“But we did,” Huxley says. “We told you this would happen.”
“Okay, great, wonderful, you two are modern-day matchmakers. Congratulations. Now, can we please move on?”
“Glad you can be big enough to acknowledge that,” JP says.
“How does this pertain to work and fucking up?” Huxley asks.
“I can’t be around her anymore. I need reasons I can’t help with the planning of her wedding.”
“So you’re just going to crush her like that?” JP asks. “Dude, that’s not cool.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?” I ask. “I just told her if she was mine, I’d never let her go. I would fuck her every chance I had.”
“Whoa, what?” Huxley says.
“Uh, dude, that’s a bit extreme for not even admitting your feelings. How? Did you just announce that you’d fuck her out of the blue?”
“No.” I drag my hand over my face. “We were talking about the honeymoon phase, and I mentioned how I wouldn’t let her out of my sight but quickly changed it to my girl. But then, after that, she tells me that she and Brian barely have sex because he’s tired, and I just fucking lost it. All I could think about was how this lucky son of a bitch was taking advantage of her and how he didn’t deserve her, and I told her that if she was mine, we’d be fucking all the time, so yeah . . . there you have it. I need to not be around her anymore, and if I could return to work, that would be great. Thank you.”
“You can’t come back to work yet,” Huxley says. “Not until Taylor says it’s clear.”
“So what am I supposed to do? Keep being her man of honor when clearly all I want is her?”
“You could do some next-level shit and jeopardize her wedding so she doesn’t get married at all,” JP says.
“Don’t listen to him,” Huxley cuts in. “That’s a terrible fucking idea. Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”
“Please,” I scoff. “We all know how that goes. I tell her how I feel, she doesn’t feel the same way. She ends up patting me on the shoulder, and then we don’t talk anymore.”
“Where are you getting your evidence from? Movies and TV shows?”
“Of course, where else?” I ask as I pull into the parking lot of the trailhead.
“Probably not your best source of reality,” JP says. “I think Huxley is right. You tell her, and if she doesn’t feel the same way, at least you know, and you can move on.”
“What about that Birdy girl? Can’t you move on with her?” Huxley asks.
“I’m about to tell her I can’t see her anymore because I like someone else, and I don’t want to lead her on. Also, I’ve kissed her twice now and felt nothing, and I think it’s because I want Lia and only Lia.”
“That much is obvious,” JP says.
I press my fingers into my brow and say, “So what should I do?”
“We already told you what to do,” Huxley says. “Tell Lia how you feel. If you don’t, you’re going to regret it.”
“But she’s on this mission now to do things before she gets married. What am I supposed to do about that?”
“Well, if you think she might not feel the same way about you, then help her understand how you’re a better match for her than Brian,” JP says.
“Yeah, I agree,” Huxley chimes in.
“How do I go about doing that?”
“Be everything Brian is not,” JP says. “Without crossing the line, obviously, you can’t go fuck her and be like, see, I fuck you, and Brian doesn’t.”
That actually makes me chuckle. “I would never do that, but I get what you’re saying.” I lean my head against the headrest and ask, “Do you really think it could work?”
“Never know until you try,” Huxley says.
“And I just want to state for the record one more time about how right we were about this.”
“Shut the fuck up,” I say, causing them both to laugh. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” Huxley says. “You just hate that we’re always right.”
“Yeah, that too. Okay, Birdy is here for our hike. Got to go.”
“Be gentle with her,” JP says.
“No, I thought I would kick dirt at her and tell her to get lost.”
“Not recommended,” Huxley adds right before I say bye and end the call.
I look out the window where Birdy steps out of her white SUV wearing a matching set of maroon biking shorts and sports bra. And from where I’m sitting, I can see a small bird pattern on them.
Fuck.
I squeeze my eyes shut again.
I don’t want to make her feel bad.
But I’m going to. There’s no way around it. She definitely thinks we’re about to have a fun birdwatching hike. How do I tell her otherwise?
Grumbling to myself, I get out of my car just as Birdy steps up.
“Hey, you,” she says in a cheery voice just as her hand lands on my chest, and she stands on her toes to press a kiss to my jaw. “How are you?”
Fucking awful.
“Good.” I tack on a smile. “Uh, I like your outfit, very themed for birdwatching.”
“I told you it was good.” She beams up at me, and I realize I must tell her now. I can’t go on this hike and pretend everything is fine and then tell her after. That would be brutal. She must sense my uneasiness because she asks, “Is everything okay?”
I pull on my hair and shake my head. “No.”
“Oh, what’s going on?”
“Come talk with me,” I say as I take her hand in mine and lead her around to the back of my SUV and open the trunk. I take a seat, and she does the same. “I’ve been a fucking idiot, Birdy, and I dragged you into my idiocy.”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
I look up at her and say, “I like someone else, and I thought that maybe if I just ignored it, I wouldn’t think about it. But it’s become more and more clear that I like this person, and I don’t want to lead you on.”
“Oh,” she says, looking down at her hands and making me feel like the absolute shithead that I am. “I’m guessing it’s Lia, isn’t it?”
I could deny it, but what’s the point in lying?
“Yeah,” I say softly. “Like I said, it’s really fucked up, and I can’t pretend the feelings aren’t there while I try to date you at the same time. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“I appreciate that,” she says softly and then asks, “Does she know?”
“No,” I say quickly. “Not even a clue.”
“Are you going to go for it?” When her eyes connect with mine, I realize at that moment who I’m talking to, who set me up with her. Brian. Fuck.
“Uh . . . no,” I answer, but the lie even sounds stupid to my ears.
“I won’t say anything,” she says. “I don’t care for Brian all that much. I think he’s a tool, and honestly, I think Lia could do better. I don’t know what she sees in him.”
“Me either,” I say softly.
“You should go for it,” Birdy says. “You two have such a strong connection.”