindly decides to step in and elucidate further.
“So what’s going on is I dated Cassie.” He frowns. “Briefly. We went on three dates, just before I met you, Diana. Which is why I’m a bit thrown. You’re sisters? Is this some kind of...joke? A setup? Am I being recorded?” He looks around the pub. “Am I missing something that makes this situation less weird?”
“Artemis,” Art says abruptly, her face suddenly pale.
“I’m sorry?”
“My name is Artemis. Not Diana. I lied.”
“Now?” I sigh in frustration as Will’s colors shift yet again. “Of all the possible times, you decided to tell him that now?”
“It just came out,” Art says in desperation, then frowns. “Wait. This is your ex? Will is the guy you’ve been traveling through time for? Cassandra?”
“I...” I swallow. “A little bit.”
“A little bit?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my God.” Artemis crumbles. “Cassandra, how did this happen? Do I already know this? Have I found out already?” She studies my face and freezes. “So that’s a yes. How many times have I found out?”
“This is the second,” I say in a small voice.
“You cannot do this to me,” she shouts, picking up crisps and throwing them at my head one by one. “I am so cross with you, Cassandra Dankworth! So cross.”
I duck the crisps and we both turn toward Will.
The poor guy looks like he might be about to be sick, and I can’t blame him. It takes a certain kind of man to happily date two sisters—one of whom is apparently a secret time traveler—and I’m not sure it’s one either of us would want. I think the time for breaking this news gently might now have passed.
“I...” Will starts, then shakes his head and takes a step back. “This is too much. I don’t know how to... I can’t... I’m so sorry, but nope.”
Looking wild-eyed, like a captured Pegasus, Will slings his backpack over his shoulder and leaves the pub even faster than he arrived in it, which is—I think about it—yup, exactly what I logically assumed would happen.
Artemis sinks back into her pub chair. “Shit.”
Nobody moves.
“Wow,” Sal observes approvingly, looking at me with an expression I haven’t seen before. “What an incredibly dramatic family this is. I love it. I’m buying a subscription. Does this sort of thing happen a lot?”
“Let’s give the poor girls some space,” Barry says firmly. “Drinks are on me. Everyone. Bar. Now.”
“SHIT,” Artemis yells much louder as our party scuttles away from the table. “This is so typical. You finally meet a great guy and he’s already been in an on-again, off-again relationship through time and space with your closest blood relation. There’s always something, isn’t there. How did this even happen? Cassandra Penelope Dankworth, you have got a lot of explaining to do.”
Desperately, I scan through my phone.
“Cass.”
I hit Google and read the results.
“Cass.”
Memorize the contents as fast as I can.
“Cassandra, put your bloody phone down and talk to me.” Artemis rips it out of my hands and stares at it. “What is this?”
I shuffle away. “Nothing.”
“You just googled a list of local accidents over the last month. Do you think I’m stupid? You’re not doing it.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“But I am, though.”
I take my phone back off her and stare at it again. I can do this. I know I can. And while I’m there, I might as well branch out a bit. Put my time to good use. There you go: there’s another expression about time to add to the list. You can own time and put it anywhere you like—you just have to decide where.
“No.” Artemis chucks the phone on the floor—it smashes, no big deal, I’m about to undo that too—and grabs my hands. “I am not letting you do this. You will lose everything. Do you understand, Cassandra? Everything you’ve done, all the things you’ve achieved, it’ll all disappear. All these people who care about you. Poof. Gone. You’ll be alone again. It’ll be like it never happened.”
“Yes.” I roll my eyes. “I do grasp the general concept of time.”
“Then at least do it for you.” Artemis has started crying again, and I swear to all the gods and their cupbearers, she needs to get a grip on her emotions. She lives way too near the waterworks. It’s like building houses three inches from the ocean. “Just go back and get Will, Cassie. I’ll never know.”
“There’s no point.” I realize it’s true as soon as I say it. “It wouldn’t work. Will and I are completely incompatible. I don’t need to see the future to know we’d eventually make each other miserable. I could try again and it would end again. And again. And again. We’re very different people.”
“But—”
“I love Will,” I say calmly. “But we don’t want the same life. I don’t want children and noise and travel and mess and dogs and tents. You do. So have it, Artemis. Let me be the cool aunt with the amazing clothes and the quiet house full of books and peace and beautiful things that nobody ever touches. Let me have the life I’m supposed to have. Let me love you both, the best way I can. Please.”
Artemis hiccups, her sweet little face all soggy.
And here they come: all the Emotions.
Every color turns up—together, in one go—and I feel them in their infinity, their breadth, their overwhelming spectrum.
I close my eyes.