“I’m not, but I do aimlessly scroll on Tik Tok. The algorithm has decided I like to watch baking videos. And secretly . . . I do.”
“It probably decided that because you watch the video in its entirety instead of swiping up. This knowledge is on you.”
She cutely raises her hand. “Guilty. But I don’t watch for the education. I watch because I have a problem.”
“I can see that. You know, this makes me think of you differently.” I joke around as I stir in the yellow dye while she does the orange.
“I completely understand. If you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”
“You know, leaving would be the right thing to do in order to teach you a lesson, but I think I’ll be the bigger man and stay.”
She smirks. “Don’t act like you’re staying for me. You’re just staying for the pussy cakes.”
I laugh out loud again. This time, it disrupts the class enough for me to have to apologize and then turn back to Birdy, my cheeks flushed.
“Thank you for coming tonight, it meant a lot to Callie,” Birdy says as we reach her white SUV.
“You know, I think I will say this once and only once because I don’t want to give off the wrong impression about my likes and dislikes for baking, but I had fun.”
She clutches her chest as she leans against her car. “Please, spare my feelings from the lies.”
“I did,” I say, moving in closer. “I had a lot of fun hanging out with you. Wasn’t as awkward as the double date.”
She reaches out and plays with the hem of my shirt. “Yeah, double dates are always a treat, especially when one half of it is a blind date.”
I set the box of extra cupcakes on top of her car and move in closer so she has to tilt her head back to look up at me. “So are we still on for a hike and birdwatching? I didn’t deter you with the way I took down three cupcakes in one sitting?”
Her lips tilt up. “No, watching you munch on those pussies actually made me want to hang out even more.”
I chuckle. “You know, you could have shown this sense of humor on the double date.”
“Oh my God, I would not be caught dead saying anything like that in front of Brian. He’s so . . . stuck up, and my brother is just the same. Whenever I’m around Brian, I know I have to keep it together. Act posh.”
“Why would you want to act like someone else, not be your true you?”
“Easier that way. I’d rather spend a few hours with my pinky up, acting fancy, than answering to my brother why I said pussy in front of Brian.”
I push a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I can see not wanting to get into it with your brother. I often have that thought cross my mind. But even with a filter, my brothers and I seem to get into it somehow.”
“Same.” She sighs. “But to answer your question, yes, I still want to go hiking with you. And maybe, you know, if you have availability for dinner or something this week, I could be free.” She winces and says, “That sounds so pathetic like I don’t have a life, but who am I kidding? I don’t do much other than work out and go to work, so . . . if you are free, I’m pretty sure I would be too.”
“Not pathetic,” I say as I stare down at her lips, this overwhelming urge pulsing through me to kiss her. “Honest, and I like that.” I lift my finger under her chin and hold my breath as I wait for her to signal that this is okay. That I can kiss her. She wets her lips and tugs on my shirt, indicating she wants this just as much as I do.
I lean down, bring my nose close to hers, and pause for a moment, giving her a second to be ready before I press my lips lightly against hers. It’s a feather of a kiss, nothing too intense, nothing open-mouthed. Just sweet.
Just enough to curb that urge.
Just enough to get a taste of her.
When I pull away, she smiles up at me, her eyes glimmering under the city lamps.
“I’ll call you,” I say as I pull away and grab the cupcake box. I stick one hand in my pocket and watch as she opens her car door.
“I’m holding you to that.” She steps into her car and then shuts the door. I take another step back, and while I watch her drive away, I let out a deep breath as I replay the kiss in my head.
It was good.
Sweet.
Yet, why didn’t I feel anything?
Lia runs her fingers along a bouquet of hydrangeas while The Beave corners the florist about arrangement options. “So are you going to just ignore the fact that you went on a baking date and not tell me anything about it?”
I shrug as I pick up a pink hydrangea and put it up against Lia’s perfectly freckled face. “Nothing to really say. It wasn’t really baking, as it was frosting cupcakes.”
“And . . .” Lia asks, trying to get me to talk, but . . . I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk about it.
“And I brought cupcakes home,” I answer and put the flower back in its pot.
“Uh-huh, so you’re telling me that’s all that happened? Nothing else?”
“I mean, we talked and laughed, and she was pretty fucking funny. But yeah, that was it.”
“Did you kiss her good night?” Lia asks, her voice dropping an octave.
I pause because this feels weird. I don’t know why this feels weird. Things with Lia never feel weird, but talking about Birdy does.
“Um, from your pause, I’m going to assume that’s a yes.” She lightly pushes at my shoulder. “Breaker, why aren’t you telling me what happened?”
“Because,” I say, turning away from her.
“Because why?” she asks.
“Just because.”
She moves around me so I’m forced to look in her eyes. “That’s not an answer. You tell me everything, so why are you being weird about this?”
“I don’t know,” I say while exhaling and pushing my hand through my hair. “Probably because it feels weird. Okay? This whole dating thing feels weird. And I don’t know how to handle it.”
“Well, not talking to me doesn’t help. We tell each other everything.”
“I know.” I dip my head back and look at the sky for a moment. “Fuck, Lia, I kissed her last night because I really wanted to.” I look her in the eyes now. “All night, she made me laugh, and she’s beautiful, and at one point, she sucked on her finger, and it made me fucking sweat.” Lia smirks. “So when it came to saying good night, I wanted to kiss her, and I did.” I tug on my hair. “And it was good. Sweet. Not too intense, just perfect. But I . . . I felt nothing.”
“Nothing?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No, there was no spark, no desire to push her up against the SUV and further the kiss. It was just sweet.” I shake my head again. “I think there’s something wrong with me. This is why I don’t date because I never feel anything for anyone. Never. It’s always just . . . average. And Birdy is not the type of girl I take home for the night and not see again. She’s the dating type.”
“Are you two done conversing over there?” The Beave calls out while snapping her fingers. “I have important things to discuss.”
Lia turns toward me and says, “This conversation isn’t over. You hear me?”