“It’s a summons,” Vlad spat.
I raised my eyebrows. “A summons?”
Nina bit her bottom lip and looked apologetic. “I did tell you if you kept up with those stupid ascots, the fashion police would eventually catch up with you.”
Vlad snarled and threw the box at my feet. “It’s a summons from Kale. She’s suing me.”
“For what?”
Nina leaned forward and grabbed the box, pulling out a thick stack of papers and blinking. “Apparently for everything in the world. You’ve encroached on her right to liberty and happiness. Ooh, you’ve caused her pain and suffering, emotional distress—” She blanched, her marble skin going a sallow shade. “I don’t even want to know where the damage to her soft tissue is.” She held up a silencing finger before Vlad could answer. “Or what part of you may have damaged it.”
“Who the hell would take the case of an eighteen-year-old jilted witch?”
Nina dropped a single page in my lap, the fancy heading in an expensive-looking raised font.
“Steve Elpher, attorney at law.”
My eye started to do that twitching thing again.
I startled to giggle. Tiny little waves first that grew to maniacal ones. Vlad whirled and glared at me. The murderous look in his dark eyes should have—usually did—chill me right down to my beating heart, but just served to bring on another gale of unstoppable giggles.
“You think this is funny?”
All I could do was nod, point, and laugh harder when I started to snort and tears rolled down my cheeks.
A hint of a smile played on Nina’s heart-shaped lips. “It’s not that funny, Soph.”
I shook my head, trying to catch my breath. “I know. I have no idea what’s so funny.”
“I think she’s lost it.”
Vlad snarled. “I’m not sure she’s ever had it.”
I flapped at the air, then used the heel of my hand to swipe at my tears. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But Steve? As an attorney? Twenty-four hours ago he was a janitor. And you’re being sued. Sued! And as usual, I’m in the middle of an investigation and I’ve got diddly-squat.”
Nina leaned back suspiciously, her eyes narrowing. “And you find that hilarious.”
I stopped laughing. “No.” I sniffed, scratched ChaCha behind the ears. “I think I just needed to let a little crazy out.”
“So what are you going to do about the whole Alex/Will thing?”
Vlad looked desperate enough to self-combust. “Are we on that again?”
I sat up straight on the couch and ChaCha whimpered, moved from her soft spot. “No, no. I’m fine. I’m dedicating my life to serving the people of this great city.”
“And your lady bits? Serving the people, too?” Nina asked smugly.
I rolled my eyes at Nina. “You’re gross.”
“You’re crazy.”
Vlad’s nostrils flared. “You’re both idiots.”
“And you’re being sued by a teen witch,” I said with a dagger glare.
As if on cue, there was a sharp knock on the door, then Lorraine’s voice wafting through. “Sophie? It’s Lorraine and Kale.”
Vlad’s eyes seemed to swallow his whole face. “Did you do that? Did you make her come here?” he hiss-whispered.
“Sorry, Vlad,” I said, crossing the living room. “I don’t have that kind of power. You’ve got three seconds to decide what to do with yourself before Kale decides it for you.”
His nostrils flared and I could see him press his jaws together, the tips of his razor-like fangs slicing in front of his lips. I had my hand on the doorknob and he whirled around, silently disappearing into Nina’s closet-slash-bedroom. She rolled her eyes.
“Teenagers.”
I snatched open the door just as Lorraine started to pound again. “Sorry. Thanks so much for coming, though.”
Lorraine placed a Tupperware sandwich keeper topped with a floppy red bow in my hands and wordlessly pushed through the door, Kale in tow. Both ladies were loaded down with carpetbag-style luggage and serious expressions.
“I hope you like that,” Lorraine said, edging her chin toward my new sandwich storage. “It’s from the spring line. Now let’s get busy.”
She set to work clearing everything off the dining room table while Kale stood back, her eyes searching the apartment, finding, landing—and staying—on Nina’s closed bedroom door. Nina popped directly into Kale’s line of sight.
“Can I get you ladies something? Water, tea, eye of newt?”
Lorraine shot her a slightly annoyed look. Kale pressed her satchel to her chest and took a step toward Nina. Nina held up a hand, stop-sign style.
“He’s not here.”