Those words came easy for me because I knew that they were true.
Defending Finn had never been difficult for me.
He put his hands up in apology. “I’m sorry. I overstepped.”
The doorbell rang, and he excused himself and went to the door to get the food.
I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Finn.
OMG! He took me to his house. It’s all working. He definitely misses me. Love you, Chewy.
Chewy
Fuck him. He’s got some fucking nerve taking you to his house without telling me.
I chuckled and tucked my phone back into my purse when I heard him close the door.
Once he returned, he set everything up at the modern table in the dining room and lit a few candles, which shocked me. Seemed a little over the top for two people who were no longer dating, but I wasn’t complaining.
Carl was trying. That much was obvious.
I carried my wine glass into the dining room, along with his sparkling water.
“I’m on call tonight, but I’ve got someone covering for me so I could spend some time with you. I just don’t want to risk it if there’s any kind of emergency.”
I respected the hell out of how seriously he took his job.
We spent the next two hours talking about London and all that had happened while I was gone. I filled him in on my plans to start my own business and told him about the spaces I’d been looking at. He seemed genuinely happy for me, and that felt good.
“Your mom says business is going well for them,” I said as he poured me a second glass of wine.
“Yeah, they’ve been busy, but they’re managing okay. I didn’t know you’d spoken to my mom since you’d been back.”
“Yes. I gave her a call yesterday. I didn’t want things to be awkward between us now that you and I aren’t together. I’m sure I’ll be running into them. I don’t want hard feelings.”
I’d been close with Carl’s family, but they hadn’t taken me leaving any better than their son had.
“Of course, there are no hard feelings. They’ve always loved you. You know that.” His gaze locked with mine, and I saw the sadness there.
“Are they close with Christy Rae—” I said, but he cut me off.
“Let’s just call her Christy. The three names are exhausting.” He chuckled. “And I know it’s her own fault, as she’s always insisted everyone call her that. But I can’t hear it one more time.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. This was the Carl that I’d missed. He could be really funny when he wanted to be.
“I get it. So, are they close with her?”
“Not the way that they were with you, if that’s what you’re asking.” He let out a long breath. “What I have with her isn’t like what you and I shared. I miss you. I’m not going to lie. We have a history, Reese. This isn’t easy on me either. But maybe this is good for us. Maybe you were right about going to London. I shouldn’t have tried to hold you back. I own that. I wasn’t looking at things from your side. I was wrong. But maybe me dating Christy and you dating Finn is something we both needed. We’ve always only been with one another, aside from a few short breaks over the years.”
I nodded, and a lump formed in my throat. “Are you happy, Carl?”
“As happy as I can be when I’m not with the person I always thought I’d be with. But that doesn’t mean that this is forever for either of us. But I’m different with her, you know?” he said, and his voice cracked.
“Different how?”
He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re experiencing it, too. We’ve technically been broken up for a year, and I don’t know what you did when you were in London by yourself.”
“I didn’t do anything because I didn’t stop loving you, Carl. I just wanted to take a professional opportunity that had come my way. I wanted something for me to feel good about. I still wanted us to be together. But I’m guessing you’ve done plenty since I’ve been gone.” I braced myself for what he was going to tell me.
He refilled my wine glass, and his gaze locked with mine. “You and I were so young when we first met, Reese. I was your first… everything, and I think I just didn’t ever want to do anything to scare you off. Or hell, maybe I was the scared one. But my relationship with Christy is different than ours was,” he said, clearing his throat before letting out a long breath. “There’s more passion, physically, I guess. I don’t hold back with her because she’s more experienced than you were. But I don’t feel like it’s going to be a long-lasting thing, if I’m being honest, so I don’t think about every little thing when I’m with her. There are no rules. We don’t have the same emotional connection. Maybe this is what you and I needed. To experience something different.”
Oh my God.
Did he really just admit that he has good sex with his new girlfriend while our sex life was vanilla at best?
A dull ache settled in my chest.
“Wow. I did not see tonight going like this,” I said, reaching for my glass and taking a long sip, downing most of the liquid in one gulp.
“Come on, Reese. You can’t tell me you don’t agree.”
“Oh, I agree, Carl. But I was the one that always wanted to try things, and you were the one who kept throwing your medical background in my face when it came to our sex life.” I crossed my hands over my chest and leaned back in my chair.
“I just always looked at you as the woman I was going to marry. The future mother of my children. I didn’t want to tarnish that,” he said, his gaze searching mine.
“You didn’t want to tarnish our future with orgasms?” I hissed.
His eyes widened. “I’m guessing your relationship with Finn is also different. I’m assuming you’re sleeping with him?”
This was the moment of truth.
Come clean or keep the lie going.
But after hearing what he’d just shared, I wasn’t going to admit that I hadn’t had sex in over a year. Hadn’t had sex with anyone but him. That I’d waited for him while he was out having fabulous sex with Christy Rae Lovell.
If we were going to end up together, it wouldn’t be me begging him to come back. He would need to do the begging. He’s the one who ended things. He’s the one having all the good sex with someone else.
“Of course I am. He’s my boyfriend, after all. And obviously, he’s very experienced, so…” I chuckled as I reached for the bottle and filled my glass with what little was left in the bottle.
I was well on my way to drunk town, and I was going to let him know all the ways that Finn Reynolds was rocking my world.
He nodded. “I figured you were. I can’t lie, Reese. The thought of another man touching you makes me sick.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual. You jumped first, though, Carl. You can’t expect me to sit around and wait forever. And Finn and I—” I paused and looked toward the kitchen for dramatic effect. “We’re explosive together. I guess we’re both exploring new things, huh?”
His tongue swiped out to wet his lips, and I smiled because I knew the jealousy was eating him up.
“I miss you.” He shrugged. “But I guess we’ll just have to see where things go for both of us.”
My phone vibrated, and I glanced down to see a text from Finn.
Chewy
I can’t believe the dude went behind my back and took you to his house. I’m still pissed off. Miss you, Miney. It’s country night at Garrity’s. Hugh and Cage don’t want to go. You want me to wait for you? We’ll go dance our asses off?
Normally, I’d say no and stay here with Carl. But at the moment, I had a good buzz going, and the thought of dancing to some good country music with my best friend sounded a hell of a lot better than hearing about the great sex Carl was having with someone else.
Let’s do it. Heading home in five minutes.
“Well, I’m not sure where things are going for either of us in the future, aside from having lots of rocking good sex with other people,” I said. Were my words slurring? Was rocking good sex a real thing? “But my boyfriend wants to take me dancing, so I need to get home.”