We rode in silence as my vision gradually returned. First, sunlight appeared around the edges, and then blurry shapes began to take form. I let out a shuddering breath.
“I’d thought it was fear that would help you unlock your power,” Lorian said eventually. I wished he wouldn’t murmur in my ear like that. It was far too intimate. Not to mention, my head was pounding.
“It wasn’t, though, was it?” he asked when I didn’t reply. “It was anger. The reason you were flaming out at the end was because you allowed the fear in.”
I considered that, but my brain was still foggy, my thoughts distant. When I’d let myself channel my fury, my power had been easy to grasp. But the longer I’d held time, the more my mind had focused on what would happen if I failed. If I lost hold of that thread and we were caught.
“You’re saying I should use my rage?”
Mama had always said I needed to control my anger. That focusing on the way the gods had messed with my life would only make that life harder.
“I’m saying your emotions may help you find your power, but they won’t help you keep it. You need to dig deeper. Follow the thread into the center of that power and memorize it, until you can pull it free with just a thought.”
I considered that as we rode for the rest of the day. The notion that I’d be able to reach for my power that easily was thrilling. The possibility burrowed into my mind and stayed there, as I imagined myself freezing time easily, without a thought.
The mercenaries had left the main road at the first opportunity, and we were once more traveling through the forest. Around me, a thousand shades of green and brown blurred together.
Despite the danger, a dull pride wormed its way through my chest. We’d escaped certain death in that town. I had done that. If I could do that, I could get us through the city gates. And from there, I could find a way to free Asinia.
Asinia.
When Papa died, I’d lain next to him for hours. When his body was taken away, I’d crawled into my bed and stayed there for days, unable to move. Asinia lay with me, her arms wrapped around me. She didn’t say a word, just let me know she was there. When I cried, it was in her arms. When my stomach growled, she made me eat.
The hole inside me—the one that had been created when I’d fled my village, when I’d left my family behind…
That hole had deepened with the realization that my mother was dead. And now, knowing Asinia would die on Gods Day—all because of me…
That hole turned into an abyss that could never be filled.
Gods Day happened on the full moon closest to the anniversary of the first Taking. If you were unlucky enough to be arrested just days after the prison was emptied, you’d have an entire year to rot in the king’s dungeon and picture yourself burning.
The next full moon was just days away. The full moon after that… I had a little over a month to come up with a way to free Asinia before she was burned.
“I’m sorry about your friend,” Lorian rumbled behind me. He said it as if she were already dead, and I tensed.
“She’s going to be okay.”
He went silent, his disbelief evident.
That was fine. He didn’t know Asinia. And he also didn’t know me. I barely knew me. But I knew there was no way I was allowing Asinia to be burned alive. Even if it meant the gods punished us both when we died.
Finally, Lorian found a clearing that pleased him, and we stopped for the day. The mercenaries seemed to realize I needed to think, because they let me sit in silence.
I’d used my power today. For longer than I could’ve imagined. Lorian had said it was like a muscle that needed to be trained. In that case, I would train every day, as often as I could. Because with that power, I had a chance I could save Asinia’s life.
Eventually, I got up to wash. Marth and Lorian were sitting by the river.
“Why didn’t we take the back gate?” Marth complained.
My gaze snapped to Lorian’s. I let him see just how badly I wanted to hurt him.
Marth seemed to realize he’d said something he shouldn’t have, because he winced, glancing away.
“You knew another way out of that village?” My voice was hoarse.
Lorian gave me an indolent shrug. “You weren’t progressing with your power. I hope you remember how it felt, because we’re going to practice all night until you can be trusted tomorrow.”
One moment, I was standing, staring at him, and the next, I was flying through the air.
He blinked, but my hands were already wrapped around his throat. I’d launched myself at him, and he just sighed, prying my fingers off him.
“Save it for your training with Galon,” he said disinterestedly.
I’d thought I hated the king’s assessors. I hadn’t known what hate was.
Rythos hauled me away. “There now. Probably better not to annoy Lorian when he’s in this mood.” He petted me on the shoulder, and I shrugged him off. Yet another thing these men had lied about. How often did they need to prove they couldn’t be trusted before I finally understood it?
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You knew too, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t know all of his plan until I was caught up in it.”
I just watched him silently until he sighed. “He may have asked me to play up my fear for you.”
“You have magic,” I got out. “You could have befriended those guards, and they would have allowed us out of the town.”
For the first time, fury burned in Rythos’s eyes. “Once, I could have. Once, I could have charmed the entire town into doing my bidding. Now?” He let out a bitter laugh.
Lorian’s warning snarl cut through the air. I wasn’t surprised. He was determined to keep me as ignorant as possible.
“Keep your secrets.” I gave Lorian my best bored look. “Tomorrow, we’ll be done with each other.”
His eyes narrowed on my face. With a stiff nod, he turned and stalked away.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I practiced stopping time for most of the night. Even after the others had gone to bed, I continued to practice, stopping and starting Marth’s snores until my own eyelids grew too heavy to keep open.
I was the first to wake, a chill shuddering through me that had nothing to do with the cold morning. My stomach spiraled, and I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest.
“It’s going to be okay,” a gruff voice said.
Lorian’s eyes met mine. His eyes were still a little hazy with sleep, his jaw dark with stubble. And his hair was ruffled in a way that made me drop my gaze.
“You don’t know that.”
“You get to believe anything you want. Why would you choose to believe you will fail?”
“It seems so simple when you put it that way.”
He stretched, and I got to my knees, pulling Galon’s cloak tighter around me. Soon, we would be separated—likely forever. At some points in our journey, I’d longed for this day more than anything else. Now that it was here, I didn’t know how to feel.
I took a deep breath. “You said once I mastered my power, you’d tell me why I still have it. Why people like me are hunted.”
Lorian cocked his eyebrow in a way that told me in no way had I mastered my power.