“Liar.”
Carson shrugs. “Wanna see?”
Before I can answer, he lifts the television remote and clicks on the set, revealing a black-and-white shot of Griff at the side entrance we used. Filmed from only a few feet above him, the image clearly shows his face just before the screen goes black.
“Ta-da!” Carson’s smile makes me want to vomit.
Or maybe it’s just the image of Griff—time-stamped—on the television screen as Carson plays the silent clip again and again and again.
I flick my eyes away, only that’s no good either because now I’m staring at the real Griff, just a dozen steps away in the kitchen, waiting for me to return.
“You know, I think it actually works out better this way.” Carson pauses the video, taps two fingers against his chin. “He has skills. Granted, they’re not as good as yours, but he has so much to lose.”
He does. SCAD. Art. His whole future.
Carson studies me. “I could make him inform for me—think about how he can be seen around the station. More convenient than using you. Everyone will just think he’s visiting his cousin.”
“His cousin will never let you do this.”
“His cousin’s afraid of me. And if Griff doesn’t do what I want?” Carson gives me a one-shouldered shrug. “Well, I’ll just use that footage to introduce him to the world as a burgeoning criminal and terrorist—breaking and entering, intent to do harm, trespassing charges for starters. It’s certainly enough evidence for a search warrant. I wonder what else we’d find if we searched his house? Think he’s as careful as you are about hiding your nasty little computer habits?”
No. He’s never had to be. Griff’s one of the good guys. Always has been.
Carson settles into his couch, remote control in one hand, jump drive in the other. “If I play it right, I can make sure he does a nice bit of jail time as a domestic terrorist.”
“I will take you apart if you touch him. So help me I will pull your world down.” Strong words for someone whose knees are pushing toward the floor. I need something better here and all I can think of is how Carson has Griff. He’s almost eighteen. He’ll be tried and convicted as an adult and it’ll follow him forever. The future he wants will never happen.
All because of me.
All because he was trying to protect me.
“You go after him,” I say. “And I’ll . . . I’ll . . .” Go public? Can’t, I would hurt Bren and Lily. “Do not underestimate me, Carson. I will use that virus. You won’t be able to explain your way around it. It will destroy you.”
The detective’s smile evaporates. “I bet it would. Even with me out of the picture, it still wouldn’t help him. I turn in that video, you activate that virus. Doesn’t matter. Griff’ll still be prosecuted. Think that fancy art school will want him with a record?”
“No.” The word emerges soft and round and nothing like me. When Griff was picturing his life, it was never like this.
And it’s my fault.
Carson’s staring at me with the smile usually reserved for newspaper columnists and mothers with babies. “So congrats, Wick, you outsmarted me. You’re free. Too bad I’m just going to use him instead.”
“Please don’t.”
“Then offer me something better.”
How? If I offer myself, Carson will accept and Griff will go free . . . and then I’ll still be working for Carson after I told Griff I was done.
He won’t forgive me.
I listen for the shuffle of Griff’s sneakers in the kitchen, but there’s nothing, and when I sneak a glance, I realize Griff’s not moving because he’s watching me. His eyes meet mine and he smiles. I have to force myself not to wince.
Can I give myself back to Carson to save him? Without a single doubt.
It would destroy us. I know it would and that’s what’s so scary because I would still do it. In less than a heartbeat.
I can’t decide if that admission makes me cold.
Or maybe I’m just pathetic because, if I lose Griff, I have no idea how I’m supposed to live with that.
“Nothing? No offers?” Carson tucks his arm behind his head, slouching down as he starts running the video over and over again. “Then we’re done, trash. You’re free. Also? If I find out you told him about the tape before I do, I’ll go public with it, understand?”
Another threat. Pointless really. If I tell Griff about the tape, he’ll want to steal it and I’ll want to help and Carson will be expecting us. Whatever we did would only make things worse.
It almost makes me want to laugh. Carson owns me more now than he did before.
“Don’t touch him,” I say. “Leave Griff alone and you can have me. I’ll work for you, but you have to promise never to touch him.”
Carson looks up, eyes alight. I’ve just given him exactly what he wanted. Now he just has to give me what I want.