I rolled my lips inward, wanting to laugh at Charlie’s face; he grimaced like Cleveland had called him something vile. Charlie said, “Well, those are the words that they told me to say. So, um, I guess yes.”
Mr. Cleveland gestured to the open seat in the front row. “Then have a seat.”
“Awesome,” Charlie said, dropping into the chair.
“Your timing is perfect, son, because we’re just about to go over the Funnnertainment Employee Handbook.” The man chuckled loudly for a half second, very clown-like, before adding, “Buckle up, Protostars, cuz it’s about to get real.”
I bit down on my lip to hold in a groan.
Nekesa rolled her eyes and mouthed, Real boring.
Mr. Cleveland started reading word for word through the handbook. I pulled out a pencil and took notes—because what else was there to do. He went over the dress code (uniforms only), the payroll system, and employee benefits before we finally broke for lunch.
I’d never been happier to stand.
Everyone had a voucher to get a free meal in the food court, so Nekesa and I—and the rest of the monster-sized training group—started down a long and endless hallway that led to the Galaxy of Funstaurants.
I lowered my voice and said to Nekesa, “Maybe we should ditch now, before lunch.”
“What?”
I glanced over my shoulder. “It wouldn’t feel right to take the free lunch if we’re quitting.”
Nekesa looked at me like I’d just confessed to a squirrel obsession. “Quitting? What are you talking about? This place is totally bonkers.”
“Which is why I said what I said.”
“What is more hilarious than this place, Bay? I could work at a grocery store where customers yell at me because their coupon won’t work, or I could be a Protostar whose quarterly review involves learning a line dance. That, my friend, is gold and should be treated as such.”
It was such a Nekesa thing to say.
Sometimes best friends were like twins separated at birth. But Nekesa and I—not so much.
She was outgoing, hilarious, and always down for a good time. She sewed her own amazing clothes, she took ballroom dancing classes for fun, and she’d punched someone in the mouth once. She was like the heroine in a zombie movie who’d be wielding a stake and yelling, Come and get me, you zombie pussies!
I was… well, not that. I was perpetually trying to keep up with her. I’d be the girl too busy yelling Wait and flipping through the Zombie Rule Book to notice the zombie hovering behind me, about to eat my brain.
“Well, I’ve never even heard of the Bopper Shuffle.” I scratched my eyebrow and felt uneasy at the thought of working for a company whose core values were fun and belly laughing. “It is ludicrous that my potential pay increase should hinge upon cheesy choreography.”
“You’re just scared because you suck at dancing,” Nekesa teased, nudging my side with her elbow.
“It’s a ridiculous assessment!” I did suck at dancing—Nekesa said I was too repressed to enjoy it—but that didn’t change how absurd the assessment was.
“Nekesa?”
She and I both turned around, and a short-but-built guy with curly blond hair ran up beside her. I expected her to make a smart-ass comment because he was wearing a pinkie ring and a fake Rolex, but instead she squealed, “Oh my God—Theo!”
And she rarely squealed.
Her face lit up as she smiled at this stranger like she was genuinely happy to see him.
The dude, wearing a space suit that matched ours except for the purple R patch, smiled and said to Nekesa, “Let me guess—you’re a Protostar.”
“We both are.” She gestured to me, but neither of them actually looked at me as they started walking again and I followed. “What made you assume that?”
“Our trainer said Protostars are pretty much buzzkill know-it-alls,” he teased, “and that is like the actual description of Nekesa Tevitt.”
I opened my mouth to argue, because he’d described the opposite of Nekesa, but he added with a laugh, “Just kidding—they obviously have you on the wrong team.”
“Right?” She reached up and gathered her hair in her hands, like she was making a ponytail. “It’s the wrong team, but I’m glad because I want to be with Bailey.”
She gestured to me with her head, and once again, neither of them looked my way. She said, “I still can’t believe you’re here. When did you guys move back to Omaha?”
“Last summer. I go to Kennedy Prep.”
Ah, Kennedy Prep. So the Rolex might actually be real.
“How come I haven’t seen you at mass?” Nekesa let go of her hair, looked at me, and explained, “We used to be CCD buddies.”
I wasn’t Catholic, but a surprising number of my friends in Fairbanks had spent their elementary years going to those weekly classes at the church too. I didn’t even know what C-C-D stood for, but we’d never really been a church family either.
“We go to St. Patrick’s now.” He looked a little embarrassed and added, “It’s closer to our house.”
“Ooh—uptown,” she teased.
They shared a smile, and I wondered what their history was. CCD was way before I moved to Omaha, so I didn’t know Nekesa back then. But their vibe today felt a little flirty, which was weird because Nekesa was wildly in love with her boyfriend, Aaron.
I was probably reading it wrong.
I tuned out their catching-up chatter as I saw food approaching. I was starving but also mildly nervous about what kind of culinary offerings this place was going to have. Would an establishment whose core values were fun and belly laughing really care if their snacks were FDA approved?
“I heard there’s a hidden pub, just beyond the Galaxy of Funstaurants, that has better food than all the other places put together.”
I turned to my right, and there was Charlie. Where did he come from? I looked up at his face—damn, so tall—and was still torn between dreading the sight of him and finding a strange comfort in his presence.
It was a little unnerving, wondering when Mr. Nothing was going to show up and cancel out this Charlie. So I just said, “Really?”
He leaned in a little closer, his lips turning up into a slow smirk. “It’s designated as a kid-free zone, so they put it in a separate corridor. The DJ told the Red Giants about it in confidence, but since I’m now of the House of Proto, betrayal of the Red Giants is my duty.”
“Nekesa—did you hear that?” I nudged her with my elbow and turned to my left. “Bar food up ahead.”
Charlie muttered, “You left out the part about my dutiful bravery.”
“I know,” I replied, not looking back at him.
I heard him say “Ouch,” and it kind of made me want to laugh.
Nekesa glanced at me and then looked back at Theo. “Bar food up ahead.”
Theo shook his head. “Constellation Pizza has calzones in the shape of Saturn. Rumor has it the rings are made out of breadsticks. You cannot miss out on that, Nekesa.”
She looked back and me and Charlie. “You guys, come on. Planetary pizza? We have to do that shit.”