Then let her know that you’re open to a little friends with benefits to go along with this fake relationship. See if she bites. Her ex-boyfriend certainly isn’t holding back with his girlfriend. Then once you’ve taken things to the next level, you can show her that you want it to be something more with your actions and not your dick. But right now, your dick is your best shot at getting out of the friendship lane.
Hugh
Yeah. If you try to say you want an actual relationship right now, it might scare her off, and she won’t want to risk messing things up. One step at a time, brother. See if she wants to have a little fun, and then you can show her that you’re not leaving.
They made a good point. I’d already made it clear that I was attracted to her, but I hadn’t sold it as a real option. Sure, I’d joked about it, but I’d never presented it as something serious to consider.
I was going to take things up a notch.
Okay. I think you’re on to something.
Cage
I feel like a fucking therapist, and I should charge you for billable hours. And then I should smack you upside the head for taking this long to figure this shit out.
Hugh
What he means is… you’ve got this.
Cage
Fine. You’ve got this. And remember, I’ve still got money on this.
I turned off my phone when I heard the bathroom door open.
Game time.
sixteen
Reese
Seeing Finn with Lacey had stirred something inside me that I hadn’t felt before. Something foreign.
Sure, I hated the idea of Carl and Christy Rae Lovell. It made me physically ill, but it was different. It hurt because I felt like he’d replaced me.
Like my dream of a family and the future I’d imagined were gone, as well.
But seeing Lacey with Finn had been next level.
It was almost a feral response.
Like I wanted to storm across the room and make sure she knew that he was mine.
But he wasn’t mine. None of this was real.
I didn’t know what was happening to me. Hearing about Carl in the closet at the hospital with his girlfriend had stung. Angered me even. Because for all those years, I’d tried to get us to have a little more fun, and he’d shut me down, and then he’d experienced them with someone else.
But it wasn’t Carl I was thinking about when I closed my eyes at night.
Was I a glutton for punishment?
Fantasizing about my best friend. Knowing that it could never go anywhere.
When I came out of the bathroom, he was unbuttoning his dress shirt, and he turned to look at me, his abs and chest on full display.
Golden and sun-kissed and so freaking sexy.
I stood there gaping before pulling myself out of my daze and walking toward the bed. I did a dramatic stretch with my arms and yawned.
“I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to get some sleep.”
“Yeah, me, too.” He pushed his shirt off his shoulders and tossed it on the chair in the corner before tugging off his dress pants.
I couldn’t keep my gaze from watching as he walked toward the bathroom wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs.
I mean, it would be abnormal for me not to notice.
Inhuman, even.
The man could actually pose for an underwear ad, so how could I not look?
I heard him chuckle as he disappeared into the bathroom and the sink turned on and off. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over me.
You’re just lonely. It’s been so long since anyone has touched you. This is perfectly normal to feel these things. It doesn’t mean anything.
I could feel him moving through the bedroom, and I heard the click of the lights turning off. The room was dark, and I squeezed my eyes closed because I was fighting the urge to act on my desire.
Something we’d always agreed we’d never do.
The weight of his body had the bed moving as he slid in beside me. His warm breath tickled my cheek from his nearness. He radiated warmth, and I wanted to wrap myself around him.
“You fake sleeping, Miney?” His voice was deep and low, and there was humor there.
“Well, we’re fake dating, so it only seems natural.” I chuckled.
His thumbs moved to my eyelids, and he forced them open, which made me laugh harder.
“Why are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding,” I whispered. The light from the moon coming through the windows overlooking the city created a halo around his handsome face.
God, he was a beautiful man.
It was only right that he would never settle down. It wouldn’t be fair if only one woman got to enjoy this man for the rest of her life.
I was lucky enough to be the woman he called his best friend. So, in a way, Finn did belong to me. But not entirely. He’d never fully give himself to anyone.
He knew he’d tire of them, and he would never want to disappoint anyone. That was the kind of man he was.
“Tell me what’s going on. Why were you jealous tonight?”
“I don’t know, Chewy. I guess the lines are blurring a bit for me.” My tongue swiped out to lick my lips, as my mouth was dry because having him so close to me was torture. “Not in the way you’re thinking, so don’t panic. I know what we are. I guess I just felt possessive because we’re putting on a show and all.”
“Yeah? You sure that’s what it was?”
“What else could it be?” I asked. His fingers had moved down to my jaw, and he stroked each side in the most soothing rhythm.
“It’s okay to admit you’re attracted to me. I admitted it to you.”
“Fine. I’m attracted to you. I mean, I think every woman with a pulse is attracted to you.”
“So, what do you want to do about it?” His leg brushed against mine as we closed what little distance we had between us so our bodies were flush together.
“Well, admitting it and acting on it are two very different things. We made a pact years ago, and I think we should honor that.”
“What is it that you’re afraid of?” he asked, but he moved his thumb to press gently against my lips, holding it there for a moment so I wouldn’t answer just yet. “I already love you, and you already love me, so that’s not going to change. We aren’t strangers who might realize they love one another after crossing the line. We already do. So, we’d just be giving in to something that we both want. At least I know I do.”
God, I wanted it, too.
“What if it ruins everything? We have a little fun, and then you leave for Tokyo after the holidays, and we stage a fake breakup, and Carl and I get engaged again—it’s going to be weird between us. And I would never want to do anything to hurt what we have, because it’s everything to me.” My voice broke, and a tear slipped down my face.
I was in some sort of horndog hell. I’d never wanted anyone so badly, and I knew in my gut that it would end up destroying us.
I could survive in a world where Carl rejected me. I’d already proven that. And yes, in the end, it would hurt like hell, but I’d move on and find someone else who wanted what I wanted.
But I couldn’t survive in a world where Finn and I weren’t best friends. It would be dark and cold and lonely. And there would be no way to find another Finn Reynolds.
The loss would be too much for me.