“You are a liability, and I do not have the time to allow Tatianna to weave through your mind, removing the memories of this day. I am bleeding on my favorite shirt. You need work, and I’m willing to give you a generous position with an even more generous salary.” When she didn’t move, he sighed and added, “And I can assure you I have never harmed an innocent.”
“But what of my village?” she blurted out before she could think better of it. “What if I help you harm someone I know?”
“That would be very awkward for you,” he said unsympathetically.
She narrowed her eyes at him until he relented.
“I will spare the villagers from my truly murderous intents.” His tone was agreeable, but she couldn’t shake the feeling he was saying more than she was guessing.
She couldn’t believe she was actually considering it, but the thought of being able to provide for her family had her heart racing in her chest. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand was clasped in his.
She’d expected it to be cold, but it was warm, and the sensation of his fingers curling around hers was making her feel drugged. “Fine, I accept your offer. What depraved things am I going to be doing for you, Your Evilness?”
Keeping their hands clasped and their eyes locked, he let a smirk dance across his full lips. “Congratulations, Sage, from this day forward, you are my new personal assistant.” He dropped her hand and turned away to continue up the stairs, but he’d barely moved three steps before he turned back toward her dazed form. “And if you must call me anything, ‘sir’ will do just fine.”
Chapter 1
Evie
Five months later…
There were severed heads hanging from the ceiling again.
Evie sighed, waving to Marvin as she shut the heavy castle door behind her and strode across the main hall, her low heels echoing off the stone floor in tandem with her fast-beating heart.
The Villain was in a mood.
One severed head was par for the course. A regularity that Evie had grown alarmingly accustomed to in the time she had been working here. But three male heads dangled there now, their mouths open in a silent scream, like they’d left this life in abject terror. And if she looked close enough…
Ugh, one of them was missing an eyeball.
Evie scanned the floor before taking another step, hoping desperately to avoid crushing the eyeball under her heel like she had a few weeks ago when she’d ventured into the boss’s torture chamber to relay a message. The scream she’d let out then was no more than a peep, but if it happened again, she wasn’t sure she could maintain such composure. She could handle a stray finger or even a toe, but eyeballs popped when they were stuck under one’s foot, and that seemed to be the line Evie’s mind had drawn in the sand.
She sniffed, walking forward. A fair one, if anyone asked me.
But it was neither here nor there. The brand of horror she came across on the day-to-day didn’t ruffle her the way it should have. Her need for normalcy had whittled away, bit by bit, since her employment began, but she didn’t mind. “Normal” was for those who didn’t have the ability to stretch their minds past the unreachable end. It was something her mother had said throughout her childhood, and for some reason, it was the one piece of advice Evie could not ignore.
It really couldn’t be helped in any case. She was the personal assistant to The Villain, after all. She chuckled at the job title, imagining the ridiculous way the employment posting would appear in a news pamphlet.
Must be well organized.
Must enjoy working late nights and relish writing long documents.
Must be comfortable and even supportive of arson, torture, murder.
And must not scream when there is an occasional
dead body lying across your desk.
In the boss’s defense, he’d only done that last one once since she’d begun working here. After arriving at work at her usual punctual time, she’d crossed the office, immediately spying the corpse of a burly man sprawled across her desk. Slashings all over his body, chunks of flesh missing.
He’d been tortured before being killed, that much was clear, and the boss had thought to dump the man on her very organized and shiny white desk, which was set up just outside his very large, disorganized office. She’d never forget the look on his face when she walked in, saw the body, and then found him leaning against his office entryway. He just stood there, arms crossed and sharp gaze focused on her.
Ah, yes, Evie had thought. He’s testing me.
But it helped that he didn’t seem as if he were expecting her to fail.
She’d grown so alarmingly used to that look from the villagers, she’d cataloged it in her mind under things that made her want to commit acts of violence.
So instead, she’d sifted through every possible reaction that would serve her best in that moment—aka allow her to keep her job—and ultimately settled on simply being herself.
Well, herself with a mangled corpse on her desk.
She’d glanced at her boss, her chest tightening at the intense way he was staring back. It was almost like he was willing her not to fail, which made no sense at all. Maybe he had indigestion—from all the torturing this morning and whatnot.
“Good morning, sir. Would you like me to work around this gentleman? Or is this your subtle way of telling me you’d like this body moved to a more appropriate location?” she’d asked with a friendly smile on her face.
He’d just raised a brow, then shoved off the doorjamb and strode to her desk—and the body.
She’d bit back a sigh as black leather stretched over his thighs when he leaned across the desk—because he threw the body over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, not because he had very nice thighs. His eyes never left hers as he’d straightened and carried the man toward the nearest window…and promptly tossed him out.
Evie bit back her gasp, determined to prove herself. Besides, this job was still going wildly better than the last.
Taking a large gulp of air, Evie had held The Villain’s gaze, ignoring her new interest in leather attire or, more dangerously, his thighs. “Very creative disposal method, sir… Could I get you a cup of cauldron brew from Edwin?” The ogre who worked in the kitchen made batches of the brown sludge derived from magic beans every day, along with freshly made pastries. She’d never heard of the drink before, but it enhanced work productivity and seemed to put everyone in a better mood, dead bodies notwithstanding.
The Villain’s lips had tugged upward, his dark eyes dancing with mirth. He wasn’t quite smiling, but it was close enough that her heart pounded in her ears.
“Yes, Sage, you know how I take it.”
She’d not come to work to find another dead body on her desk since then, but that didn’t mean the last few months hadn’t been challenging. For the most part, The Villain tended to be gone a lot, likely villainizing the nearby townsfolk in some manner she didn’t care to dwell on. They’d made a pact of sorts that he’d not pursue his evildoings within her village—or at least she’d taken his grunt as acceptance. But still, something told her even a dead body on her desk was going to be more fun than the mood he was in today.
Because signs of excessive decapitation could only mean one thing: one of his plans had fallen through for the third time in two months.
She heaved another sigh as she approached the endless, winding staircase. Evie stared at it for a moment, wondering why there was enough magic in the walls of this place to move objects on their own and keep the temperature comfortable, but not enough to make the stairs less, well, awful. She shook her head. It would be added to the suggestion box.
Note to self: suggest a suggestion box.
As she began her daily climb, she avoided the door that appeared to her left after the first flight. The door that led to the boss’s personal rooms.
Only the gods would know what he did on his personal side of the expansive and decidedly gloomy stone structure.
Don’t think about his personal life, Evie.
Another good rule for the list she’d been adding to like clockwork since her first day there.
Stop trying to get the boss to laugh, Evie.
Don’t touch the boss’s hair, Evie.
Don’t find torture attractive, Evie.