For fuck’s sake. Maxine Brooks did not move away. I just saw her at Cottonwood Café with her boyfriend, who happens to be older than dirt. The dude is pushing ninety. Check your facts, people. I’m talking about Maxine Langley. Martha and Joe’s pig who has a weird obsession with me.
Ahhh… Didn’t that pig try to mount you a few months ago when you made a house call?
Hugh
Beggars can’t be choosers, brother.
Brinkley
Agreed. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
Cage
Georgia
I love Maxine Langley. They brought her to The Tipsy Tea last time I was there with Gracie, and they were buying her a tutu.
Cage
Yeah. She’s wearing some sort of fucking skirt. They dropped her off here for a few hours because Martha claims I’m the only person Maxine will tolerate. Apparently, I’m a fucking babysitter?
Don’t you offer to board animals at the clinic?
Cage
Maxine doesn’t like being put in closed quarters. She thinks she’s fucking human. So now this is my headache. When we put her in a crate, she squealed like someone was cutting off a fucking limb. So now she’s just walking free in my office while her parents are off doing God knows what, and I’m trying to run a business here.
Georgia
Maddox and I will come visit. I love Maxine. Did you know that she can play video games? Martha told me she plays with people all over the world, and she wears a headset.
Hugh
You can’t make this shit up. How the fuck is a pig playing video games?
Brinkley
Maybe she thinks she’ll win over Cage with her mad Madden skills?
Cage
Let’s put our attention back on the interview. You’re going to do fine, Finny. Acting like you’re in love with your best friend won’t take any real skill, because I think your fake relationship is not fake at all. There. I said it.
Well, you’ve said it many times. Doesn’t make it true just because Cage Reynolds says it. Although, I’m sure Maxine, the pig who is currently imprinting on you, would listen to anything you had to say.
Georgia
Be honest, Finny. Have you never thought about being with Reese?
Reese is in love with Carl.
Hugh
I like the way you avoided that question.
Brinkley
I noticed that, too. Maybe Reese doesn’t know you’d be willing to date for real. I mean, your track record is a big red flag for someone who likes to be in committed relationships.
I wouldn’t even know how to date for real. And I’d never risk fucking up our friendship. We made a pact years ago not to cross the line.
Cage
Well, you’re now living together. The world thinks you’re dating. You both can’t seem to stay away from one another. I’d say the pact you made in middle school could be amended.
Like a friends with benefits amendment?
Hugh
She doesn’t strike me as a girl that would go for that deal. Although, she is technically single right now.
Brinkley
That’s a risky offer. I wouldn’t go there.
Georgia
Sex can make things very complicated.
Sex doesn’t have to be complicated. I think sex is fucking fantastic. And I haven’t had any for a long time.
Brinkley
TMI
Georgia
Maybe you should try to date her instead.
You can’t date someone who is actively trying to get back together with their ex-boyfriend. She isn’t looking for a replacement. I’m just the dude making the one that she actually wants jealous.
Cage
Show her what she’s missing.
Hugh
You’re Finn fucking Reynolds!
Georgia
Hell, yes.
Cage
I can’t do this. Maxine just bit my kneecap and squealed so loud I’m certain I have permanent hearing loss. Stop being a
I hope Maxine broke skin and your kneecap falls off. I have to go. They’ll be here in five minutes.
A slew of texts came through, but I turned off my phone and slipped it into my back pocket.
“You almost done in there?” I called out to Reese, who was in my bathroom getting ready. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I loved having her here. Even if I had a chronic case of blue balls.
Reese had been working her magic on my house already. She’d found a bunch of pillows and a few throw blankets for the couch, along with sprucing up my bedroom. She’d hung curtains in the front room and dining room. There were fresh flowers in the kitchen and the family room, and her warmth was all around. She’d been online, ordering new light fixtures, which would arrive sometime next week.
“How do you feel? Are you nervous?” she asked me as she stepped out of the bathroom.
I looked up, and for a brief second, I was unable to speak, which had never happened to me. She looked fucking stunning.
Her hair was in a loose bun at the nape of her neck, with a few stray waves that had broken free, framing her pretty face. She wore a long floral dress that hugged her perfect tits and cinched at her tiny waist, and the full skirt ran down to her ankles. Her white cowboy boots peeked out at the bottom. I looked up just as her tongue swiped out and moved across her plump, pink, gloss-covered lips.
“Wow. You look gorgeous. But you can’t be licking your lips like that when they’re here.” I pushed to my feet, my eyes finding the tops of her breasts that were being pushed up by the dress.
Fuck me.
I was going to be hard as a rock the entire interview.
“What? My mouth is dry. I can’t lick my lips because you haven’t had sex in months and have a chronic erection?” Her eyes searched mine.
She really didn’t have a fucking clue just how sexy she was.
Because her pea-brained boyfriend had never let her know.
I moved toward her. My hand moved under her chin, turning her face so she was looking up at me.
“I don’t get a boner when I’m not with you. I never once got an erection on set, where half-naked women were rubbing all over my junk. So don’t go blaming my lack of control on anything other than what it is.”
“And what is it?” She narrowed her gaze, holding her chin up high, as she watched me.
“Well, for starters, your tits are teasing me the way they’re showing off in this dress.” I shrugged. “And your fucking lips are too much, Miney. It’s too much.”
“Too much? My lips? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Okay. I guess she needed me to spell it out for her. We’d always been honest with one another; this shouldn’t be any different.
“When you lick your lips, I think about them being wrapped around my cock.” I raised a brow, and she sucked in a breath, eyes wide. “And these tits of yours? Well, I think about teasing them with my tongue and my lips. Hell, I think about kissing them in the shower and all the things I’d like to do to them.”
Her chest was rising and falling quickly, and she whispered, “Oh. I’m, er, I’m sorry about that. Anything else?”
“Yeah. Since you’re asking… When you walk around the house in those tiny pink pajama shorts—the ones you wore the night you slipped your hand between your legs,” I said, trying not to laugh at the pink hue that was covering her cheeks now.
“I know the shorts you’re referencing, Chewy.”
“Well, every time you wear them, I have to go take a cold shower because all I want to do is press you up against the wall, drop to my knees, spread your legs, and taste you.”
“You need to have sex,” she whispered as she fanned her face.
I barked out a laugh. “Yeah. I do. But my girlfriend won’t cross the line with me, so I’m fucked.”
“Your fake girlfriend.”