I retched, heaving acid into the muck. My throat burned with smoke and bile. Grae spat into the mud, hacking up the smoke from his lungs.
“We killed them,” I wheezed, my words deep and scratchy. I felt the heavy cloak of shame, the inky dark of my choices, and I knew if I leaned into it just the slightest bit more, dark magic would be there staring back at me. I’d led those Wolves into that trap—a gruesome, painfully horrible trap—to save my friends, my kingdom, and myself . . . but I knew only the thinnest seam separated me from the darkness. A part of me thought to move toward it, to gain what it offered if it meant saving more of those I loved, but then Grae was near me, checking me for wounds, and that was all I needed to push away from the darkness, allowing myself to feel the punishing grief of my decision.
“Holy fucking Gods,” Hector said, collapsing into the mud beside us and burying his head in his hands. “I think we’ve just started a war.”
Thirty-Four
We gathered around the kitchen table, pulling up extra stools and crates to sit on. My body felt numb, weightless, as we stared vacantly at each other. The horror of what had just happened whispered across our expressions.
Mina passed Hector a glass of water, then signed, “Are you okay?”
“I don’t think any of us will ever be okay with what just happened.” Ora handed me a wet cloth and fell into the empty seat beside me. “But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t necessary.”
“If you shift?” Navin dabbed ointment on Sadie’s busted lip. “You’ll heal, right?”
“Yes.” She grimaced, swatting his hand away and snatching the vial. “At least faster than you.”
“Why don’t you all shift now?” Ora’s frown deepened, each person looking worse than the last.
“Four Wolves in a moving wagon?” Grae pulled his hair back into a high knot. “That would be a very bad idea.”
Malou had braved the storm to keep us rolling out of town. Others would go investigate the fire, and when they found the bodies, rumors would spread.
“We never saw the Silver Wolves,” I said, making eye contact with each of the group. Each shuddering breath burned down my throat. “They were attacked by Rooks. We played no part in it.”
They all nodded in wary agreement. I scrubbed the wet cloth over my face and neck, pulling myself out of shock and back into my body. The sounds of those fists pounding against that burning door would haunt me forever. I’d led them to their deaths, and it was somehow so much worse than stabbing them in a fair fight . . .
“The secrets of Galen den’ Mora stay with her,” Ora murmured, lifting a trembling mug of tea to their lips.
“I never thought I’d see the day when Wolves risked their tails for humans,” Navin said, bowing his head to Grae and me. “Thank you for saving me.”
“It should have always been that way.” I scrubbed the dirt from my knuckles. “Wolves swore to protect humans. I’m sorry that got lost somewhere along the way.”
Sadie threaded her arm through Navin’s. A strange, dumbfounding feeling settled in my gut. Our expressions oscillated between terror and giddiness. We’d saved them and we’d survived.
“We shouldn’t be sitting in wet clothes on your chairs,” I said, feeling the damp fabric on my seat.
“You almost died!” Ora exclaimed. “I’m just glad you’re safe. You could smell like a wet dog for all I care.” They sucked in a sharp breath, placing a hand on my forearm. “I’m so sorry. Is that offensive?”
I snorted. “We do smell like wet dogs. It’s fine.” I pursed my lips. “I appreciate you taking us in.”
“Who exactly are you?” Mina asked, toeing my boot from under the table to get my attention. “These three are Silver Wolves . . . but who are you?”
I glanced at Grae and he bobbed his chin, a silent conversation passing between us. They’d helped us so many times. We could trust them.
“My name is Calla Marriel,” I said, and the humans gasped, and though it was clear they probably didn’t need the last part, I finished, “I’m a Gold Wolf, twin of the Crimson Princess.”
“Another Marriel child?” Ora gulped. “How?”
“It was my mother’s dying secret,” I said. “A faery granted her dying wish to protect us until Briar’s wedding day.” Grae threaded his fingers through mine. “King Nero said it would be safer to keep me a secret as well, one less target for Sawyn, but now we know he just wanted one less Marriel standing in his way of claiming Olmdere for himself.”
“That’s awful,” Ora said.
“You have no idea,” Hector replied, leaning his head back and staring up at the canvas ceiling.
“So you’re going to challenge Sawyn for your family’s throne?” Navin asked.
“First, we need to rescue my sister’s mate, Maez. We need to find a way of getting Briar out of Damrienn, too. Every day we leave her there is a threat.” I squeezed Grae’s hand. “She’s King Nero’s last bargaining chip, and I know he will use it however he can.”
Ora fiddled with their golden rings. “So, what’s our plan?”
“We will leave you at the first town in Olmdere,” I said. “I don’t want to drag you into this anymore than I already have.”
“You didn’t hear me correctly. What is our plan. Does it look like we’re being dragged?” Ora huffed. “We want to help you.”
“Sawyn destroyed my family.” We all turned to Navin’s rasping voice. His right eye had swollen shut, purpling all the way up to his temple. His ear was so swollen with fluid it had completely lost its shape and I wondered if he could hear out of it. “I want to help.”
“I’m sorry for what happened to your homeland.” I swallowed, looking into his one open bronze eye. “I don’t know that my parents treated your family any better . . . and I’m sorry.”
“I don’t quite remember myself, but that’s irrelevant. What matters is what you plan to do going forward.” Navin pursed his swollen lips. “Olmdere needs a ruler to lead us out of this darkness. I’d rather it be you than her. And if I can help, I will.”
My gut clenched. It wasn’t exactly a roaring endorsement, but it was more than I’d expect.
“I can see the guilt of your ancestor’s actions running through you,” Navin said. “If you dedicate your reign to righting their wrongs, then the people will follow you, too.”
Sadie leaned her head into his shoulder.
“I think I will need some human advisers to keep me in line, should you like the position?”
Sadie’s eyes widened at me as Navin kissed the top of her head, a rare smile appearing on her face.
“I’ll think about it,” he said.
“Hear, hear,” Ora said, raising their mug and pausing. “We’re going to need some stronger drinks.”
We all chuckled. I glanced around the muddied and bruised group. We’d narrowly escaped the jaws of death and even more battles lay ahead.
“Good. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight,” I said. “Tomorrow we’ll be in Olmdere.”
“What are we going to do about that?” Hector tapped his finger on the wanted poster sitting in the center of the table. “These were all over town. I’d imagine the Rooks at the border will have them, too.”