All the Little Raindrops

Tilly raised a perfectly arched brow. Noelle knew very well what it was in response to. I guess. “Does he want to know his daughter?”

“He wants to spend some time with her. I told him he could come along tonight.”

“And then?”

Noelle let out a small laugh. “I have no idea. I’ll hear the reason why he came here. And then I guess he’ll go back to Reno, where he lives.”

“I see.” There was a short pause, and Noelle looked at Chantilly to see that she was considering her as she tapped a nail to her lips. “This dress,” she said, her gaze moving down Noelle’s body. “Are you sure it’s only to inspire confidence?”

Noelle gave her a small eye roll, knowing what Chantilly was suggesting. “Yes. I mean, firstly, he’s angry with me. Secondly, any connection we ever had is based on . . . very unhealthy things. And as if that isn’t enough, he might be with someone for all I know. It didn’t exactly come up.”

“Ring?” she asked.

Noelle let out another small laugh. This woman was ridiculous, but she was so thankful for her. Her mother had been murdered when she was still a girl, and although she’d missed her over the years, she also knew she was very lucky to have both a friend and confidante in Tilly. A mother of sorts, but also a friend who she trusted implicitly. “No ring.”

Tilly took in a breath, looking satisfied. “Tilly,” Noelle warned. “Really. It’s so much more complicated than that. Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

“Hmm,” she hummed. “Okay, well, I’d like to say one more thing if I might.” She took Noelle’s hand again, leaning forward slightly. “I’m so very, very sorry for what happened to you, my darling. But mostly, I’m proud. What you did . . . escaping . . . recovering . . . from something so deeply evil. You are the strongest person I’ve ever known. Find happiness.”

“I have found happiness.”

“Find more. Go after it with gusto in whatever way you are able. You did not crawl out of that cage to live a timid life.”





CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE


Evan saw them immediately—the feminine figure he’d know anywhere, still, even after all this time, holding the hand of the little girl. His little girl. The thought still made him dizzy. He’d spent the day attempting to organize his emotions, and he’d thought he had a handle on them, but one glance and the earthquake that had rolled under his feet when he’d first seen her was rumbling again, even if the magnitude was slightly less.

It was dark on the beach, but the moon was high and bright, and starlight was scattered across the sky. Noelle turned as he approached, and though he couldn’t quite make out her expression, he thought by the way she held her shoulders she might be nervous. Once he’d read her so well. Now . . . “Hi,” he said.

She gave him a small close-lipped smile. “Hi. How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“Good. Thank you.”

There was an awkward pause, and then they both laughed, Evan running his hand through his hair. “Let’s start again. Hey, Noelle.”

“Hey, Evan.” She stepped aside to where Callie was looking in the other direction, out toward the ocean. “Callie, honey. You remember, Evan, right?”

Callie turned, giving him that same gap-toothed smile. “We met yesterday,” she said. “Have you seen baby turtles hatch before?”

“I haven’t,” Evan said. “But it sounds pretty cool.”

“It’s very cool,” Callie said. “Just wait!”

She took his hand in hers and led him the few steps to where they had a blanket spread out on the sand. Other people had spread out blankets as well or were sitting in beach chairs. The soft murmur of conversation filled the air, muted by the sound of the waves hitting the shore and the crickets singing from the seagrass behind them. The weather was warm, but there was a breeze off the ocean, and Evan couldn’t remember experiencing a more beautiful night.

“They’re why it’s so dark down here, huh?” he asked Callie when they’d sat down, Noelle joining them and folding her legs to the side as she smoothed her dress.

“Yes,” she said, and he smiled at the way her missing tooth gave her a slight lisp. “When the babies hatch, they go toward the moon. That’s how they make it to the ocean. But if there are other bright lights, they get all confused and turned around.”

“Ah,” he said. “I’ve been confused and turned around before. I know how that feels.”

Callie giggled. “Me too. Once, Miss Tilly bought me a swirly dress, and I twirled around so many times I didn’t know where I was!”

Evan laughed. Noelle took a few water bottles from a small fabric cooler and handed one to him and one to Callie. “Miss Tilly is the owner, right? Chantilly?”

“Yes. She owns all of Sweetgrass. She’s the boss of everyone, and my second-best friend after my mommy,” Callie said.

“Ah. She must be pretty great then.”

“She is. She rides in a wheelchair, and sometimes she sits me on her lap and we go super fast down the ramps!”

“Oh, Callie.” Noelle laughed, but Evan heard the slight note of disapproval. He wondered if Noelle ever had to discipline Callie harshly. He supposed she did. Callie was a child, after all, and even the most well-behaved children were naughty on occasion. He wondered if she ever felt lonely, or overwhelmed, or wished she had a partner to pick up some slack. He wondered if she ever wished that person were him.

But she’d never even told him Callie existed. And he was trying to understand and forgive, but he was presently having some trouble with that, especially now after seeing what a sweet, funny girl his daughter was and realizing how much he’d missed.

He made a point to tune back into what Callie was chattering about. He refused to get stuck in his own head and miss one more minute of her. “Before they made laws about the lights, the turtles would end up in swimming pools or even crushed under traffic,” Callie said.

“That’s terrible.”

She nodded, turning her head and sucking in a breath. He looked in the same direction, and then he heard what must have drawn her attention. A very soft scuttling. “The nests,” Noelle said, taking Callie’s hand and standing. “They’re over there.” She pointed.

Evan stood, too, as did most of the others on the beach. He craned his neck, seeing movement on the sand.

“They’re hatching!” Callie said, and Evan’s lips tipped at the pure joy he heard in her voice.

A minute later, the first baby turtles came over the slight bank, moving in unison toward the water. Evan watched in wonder as the tiny creatures crawled over the sand, heading toward that bright orb hanging over the ocean. More followed, until it seemed that there were a hundred turtles all waddling as one. Single minded in their pursuit, doing exactly as nature intended them to do. There was something incredibly beautiful about it, and for some reason he couldn’t even explain, a lump formed in his throat, remaining there until the last little creature met the tide, disappearing beneath the water.

“Okay,” Noelle said, bending and beginning to collect their things. “Time to get you to bed, little miss.”

“I’m not tired,” Callie said, yawning.

Evan picked up the blanket, shaking it carefully so the sand didn’t blow toward any of the other people also gathering their things and leaving the beach. He folded it and handed it to Noelle, who stuffed it in her large canvas bag. “Thanks. Will you come back with us, and we can have a drink on my patio?”

“Yeah. That’d be great. Thanks.” They needed to talk. Not just about Callie, though something definitely needed to be worked out. He massaged his temple. How would visitation work? He was lost, and he still hadn’t figured out a way through any of it. He didn’t know if she might help figure something out that would give him some type of regular access to his daughter, or whether she was going to insist that they’d done fine without him thus far and be unwilling to let him play any sort of permanent role.

Would he push it?

He’d lost so much already.