The tone of his voice pinned her there, like a needle through a butterfly wing. She was filled with a vague and ominous fear, fingers curled around the handle of her purse, blood racing and heart pounding. A bodily, animal instinct was telling her: Something terrible is about to happen.
“I’m sorry,” she said. The air in the car felt extraordinarily stiff and heavy.
She had not taken her pink pill that morning, she realized.
Ianto’s gaze shifted from the road, and she had not been imagining it earlier—his once turbid eyes were now glassy and sharp. Something manic was glinting in them.
“We spoke for an hour and you never told me what I really want to know,” he said.
Effy wanted to tell him not to look at her, to keep his eyes on the road. The car was hurtling up the cliffside so quickly that her body was practically pinned to the seat.
Miserably, she managed to reply, “And what is that?”
Suddenly Ianto whipped his head around to check the road. And that was when Effy realized the car had no rearview mirror. The side mirrors were turned inward, invisible. If Ianto wanted to look behind him, he had to crane his neck backward.
How had she not noticed that before, when Wetherell was driving? Had there been mirrors then?
Her vision was beginning to blur. Not here, she begged herself. Not here, not now. She had the pink pills in her purse, but she couldn’t risk taking them out in front of Ianto. She couldn’t bear the questions he would ask about them. The hag stones in her pocket bounced jaggedly with the rhythm of the car.
“Why did you really come here?” Ianto said at last. His voice was that same low, rasping snarl. “A beautiful girl like you doesn’t need this project to pad her résumé. Any hot-blooded professor would give you highest marks in a heartbeat.”
Her panic crested like a white-capped wave, and then Effy saw him. He was sitting in the driver’s seat, where Ianto had only just been. His black hair was as slick as water. His skin was moonlight pale, and his eyes burned holes right through her, down to her blood, down to her bone. His fingers uncurled from the steering wheel and reached for her, nails long and dark and sharp as claws.
She wasn’t wearing her seat belt, so when she flung the door open, it was easy enough to hurl herself out of the car.
Eight
The Fairy King had many forms, and some looked, on the surface, identical. Some days I could not tell if the husband who came to me was the one who would kiss my eyes closed with infinite tenderness, or if he would press me down into our bed and not care that I whimpered. Those were the most difficult days. When I could not tell the kind version of him from the cruel. I wished he would be a serpent, a cloven-footed creature, a winged beast—anything but a man.
From Angharad by Emrys Myrddin, 191 AD
It took Effy an hour to reach Hiraeth, her legs numb beneath her, vision blurring and then sharpening in dizzying turns. Her hair was damp and plastered to her face, her stockings ripped to ruins. Also, she was bleeding.
Preston was standing at the top of the stairs, and when he saw her, he lurched down, taking the steps two at a time.
“Effy,” he said, breathless, when he arrived. “Where did you go?”
“Where’s Ianto?”
“He came back half an hour ago, alone.” Preston gestured toward the black car in the driveway. “I tried to ask him where you were, but he just brushed past me and locked himself in his bedroom—what happened?”
Effy coughed, trying to find her voice. Her lip was split and felt puffy, painful.
“I got them,” she said at last. “The blueprints.”
Preston looked at her as if she’d grown scales and fins. “No, I mean what happened to you? You’re covered in blood and—well, dirt.”
“The road is dirty,” Effy said. She wasn’t quite lucid enough to feel embarrassed.
Preston led her up the stairs and into the house. Ianto was still nowhere to be seen—a small miracle—but Wetherell glowered at them from the threshold to the kitchen. He looked as dour as ever, skin washed gray in the watery light.
The stairs to the second floor were more difficult. Effy leaned heavily on the railing as Preston watched her with a tight mouth, shoulders tensed as if he expected her to topple over at any moment.
The portrait of the Fairy King looked fuzzy and kaleidoscopic, the paint colors swirling into an unreadable blur. His face was a pale smudge, featureless.
Maybe this was her punishment for betraying Myrddin, for planning to trample all over his legacy. She choked out something that was almost a sob, too low for Preston to hear.
The Fairy King had never appeared to her in the daylight before.
When they reached the study, it took all of Effy’s strength not to collapse. There was a bright, staccato beat of pain behind her temples. She looked around at all the papers scattered on the desk, the splayed-open books, and the battered chaise longue and felt, for some reason, a quiet thrum of relief.
“Effy,” Preston said again, his voice grave. “What did you do?”
“I jumped out of Ianto’s car,” she replied.
Hearing herself say it out loud made the fog dissipate. She was suddenly aware of how mad she sounded. How mad she had been. She raised a hand to her mouth and felt her swollen lip, wincing.
Preston looked despairing. “How did the blueprints factor into that? I didn’t think your mission would require such daring heroics.”
“There was nothing heroic about it,” Effy said. She was flushing profusely. “I wish there had been. Ianto had already given me the blueprints. I just—I couldn’t stand to be in the car with him any longer.”
That was all she could bear to tell him. What would Preston say if she confessed what she had seen—if she had really even seen it at all? It would be no different than it had ever been, with her mother and her grandparents, with the doctor, with the teachers and priests.
At best Preston would blink at her bemusedly, certain she was making some sort of joke. More likely he would scoff and secretly regret that he had tethered his academic future to some mad girl who needed pills to tell what was real and what wasn’t.
Surely there was no worse ally than Effy in a quest to uncover objective truth.
But all Preston did was shake his head. “And he just left you there? Looking like—like this?”
As Effy had watched Ianto’s taillights vanish in the distance, all she’d felt was relief. She’d been afraid he would pull over and drag her back inside. The vision of the Fairy King, his wet black hair and his horrible, reaching hand, was still playing on the inside of her eyelids.
“I don’t blame him,” she said, voice hollow. “It was a stupid thing to do.”
Preston let out a long breath. “I really didn’t think he’d try to take you out of the house. I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?”
He blinked, glasses slipping down his nose. “I’m not sure.”
If she’d been in a more coherent state of mind, hearing Preston admit to uncertainty would have pleased her. At last there was something, however trivial, that he didn’t know.
Effy finally had the courage to look down at herself. Her white sweater was damp and smeared with mud. She couldn’t see it, but she could feel her elbow throbbing under her sleeve, blood sticking to the woolen fibers. And though her skirt had emerged relatively unscathed, her hip ached.
Her stockings had suffered the worst: torn beyond repair, both of her knees scraped bloody and stinging enough to make her gasp. Flecks of dirt and tiny pebbles were caught in the mangle of her skin like flies trapped on flypaper. Her nose hurt and she was glad she couldn’t see her face.
There had been no mirrors in Ianto’s car. She was sure of that. In fact, ever since she had arrived in Hiraeth, she had not seen her own reflection once. She could not even see herself in the mirror of Ianto’s cloudy, roiling gaze.
“Here,” Effy said weakly, thrusting her purse at Preston. “I have the blueprints.”
Preston took her purse and set it down on his desk. He didn’t open it or even peer inside. “Effy, why don’t you sit?”
“Why?” A bolt of panic shot up her spine. “I don’t want to.”