Despite the emails in bold declaring themselves unread and stacking up in my inbox, I ignored them temporarily as I tried my sister on the phone for the third time that day. For the third time, it went to voicemail.
The pit in my stomach grew as I laid my cell on the desk and stared at it. My feelings about Allegra were so complicated, and I wondered if finally she felt the parts I never wanted her to feel. There was a place inside me that resented the fact that I’d loved her enough to sacrifice what I’d wanted to parent her in a way I’d never been parented. On the other hand, I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d left her to go off to college on the East Coast. But clearly I fucked up, anyway, because she went off the rails for a bit, and I was constantly worried it would happen again. And I resented her a little for that too. But I loved her more. The idea that she hated me for not backing her plans to drop out of college made me feel restless and hollow.
It was almost enough to distract my thoughts from North.
My phone pinged and I jolted, eagerly reaching for it as I saw a text come in from Allegra. Swiping the screen, I let out a breath.
Sorry, can’t talk now. Got class. Will call you.
The stilted tone, no x’s and o’s instead of the dozens she usually sent, didn’t make me feel any better. But what would I say to her if we actually talked? Oh, by the way, I know I decided you weren’t mature enough to drop out of college because you locked me in a room with a strange man for the night, but I just slept with that guy. Don’t you feel vindicated?
Not that I thought she should feel vindicated. What she did was still wrong. But I knew she’d be hurt and annoyed to discover her plans came to fruition, despite what she saw as punishment.
I just needed to know she was emotionally okay.
I get it. Hope classes are good. Love you xo
I waited five minutes, and she didn’t respond.
It hurt more than I liked because it made me feel used. Like I wasn’t lovable to her unless I helped her get what she wanted out of life.
Now I was just being maudlin. I tutted at myself, turning the phone over to stare at my screen. The clock on my desktop told me it was almost eight o’clock in the evening. Today had been a day. After I got home from my evening with North, I’d showered and barely slept a wink. Then I’d spent the day vacillating between worry for Allegra and daydreams about North Hunter’s heated gaze and boyish smile.
I still couldn’t believe that he’d so obliterated my thoughts with undiluted lust that I’d had sex without overthinking everything. In fact, I’d been thinking only of one thing, and that was North + orgasm = YAY.
Remembering the way he’d kneeled over me, powering into me, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t been thinking about the way I looked beneath him. When Lucas took me in that position, I always worried that my belly jiggled with his thrusts, so I always maneuvered him out of it.
Not with North.
I hadn’t cared with North.
He’d made me feel so wanted and attractive I could almost cry thinking about it now. If someone had told me a single night with that Scot could soothe wounds I’d been nursing for years, I never would have believed them. He hadn’t miraculously made me trust men, but I trusted he found me attractive. That he liked my body. And that feeling was addictive. The emails I’d usually use as an excuse not to return to my lonely beach house held no appeal. Instead, my skin flushed at the thought of sneaking upstairs to North’s room.
I hadn’t seen him today. He’d stayed away. Maybe he wouldn’t want me again, anyway.
I should go home.
But the thought of those big empty rooms, my empty bed, filled me with dread. When instead I could have North’s hands on my body, his lips … making me feel good. My pulse raced and I throbbed between my legs.
Oh, hell.
“Suck it up,” I whispered hotly to myself, trying to talk my body into calming down. “Go home, put on a TV show, and forget about him.” He was a disaster waiting to happen.
Decision made, I shut down my computer and grabbed my stuff. I couldn’t help but glance at my phone again to see if Allegra had texted back. She hadn’t. Another pang of hurt flared in my chest. There was an unread text from Mamma, but I left it unread for the night. She’d tried calling me earlier, yet I wasn’t in the mood for her today. Not exactly a pleasant thing to think about my mother, whom I loved dearly, but North had put me in a good mindset about self-esteem and I didn’t want my mother ruining it so soon.
Wakefield had finished for the day an hour ago, and the night butler was most likely hovering near the dining room where I could hear the murmur of guests having a late evening meal. I’d eaten dinner at my desk, trying to catch up on work that would have been done earlier if I hadn’t been so distracted.
The sound of my heels was muffled on the Aubusson carpets as I strolled toward the hallway that would lead me past the grand reception room and into the staff quarters. Before I could reach it, my attention caught on the staff elevator.
The one that would take me upstairs.
To North.
A deep tug in my belly took me by surprise, but I forced myself to keep heading in the opposite direction.
I was almost past the elevator when suddenly my feet changed direction.
Oh my God, what are you doing? My breathing grew shallow with excitement as I hurried to the elevator and hit the button. The doors opened and I hopped inside before I could talk myself out of it.
You’re insane. This will only end badly.
“Probably,” I muttered to myself.
But I needed another hit of whatever drug North Hunter was, and until I got it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. And being with him tonight sounded so much better than going home alone to the house.
Despite my confident decision to give into this potentially dangerous addiction, my legs trembled as I hurried off the elevator and down the hall to North’s room, hoping desperately not to bump into another member. When I reached his door, that fear stopped me from hesitating.
I knocked without overthinking it.
At the sound of his footsteps drawing near, my pulse raced and the throbbing between my legs intensified. Then the door opened, and he stood with damp hair that told me he’d just showered, jeans, bare feet, and a white T-shirt that hung perfectly on those deceptively broad shoulders.
Sex on legs.
North’s beautiful gray eyes rounded ever so slightly at my appearance.
I stated quietly, “Just sex? No strings?”
At the hesitant, wary expression on his face, I felt suddenly vulnerable.
Oh my God. He’d changed his mind.
One night had been enough.
I opened my mouth to tell him to forget about it, but the squeak of surprise that popped out cut me off as North took hold of my arm and hauled me into his room.
A while later, I felt so warm and relaxed, my limbs sunk with perfect heaviness into North’s mattress as I stared up at the ceiling and caught my breath.
Among the Heather (The Highlands, #2)
Samantha Young's books
- Blood Past
- On Dublin Street
- On Dublin Street
- Hero
- Hero
- Before Jamaica Lane (On Dublin Street, #3)
- Bis Until Fountain Bridge (On Dublin Street 01)
- Echoes of Scotland Street
- Moonlight on Nightingale Way
- Down London Road (On Dublin Street 02)
- On Dublin Street 04 Fall From India Place
- On Dublin Street
- As Dust Dances (Play On #2)
- Fight or Flight