It swiftly dies.
Christopher steps inside, golden midday sun shining behind him, sparkling off the tips of his hair. He’s in that same long coat he wore last night over a whole damn bespoke suit. Dark blue so perfectly tailored, it looks poured down his body. Crisp white shirt. Bloodred tie. From the neck down, he looks straight off of Wall Street. From the neck up, he looks like a pirate. Sable hair a little too long and messily wavy for his fancy corporate job, his lashes absurdly thick and dark, that roguish gleam in his warm whiskey eyes.
I stare at his mouth and remember it moving with mine last night, hot and wet and hungry. I don’t want to, but I can’t stop. Until I remind myself what he said.
I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to.
“Katerina.”
I scowl at him, folding my arms across my chest. “What do you want?”
A slow smile that I think is meant to charm me tugs at the corner of his mouth. “That’s a very pretty top.”
He walks closer, examining the fabric.
“Stop deflecting with false compliments,” I tell him. “And stop ogling me.”
“The compliment was genuine, and I’m not ogling you, Katydid. I’m appreciating the print. Also trying to figure it out. I thought it was paisley, but . . .” His smile deepens. “Are those piranhas?”
“They are. Watch out. They’re not the only thing on me that bites.”
His gaze drifts to my mouth. “That’s not the threat you think it is, Kate.”
That was definitely sexual. And unlike the awkwardness of those strange women talking about pegging and feet, Christopher holding my eyes as he says that makes my whole body flush. Heat rushes up my throat and floods my cheeks.
He watches its progression and smiles his widest smile yet. All bright teeth and wide, sensual mouth.
Doing my best to ignore that I’m blushing head to toe, I ask him, “What do you want, Christopher?”
His expression sobers. It’s so reminiscent of last night, which I still can’t begin to let myself think about—what we said or that kiss. If I think about it, I might believe him, and if I believe him—that he’s sorry, that our dynamic (which I can admit I’ve played a healthy role in) got away from us, that he doesn’t hate me—I don’t know what will happen, what I’ll feel.
How badly I could get hurt if I ended up being wrong.
“Can we talk?” he asks quietly.
I arch an eyebrow. “Need I remind you what happened last time you led with that request? I’ll give you a hint. It was last night and it involved—”
“All right,” he says, that smooth facade cracking as he steps closer. “Just . . . hear me out. Right here, okay?”
“Fine.”
“I have a proposition for you,” he says. And then he immediately realizes how that came out. His eyes widen. A rare rush of pink warms his cheeks. “I—wait. Just—”
“Mm-hmm.” I shift my weight onto one hip, stony-faced.
He clears his throat. “I’m going to try that again.”
“By all means.”
“I have a business proposition. Strictly professional.”
“Does it involve me working for you?”
He smiles. “Not really. Just under my roof. My company’s.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
His smile falls. “Kate.”
“Christopher.”
“It’s business. Good business.”
“I know,” I tell him. “I’m more than a good photographer. I’m great. It would be great business for you. But you could not pay me enough to spend all day rubbing shoulders with you and your money-grubbers—”
“Who grub money for good things,” he says patiently. “Which you already know. You met Hugh. He’s a class act, isn’t he?”
Of course those two made the connection. My stomach knots. I was hoping I could pretend like I hadn’t met a sweet person who worked with Christopher, but alas.
“Everyone there is like him,” Christopher says. “Good people who care about good things. And they need updated professional photos. Everyone’s headshot is five years old. Hugh has a creepy-next-door-neighbor goatee and Nick has such a douchey hairstyle, I’m worried it’s hurting his client opportunities.”
My mouth twitches. That gleam in his eye deepens. I think, despite my best efforts to resist, I’m being a little charmed. “Nick’s hairstyle really is terrible.”
“Hey, take it easy on us Italian boys,” he says, taking on a thick accent I remember his dad using playfully when we were kids. “We got a lotta hair and no idea what to do with it.”
“Excuse me,” one of the women in the group says, raising her eyebrows at me. “Can we have some help already?”
I tear my gaze away from Christopher, then glance her way, gritting my teeth as I remind myself that being in a position of service is not demeaning, even if this group’s treating me like it is.
“Yes?” I ask.
One of the women opens her mouth, but before she can answer me, Sula strolls in from the back. “Hi, folks! How can I help you?”
She practically shoves me sideways into Christopher. “Take five, Kate,” she says warmly. “You haven’t had a break today.”
“Oh, that’s—”
“Perfect,” Christopher says, wrapping his hand around mine, dragging me toward the back of the store.
We’re halfway down the hallway when I tug my hand from his, before I can let myself enjoy the warmth and solidity of his grip. “Stop hauling me around like a bag of bagels.”
He spins, his coat swishing. “Kate, last night—”
“Please,” I whisper, trying and, I think, failing to hide how raw I feel from last night. I haven’t recovered from the whiplash when that tiny spark of hope soared through me as we kissed, then did a nosedive as he told me he regretted it, that he hadn’t meant something that meant a lot to me.
I can’t take that two days in a row.
“You’ve made yourself clear, Christopher. If you say you regret it or you’re sorry or you didn’t mean it one more time, I can promise you if you think you’ve seen a feral Kat, that’s nothing to what’s coming, so drop it.”
He stares at me, jaw tight. Then a rough, slow swallow works down his throat. “All right.”
My shoulders loosen with relief.
“So . . . will you do it?” he asks. “The company’s headshots?”
I stare up at him, still so . . . lost. Who is this man I’m seeing? Where are the biting words? The fast steps away, constantly putting distance between us? I search his eyes. “Why?”
A beat of silence, then he says, his voice quieter, “I told you, I want to fix things between us. At least . . . make them better.”
“Better?” I ask incredulously.
He rakes a hand through his hair. “I know we’ll never get along easily. But I want to find a way to at least get along. While you’re home. When we’re with friends and family. That’s what yesterday was about—the flowers, the food. And hiring you to do these photos. I thought they could be a reset, allow us to move on.”
Move on.
Two little words. Why do they sound so terrible? Why do they make me feel like I’ve been kicked when I’m already curled up on the ground?
Christopher’s eyes search mine, as if he senses how badly I’m spiraling. “Talk to me, Kate. What are you thinking?”
I don’t feel very rational right now. And I don’t know why. Because what Christopher is saying is the very thing I’ve told myself I wanted. For him not to be an asshole to me or pretend like I don’t exist. For him to smile that warm, charming smile that he smiles at everyone else. For him to fold me in like I’m just part of the group and not give me every special kind of hell for simply existing in the same space as him.
So why does it feel like my stomach is a giant knot? Why does the mere idea of Christopher treating me like everyone else make the coffee I gulped ten minutes ago crawl up my throat?
And what am I supposed to do with what he did yesterday? The flowers are explained but not the cryptic note, the unexpected kiss, or the even more unexpected words he said before he left.
As if anyone could not want you.