“I won’t ever leave you like that,” I promised. “Wherever we are going in this life, Grae, we will go there together. You and me. Always. And I will tear the throat out of anyone who tries to take me from you.” My voice dropped into a lethal snarl. “I am stronger than your fears. And if I ever step foot in Damrienn again, I’ll make damn sure the King knows he can’t use me to hurt you. His words and actions will never declaw me. I’ll always bite back.”
His eyes welled and he nodded. Leaning back, he scooped me up from where I knelt before him and pulled me onto his lap. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck, holding him as he wrung out his sorrow. I wished I could undo all that had been done, but at least I could assure him it would never happen again. I wouldn’t go quietly out of this life. I’d fight with every ounce of my being. For Grae, for Briar, for Galen den’ Mora, but most of all, for me. No more hiding in the shadows. I would burn brilliantly for however long I had.
“Thank the Gods,” he murmured, dusting the snow off my knees. “You are a fearsome creature, little fox, and I’m so grateful for it. I don’t know how we’re going to rescue Maez or deal with my father or defeat Sawyn, but from now on, we figure it out together. No more running off”—he gave me a knowing look—“and no more hiding away. However long we have, we will spend it together.”
I brushed a soft kiss to his cold lips and murmured against his mouth, “The moon knew we needed each other, better than I ever understood, and now I know I was meant to be yours just as you were meant to be mine.”
Those claiming words felt greater than any vow, and as Grae’s lips met mine, I felt that promise fulfilled deep in my soul. It felt just like the moonlight bursting from the center of my chest. It cracked me open, all the raw parts of me opening up as we deepened our kiss. Everything felt suddenly greater—the depths of my sorrows, the highs of my joy, and the loudest note that sang through the chorus of emotions was that of belonging. I’d deny it no longer. I belonged with him, now and forever.
Twenty-Eight
We strolled back through Taigoska as new people. Grae’s warm arm enveloped my shoulders, his cloak a blanket at my back, and my hand wrapped around his waist. I still felt raw from his confessions in the forest. I’d thought I knew him, but his life had been harder than I’d ever known. But that’s because we had been apart.
No more.
We ambled through the human quarter, through twisting roads and colorful shops, until we spotted a familiar figure.
Sadie stared into a storefront window with a look of trepidation on her face. As we neared, I spotted the sign proclaiming the shop a “boutique”—little bottles and palettes of rouge displayed in the window.
“What is she—”
“I’m going to talk to her,” I whispered to Grae, silencing him. “I’ll meet you back at the wagon?”
He darted a wary look to Sadie and back to me. “I’ll be with her—I’ll be fine.” Grae relented. He kissed the top of my head and released his arm from around my shoulders.
“I’ll see you soon,” he said. He took one step away from me, and I grabbed his elbow, making him halt. I lifted onto my toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips. With a satisfied hum, he opened his eyes and smiled down at me.
“Be safe, little fox,” he murmured and carried on down the road.
I watched him walking away, my heart fluttering like the hem of his cloak. I stood beside Sadie, staring into the shop window. She eyed the delicate golden necklaces and baskets of kohl, and I knew she was thinking of her date with Navin that evening.
“Have you come to lecture me, too?” Sadie muttered in her usual bitter tone. “Do you think I’m a fool for disobeying pack rules?”
“I don’t.” Her hooded eyes found my reflection in the glass. “We were taught to never question the rules. And now that we’re here in Taigoska, disobeying one, it feels like we’re ready to question them all.”
“I always felt proud to be a Silver Wolf.” Sadie folded her arms. “I knew we had our problems—King Nero, the worst of them—but it still felt right. Loyalty. Honor.” She bunched up her shoulders as a flurry of snow blustered down the street. “Now, it all feels wrong.”
“I wonder sometimes how I never questioned it all before. I suppose I did in the back of my mind, but . . .” I looked up at the curling cursive letters above the door. “That’s a human thing—questioning it all. It’s not what Wolves are supposed to do.”
The bell to the storefront jingled and a human walked out, carrying a pastel bag in her hand. She gave us a sideways look and darted across the street.
Sadie huffed, watching the human rush away from us. Even without knowing we were Wolves, I’m sure we looked intimidating in our dark clothes with our sharp features and predatory stillness.
“We don’t fit in with the humans, but don’t want to fit in with the Wolves, either,” she groused.
“Why are you here, Sadie?” I turned to her. “Why this shop?”
“I don’t know,” she hissed, scowling at the baskets of perfumed oils. “I wanted to look pretty or something for my dinner with Navin.”
I smirked at her and her scowl deepened. “Pretty or something?”
“Whatever,” she mumbled.
“I’m not making fun of you,” I quickly corrected. “I’m commiserating. Gods, I think I understand better than anyone.”
Sadie glanced at me. “You do?”
“I understood how I was meant to look, who I was meant to be, but deciding for myself is . . .”
“Scary,” Sadie whispered, looking back into the window.
“Two Wolves scared to enter a boutique.” A giggle escaped my lips at the ridiculousness of the situation.
Sadie grinned. “More comfortable with daggers than rouge.”
“To be clear, you don’t need any of this, Sadie, if you don’t want it.” I waved at the window. “Navin only has eyes for you, just as you are.”
“I know,” she said. “But it’s frightening to think about.”
“What?”
“Who would I be if I could be anything?” She pinned me with a look and my eyes began to well, even as I laughed at it all.
“I think I understand that better than anyone.”
Her brows pinched together as she looked at my smile and tears. “You okay?”
“If Briar were here, I’d know how to dress. But if I could be anything? I wouldn’t just be the forgotten Gold Wolf or Briar’s twin or even Grae’s mate.” The thoughts were still spinning within me and I was too afraid to pin them down or make sense of them.
Sadie hummed in agreement, as if she could make sense of all the words that I couldn’t. “In a pack, we are told exactly where we rank and what that means for us: how we can act, who we can love, how much we can dream for. Before now we only existed as one part of a bigger beast,” she said. “But now as individuals . . .” She blew out a long breath.
“They’d have never allowed it,” I said. “We were all just pawns in Nero’s own game.”
“If we defeat Sawyn, it won’t matter what anyone else says,” Sadie said with fierce confidence. “You can claim that kingdom and make your own rules if we win.”
“We?”