I was already shaking my head before I realised. A platinum and diamond ring? I couldn’t… I couldn’t.
“It counters fae charm,” he went on in that same private voice. “I thought you could get rid of that necklace and everything it reminds you of.”
I fingered the pearls at my throat. Their weight dragged on me as though unCavendish constantly had a hand around my throat. I probably didn’t need it for the investigation anymore—Caelus knew what it looked like.
Yet, much as I wanted to get rid of it… “I can’t accept this. It’s too expensive. They’re diamonds, Bastian.”
“Are they?” He gave the ring a wide-eyed look. “Thank the Stars for that, otherwise I’d have to pay the jeweller an unpleasant visit to ask why he didn’t make what I asked for. Please, Kat. Take the ring.” He held it out. “I had it made for you, so it’s not like I can return it.”
I tugged at the necklace and swallowed. Perhaps I could throw it on the fire. I should probably sell it—it had to be worth a lot—but I’d rather watch it melt. Did pearls burn?
“I’ll… borrow it. You can have it back when I leave.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched, and I thought he was going to tell me no. But he snorted a laugh. “Whatever you need to tell yourself, Kat.” He placed the ring in my hand. “But I won’t be accepting it back.”
“We’ll see,” I muttered as I slid it onto my middle finger. “A perfect fit.”
“Of course.” His gaze flicked to the necklace. “May I?”
“Please.”
He sucked in a quick breath, and I realised what I’d said. But he circled behind me and made no comment about how much he liked that word.
The world narrowed as he gathered my hair and placed it over my shoulder. The movement ghosted over my scalp, sending goosebumps chasing down my arms.
I helped hold my hair to one side and counted my breathing, forcing it deep and slow. Bastian’s exhalation tickled behind my ear.
I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t shiver. Mustn’t. Shouldn’t. I was sure the hairs on the back of my neck gave me away, though.
His fingertips feathered over my spine, pulling the necklace tight for an instant. I straightened, taut, breath held, waiting, waiting, waiting.
With a soft click, the tightness disappeared, and he gathered up the necklace.
That terrible weight was gone. I could breathe.
“There.” The word skimmed my sensitised skin, and I must’ve forgotten about control, because I shuddered, eyelids fluttering shut.
When I opened my eyes, he stood before me, closer than he should be, holding the necklace in the scant space between us.
“You’re free.”
Free.
But, no. Not completely. Not from my husband. The fact hung in the air, thick and heavy like cheap perfume.
We stood in it a long while, inhaling that ugly truth. Maybe it was its own kind of poison and if I took in enough, it would kill off my attraction to him. It must’ve destroyed his desire for me. Probably for the best.
And yet.
Neither of us walked away, locked together by our gazes.
Not until a knock sounded at the door, and it was as though my ears popped and I could hear again.
Bastian straightened, a muscle in his jaw rippling as his fist closed around the necklace. “Enter.” It was Business Bastian who spoke, all clipped and formal.
I dragged my attention from him and took my time pulling on the second glove.
“Well, don’t you two make a gorgeous couple?” Rose surveyed us, smile wide.
“We aren’t…” I muttered.
Faolán’s gaze flicked across the small space between us.
Bastian backed away. “Right. I thought Katherine would want an escort for the party. But I see she already has company.”
“Oh, no. You don’t escape that easily.” Rose blocked the doorway.
“Faolán.” Bastian raised an eyebrow at him.
“Hmm. We’ve already discussed it, little flower.” He disentangled himself from her. “It’s best if I escort Kat.”
I should’ve expected it. I shouldn’t be hurt by it. And yet the rejection stung me.
It was sensible. All eyes would be on me. Walking in on Bastian’s arm would only make it look like there was something between us.
So I plastered on a wide smile and gave Faolán a playful bow before checking my gloves and only then placing my hand in the crook of his elbow.
Without looking at us, Bastian offered his arm to Rose, and we set off for a party in my honour.
I felt a lot of things in that moment. Honoured wasn’t one of them.
32
Bastian
With Rose on my arm, I watched Faolán escort Kat to the party and slammed every door in my mind against the memory of the last party we’d attended together. Thankfully, she wore more this time. Fine lace covered the low back of her gown, but I’d still seen how she reacted to my touch.
And I’d felt an answering call in my bones.
Our time on the road had made me weak. Giving her that ring had been foolish, filling my head with all sorts of stupid ideas. I could so easily have kissed her.
And she might’ve let me.
Somehow, despite everything, she wanted me; physically at least. The only thing worse than her not wanting me was the thought that if I asked—if I led her to a quiet corner of this party—she might let us finish what we’d started in Albion.
I wasn’t sure I was a strong enough, a good enough man to not follow through with that. But I knew I didn’t deserve to. I hadn’t earned that right—that forgiveness.
I certainly couldn’t afford to let others see how much I wanted it and her.
That left me with only one option: distance.
Chin lifted, eyelids drooping with boredom, I sauntered through the first chamber. In my nostrils, her magic was sweet and sharp, like something delicious that I’d adore right up until the moment it killed me.
Drink of all kinds and the faint woody scent of sairsa smoke surrounded us. Thank the fucking gods we didn’t have to drink arianmêl this time, or I really would have been lost.
Someone sang, sweet and slow like honey. Dozens of conversations bubbled below that, low and intimate.
No one announced us, but every pair of eyes in the room followed Kat’s path.
In different circumstances, I’d have swelled with pride to be near her in public. Part of me did—a base, instinctual part that didn’t give a shit about the past or anyone else seeing how I felt about her. All it knew was that she was mine. Mine.
That part could say whatever it liked, but it wasn’t in charge. I ignored it and kept my shadows on a tight leash.
The next chamber’s dark walls made the space feel smaller. Here, lingering touches punctuated the intimate conversations, heating the space with seductive promise. The base part of me liked the charged atmosphere, telling me it was the perfect place to bring Kat later.