A Fire in the Flesh (Flesh and Fire, #3)

“It’s…it’s not that.” I hated him. Gods, I hated him. “I’m just nervous.”

He raised a brow. “About what, so’lis?”

“About what you expect from me. We have yet to get to know each other—”

“I only wish to sleep beside you, as we did last time.” The eather slowed in his eyes. “The virtue you cared little for when it came to my nephew and whomever else is safe with me.”

The implication of his words stung my cheeks.

And he knew it.

Saw it.

Because that tainted smile returned. “Unlike them, I am a gentleman.”

A laugh crawled up my throat. A very unwise one, but I didn’t get a chance to let it free.

“But do not think it doesn’t anger me that you were not as faithful as I, spreading those lovely thighs for whoever caught your eye,” he said. “It does. But I have chosen to forgive such missteps. You have no memory of who you were or what you meant to me.”

Okay.

There was a whole lot of what the fuck? in what he’d just said, but my mind skipped over the chauvinistic insults and latched on to one thing he’d said. “What do you mean you’ve been…faithful?”

“There has been no one since you.”

My mouth opened, but I had a hard time finding the right word, let alone processing what he’d just said.

Kolis chuckled. “The disbelief in your expression is endearing. I didn’t say I was a virgin, only that I have been with no other since I met you.”

If Kolis hadn’t been with anyone since he’d met Sotoria, which was a really long time ago, far more than just two hundred years, he might as well be a virgin.

Honestly, my shock had nothing to do with the virginity bit. Ash had been one when we met. Granted, the length of life he’d lived so far was not even a drop in the bucket compared to Kolis.

What stunned me was how deeply his obsession with Sotoria ran for him to stay faithful to someone he’d literally scared to death and then traumatized.

Was that what Veses had meant when she’d said she would rather see Kolis alone than with Sotoria? Because she knew that he’d truly been faithful?

Good.

Fucking.

Gods.

He and Veses were meant for each other.

“You should be honored to know this,” Kolis remarked, a hard edge creeping into his voice. “I would’ve been honored if I had learned you had remained chaste.”

Blinking, I snapped out of my stupor with a rush of anger. Ash’s response to my lack of chaste behavior couldn’t be any more different than Kolis’s.

“Have my words insulted you?” he asked. “I have only spoken the truth.”

“No, they have not.” And that was true. His words meant very little to me beyond the sting of initial disbelief and the anger his chauvinistic opinions generated.

Not saying another word, I went to the bed and lay down, my back to him.

A couple of moments of silence passed. “Do you normally sleep this way?” he asked. “On your side?”

“Yes.”

“On that side?”

I could sleep on either side, but I did favor my right. That was how I’d slept with Ash. With Kolis? I didn’t want to look at him, and I wanted my dominant hand free, just in case. I didn’t have to be concerned about that with Ash, not even before I realized I didn’t need to worry.

The bed shifted behind me, and I closed my eyes, bracing myself.

Kolis’s arm came around me. Another moment passed, and then his chest touched my back. His legs curled against mine, and I lay there, no longer focused on finding Ash in my dreams again. Instead, I fantasized about all the many, varied, and bloody ways I would hurt both Veses and Kolis before I died.

The problem was, those fantasies were difficult to make clear. It was unlikely I would accomplish both things before then because I…

I was on borrowed time that was quickly running out.





CHAPTER THIRTY





I stood in front of the vanity, staring at the pinkish-red streaking the clusters of foam.

My gums were bleeding.

Hand shaking, I reached for the cup and rinsed my mouth, then used the rest of the water to wash away the evidence of what Phanos had warned would happen. Whatever the ceeren had done for me was wearing off.

Either it was bound to happen, or there were other reasons. The injury sustained when I tried to escape? How long I’d slept afterwards? Using the embers? Kolis feeding on me? Regardless, I was once more barreling toward my Ascension.

I numbly pushed away from the vanity and changed into the first gown I retrieved from one of the chests, giving up on searching for a somewhat decent one.

As I walked to the table and picked up my glass, I eyed the platter of sugared fruits the Chosen had left after all the other plates were cleared. My appetite still hadn’t returned. I couldn’t recall my hunger being affected before, but Kolis’s recent punishment had likely played a role in what I knew was true, as did worrying about what Veses was up to. I was further along in my Ascension now, and all the other symptoms made sense. The headaches. The tiredness. I just hadn’t wanted to connect them because it meant time was running out.

I would go through my Ascension, and I wouldn’t survive. Sotoria would be lost, and the embers…

There would be no hope for the mortal realm.

Surprisingly, my mind didn’t linger there—on the most serious of the consequences. I didn’t even think about Ash. My thoughts went to the Ascended.

If I started to die and was still here with Kolis, he would take the embers and attempt to Ascend me.

I drifted closer to the bars, thinking about what Delfai had said: that the embers had melded with me. I’d have to be entirely drained for someone to remove them. My heart would stop. According to Kolis, the Ascended never died like the Revenants did. I’d forgotten that in my initial panic upon hearing Kolis’s plans.

There was some relief in remembering that. At least I wouldn’t come back as a being swept up in bloodlust.

Hopefully.

Because there was so much I didn’t know. Like what Kolis had shared about the Ancients, or the fact that Kolis’s blood could give life—I thought about Callum. Well, it sort of could. Even if there was only a sliver of a chance that Kolis could somehow pull off what he planned, it was a chance.

I took a sip, swallowing water that tasted like mixed fruit today. About to refill the glass, I heard the sound of footsteps. A moment later, I felt the embers pulsing in my chest.

Focusing on my breathing, I emptied my thoughts and became no one as I stepped back from the bars.

Kolis entered the chamber alone, his white linen pants hanging loosely from his hips, but I could see the shoulders of the men standing guard in the hall.

“So’lis,” he greeted with a warm, breezy smile. “You look lovely today.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my tone matching his. At least two days had passed since Veses visited me. I hadn’t seen Kolis at all yesterday, not until whatever constituted night here fell, and he showed yet again to demand that I sleep beside him.

He’d held me even tighter last night than the one before.

I had no idea where he’d been in the meantime or if Veses had gotten to him.