The sounds of the forest normally soothed me, but even in my Wolf form I couldn’t escape the white-hot dread in my chest. I wondered how disappointed Grae was. He had planned for Briar and now he was stuck with me. My paws chewed up the earth as I dashed up the mountainside. What was I going to do? The second I stepped foot back into that castle, King Nero would tell everyone who I was . . . and then he’d force his son to marry me. I’d spend a lifetime being called “the wrong sister,” “an embarrassing mate,” and I’d have to simper and smile as Grae toyed with my feelings, pretending to care for me one moment and acting against me the next.
I groaned, a rasping howl toward the sky, pushing my muscles harder until I reached a clearing. I breached the trees and collapsed into the tall meadow grasses. In my grief, I shifted back into my human form and buried my head in my hands. Salty tears dropped through my fingertips as the rough grass swayed around my naked body. I looked up to the bright night sky and cursed the moon.
I was prepared to be a shadow in Damrienn, my only focus on saving Olmdere. I was prepared to stand by, bite my tongue, and suffer the sight of them together, all for Olmdere. Now, if I ever returned to that castle, I might never even see Olmdere. The second I returned, they’d trap me in a marriage that would justify King Nero’s lust for gold and I’d be even less than a shadow. Briar easily replaced with me.
I thought of the map in Nero’s office. Beyond the snowy summits of Taigos in the distance, my kingdom called to me. It was tempting, yet my shoulders trembled against the chill. I probably wouldn’t survive a trek over those jagged peaks.
I couldn’t run and I couldn’t stay.
The hours passed on and my tears didn’t ebb. I sat crumpled, paralyzed by my lack of options, each one more heartbreaking than the last. This wasn’t what my life was meant to be.
A twig snapped behind me and I whirled.
Briar stood in her wedding gown, the white fabric glowing in the darkness. She offered out a bundle in her hands, a simple brown tunic, and said, “I found your clothes in the forest and figured you’d need some new ones.” She marched over and crouched beside me. “Are you okay?”
“How could I possibly be okay?” I gritted out, snatching the tunic from her and bunching the fabric in my hands. “What even happened back there?”
“Maez became my fated mate,” Briar said, a secret smile pulling on her lips. “And Grae became yours.”
My voice wobbled. “How did this happen?”
“Our parents were fated mates, too. We are both a product of that true love. Perhaps it’s in our blood.” Briar shrugged as if what she was saying wasn’t world changing. As if what she was saying wasn’t impossible. There was nothing in any story that remotely alluded to something like this happening. Yet here she was, practically shrugging it off as she sat back on her heels. “Maybe it’s part of our destinies. Maybe that’s why I found Maez so . . . distracting.”
My sister seemed so light in that moment, joyful even. I felt none of it.
“And I got stuck with a liar,” I snarled, picking a stalk of golden grass and twisting it in my fingers. “Who is probably also mourning the fact he got stuck with me.”
Briar snorted. “If you think he feels that way, you’re even more of a fool than me.”
I glared at my sister. “How can he not?” I waved a hand over my bare figure. “I’m a runt compared to you.”
“That’s not true.” Briar leaned her shoulder into me. “Look, Grae made me promise not to tell you this, but he should have known that I would, anyway.”
“Tell me what?”
“That night, when I said we talked?” Briar looked sideways at me. “He told me he was sorry and that our marriage could only ever be a symbol of our alliance, that we could only live as friends and nothing more, but that I couldn’t tell anyone, especially not King Nero.”
“He said that?” My heart leapt into my throat. “Why?”
“Because he was in love with someone else,” she whispered, her smile widening. “It’s you, obviously, if that wasn’t clear.” My mouth fell open and Briar chuckled at my disbelief. “I wonder if he knew you were fated mates. I think he may have suspected for a long time.”
“Oh. My . . . ” I groaned, burying my face in my hands again. “He knew. He knew?”
My mind flashed back to those moments when he had tried to talk to me. He had said he needed to tell me something, but things kept getting in the way. And then in his father’s office, he’d seemed upset about a potential marriage to Tadei. He said he felt protective of me, but . . .
I clenched a hand to my stomach. “I think I’m going to throw up.”
“Why?”
“Because he loves me.”
Briar laughed as she stroked a soothing hand down my cold skin. “Put this on,” she insisted, nudging the woolen tunic squashed in my hands. “It’s colder in the mountains than in Allesdale.”
I begrudgingly pulled it over my head. It must’ve been a servant’s tunic she nicked from the wash line. The fabric drowned me and itched against my skin, but it eased the chill. “He lied about everything, Briar, all of it.” My voice wobbled again. “The King never intended to reveal who I was. He never wanted to help save Olmdere.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” she said, which did surprise me. She went on. “Grae is not the same as his father,” Briar said. “You know that. And one day he’ll be king.”
“He didn’t say anything to stop him—”
“His father’s the pack leader and a king!” Briar’s exasperated breath swept across the grasses, making them sway. “You think Grae can just openly disagree with him? The pack would tear out his throat for one ill-spoken word. The King might order you to stay, but if you wanted to ride to Olmdere tomorrow, do you think Grae would really stop you? Our Grae?”
“He isn’t our anything,” I snapped.
“No,” Briar whispered. “He’s your mate, Calla. He is your everything, as you are his. Your lives are tied together now. I don’t think he would deny you anything.”
“I don’t care,” I hissed. “He lied to me. I walked into that office like a fool and one word from him could’ve prepared me. If he was on our side, he would’ve told us as much.”
My chest clenched again.
Briar brushed her hand in circles down my back. “He didn’t say anything at all?”
“Not in the King’s office,” I said. “He followed me afterward . . .”
“And?”
“And I put a knife to his throat.”
Briar doubled over, cackling. “Of course you did.”
“It’s not funny,” I growled.
“It’s a little funny,” she wheezed, trying to stop the giggles by pressing her lips together. She wiped her eyes. “Oh, Goddess, I love you. Maybe he would’ve explained himself better if you weren’t trying to slit his throat.”
A laugh bubbled up from my chest. The sound of my twin’s cackles was infectious. Like two mischievous children, we chuckled there in the tall grasses. Briar always had a way of replacing my tears with laughter. I’d given her plenty of occasions to hone that skill.
“You’re right. I should probably have a conversation with Grae without my weapons.” I sighed.
“That’s probably a good idea.” She smiled warmly, plucking a weed from between the meadow grasses. “He’s your mate now. Killing him would end your life, too. You need a better plan.”
“You’re not mad?” I held my sister’s pale blue eyes. “You planned your whole life to be a queen. I’m taking that from you.”
“I never wanted to be a queen.”