A Fire in the Flesh (Flesh and Fire, #3)

Was he closer?

I hadn’t heard him move, but it felt as if he were. And as he stared, his features lost some of that softness, turning thinner, starker. My unease grew at the clear change that had occurred upon my smile. Tiny goose bumps spread across my flesh. The embers stirred, but something else moved restlessly in my chest near them. It was an awareness, one that warned me I was not safe being alone with him.

I started to recognize the look in his eyes. I’d seen it in Ash before—a predatory need—but it didn’t even remotely evoke the same response coming from Kolis. My body didn’t flush hot with desire. I turned cold to the very core.

Fuck. I shouldn’t have smiled at him— Wait, what was I thinking? I shouldn’t have smiled? I had only fucking smiled at the Primal. That was all. It was not an invitation, and I wasn’t ready. I was nowhere near the blank canvas I needed to be.

You will never be ready for that, a voice whispered, causing me to jerk, and my pulse to stutter. Had that…had that been Sotoria’s thought? Could she actually talk to me? Or was I losing my mind? The latter was likely, and I really needed to pull it together because I needed to figure a way out of this.

Despite believing that Kolis wanted more than to just share a bed with me yesterday, I wasn’t ready for what I saw in his stare now.

It was different than what I’d seen the day before. It was fiery. Alive. More potent. He’d needed me to be Sotoria. Now, he fully believed that I was her, and that changed things.

I stood suddenly, mouth drying. Kolis showed no reaction to me moving. “I am feeling quite tired.”

“I have spent centuries waiting for you.” He spoke as if I hadn’t, and the almost guttural sound of his voice sent chills down my spine.

“That’s a long time,” I began, struggling to keep the creeping panic from my voice. “But—” I gasped.

Kolis was suddenly in front of me, causing me to take a step in retreat and battle the natural urge to force him to back off. “I have filled similar spaces with countless imitations of you.”

I cringed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to recreate what I felt for you,” he said, taking my glass from my numb fingers. “But I was lonely.”

He’d really misunderstood my reaction to that statement.

His eyes closed. “I have been so damn lonely, so’lis.”

My muscles cramped with the effort it took to hold myself still instead of using my years of training on him. “And I’m sorry for that.”

Kolis pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around my stiff body so tightly that I felt his heart pounding against my chest. I had no idea what he’d done with my glass. “Not as sorry as I have been,” he murmured, cupping the back of my head.

Arms pinned to my sides, my fingers splayed. “Kolis—”

“You don’t have to worry about Kyn or anyone ever again. I have you now.” His head dropped to mine, and he inhaled deeply.

My eyes widened. Was he fucking smelling me again? I attempted to gain some space, as the horrid gown was no barrier, but his hold was immoveable.

“I need you,” he whispered.

All the muscles in my body went rigid. And, dear gods, revolting images flashed in my mind, threatening to flood the waning emptiness I’d crafted inside myself.

“I just need to hold you.” Kolis shuddered.

I blinked.

Okay, once again, that wasn’t where my horrified mind had gone, but I wasn’t sure if it was any better. I didn’t want to be held by him.

Either I hadn’t given him an answer in a timely enough manner, or he simply didn’t wait, because he was suddenly sitting on the edge of the bed, and I was in his lap, my godsdamn feet dangling in the air.

His hand tangled in my hair as he continued to breathe me in. He was still shaking, and my entire being was in the midst of a frozen rebellion, barely able to force a wisp of air into my lungs. Inside me, near the embers, a scream built. One only I could hear.

I struggled to stay calm and searched for a way to take his mind off me. “Will you release Nyktos now?”

He pressed his forehead against mine. “What?” he asked with a laugh that sounded uncertain.

My heart thudded heavily. “We made a deal,” I reminded him. “You promised to release him if—”

“I know what I promised,” he cut in, his voice changing, becoming thinner. “I cannot believe you would bring him up as I hold you.”

I suddenly became aware of how still Kolis had gone, and how hot his body had become.

“That you would even speak his name.” He drew back, and I saw then that his flesh…fuck, it had thinned. There was no golden aura of eather, and I saw the faint gleam of bone beneath his skin. Considering the last time I’d seen something like this, it wasn’t a good sign.

My fight-or-flight response kicked in. I jerked back as far as I could. Our gazes locked. It was just for a heartbeat or two, his eyes pools of golden-flecked eather.

Then he struck like a pit viper, sinking his fangs into my throat.





CHAPTER NINETEEN





A jolt coursed through my entire being. The sudden shock of agony ramped up the screams coming from within. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move as my gaze swung upward.

But I welcomed the pain, held on to it tightly as his mouth moved against my throat. My hands spasmed and then fisted. I stared at the gleaming gold bars, the searing fire coursing through my veins like a thousand knives pricking my flesh. Darkness crept into the edges of my vision— The embers pulsed wildly, pressing against my skin. The shadows crowding my eyes vanished in a flash of silver. I sucked in a whimper as Kolis’s head shifted. His fangs eased their brutal hold on my throat, and the agony…oh, gods, the pain was fading. No. No. No. My chest rose with a too-short breath as unwelcome warmth crept into my veins.

No. No. No.

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t. My nails dug into my palms, the little sparks of pain lost in a grotesque, twisting pulse as he sucked on the wound.

I didn’t want this.

The…the screaming had stopped. I felt the presence in my chest go quiet, while the embers pulsed and flared, responding to my disgust, whirling fury, and rising desperation to stop this.

The essence swelled, pressing against my skin, and the near-instinctual drive to tap into it began to take hold. My skin started to hum as the cage and chamber became drenched in silver—

No.

Fighting the instinct to tap into the embers, I willed them to calm. I had to. My heart thudded. If I used them against Kolis, it would anger him, and Ash…he was still imprisoned. I couldn’t risk him. I wouldn’t. He was too important. I could deal with this, just as he had when Veses came to him to feed.

Focusing on my breathing, the essence calmed, though my heart thundered. I desperately tried to pull together the tattered remains of the veil of nothingness that used to be like a second skin to me. I could do this. I could deal with this. I’d spent years preparing for something like this.