“ChaCha,” I supplied with a smug smile.
“ChaCha. Excellent. Well, despite your obviously ironclad protection system”—again Alex’s eyes scanned my crime-busting paraphernalia: the bubble gum–scented, unloaded gun, the three-pound Chihuahua-terrier mix in her pink leatherette collar—“I think you should have this.” Alex produced a hard-sided black plastic case, just a bit smaller than a shoebox. He slid it across the table to me.
I popped the lock on the plastic box and opened it, staring at the device inside, encased in its own red velveteen–molded casing. I took the black-handled device out, and frowned. “You want me to shave Ophelia’s legs?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “It’s a stun gun, not an electric razor.” He cocked his head, taking the gun from my hands. “Although I can see where it does look a little bit like that.”
He used his index finger to depress the side trigger and the two metal tines shared a hairline-thin electric blue charge. I involuntarily jumped as the jolt of electricity crackled in his hands.
“That would definitely give you a close shave.”
“Do you know how to use one of these?”
The electric current crackled again and my saliva went metallic. Little pinpricks of cold sweat budded on my upper lips and palms and I felt myself go stiff. “I’ve had one used on me.”
Alex squeezed my hand softly. “Even more reason why you need to be prepared.”
I took the stun gun from Alex and felt its weight in my hand.
“Flip the trigger,” Alex suggested.
I licked my lips and slid my finger over the trigger button without depressing it. “I think I’ve got the picture.”
Alex reached into his pocket and produced two extra cartridges. “Don’t keep these in the freezer, okay?”
I nodded and Alex took the stun gun from me and slipped it into the smaller carrying case in the box, then handed the whole thing to me. “And for the love of God, this time, if something or someone comes after you, use the stun gun on them.” He raised one brow. “And that doesn’t mean throw it at them.”
I nodded curtly and slipped the gun case closer toward me. “Noted.”
Alex grinned. “Good.”
I crossed my arms and glowered. “I still don’t see why I need all this. Shouldn’t I be okay if I’ve got you around?” I waggled my eyebrows in an effort to look suggestive and adorable. “Like my guardian angel?”
The muscle in Alex’s jaw jumped and I watched his lips purse, nostrils flare. I don’t think Alex got either my suggestive or adorable vibe.
“Don’t you see, Lawson? That’s just it. I’m not always going to be around to protect you. I wanted to stick around here today to look in on you, but the department has me working on a case today out in Hunter’s Point.”
My heart swelled as I considered Alex’s sweet, protective side—but then the nag of anger overlooked it when I thought about Alex’s need to “look in” on me as though I were a charge he was babysitting.
“I’m fine, Alex.”
Alex ignored me, seemed to be lost in his own thought. His eyes were focused on the table as he mumbled, “You can’t ... you can’t just depend on me all the time.”
I was taken aback. “Oh. Right. You mean because you’re a fallen angel. And you guys are inherently unreliable.”
“I mean because I won’t always be here.”
I swallowed thickly. “You want to go home.”
Alex looked at the ground. “That’s what this is about. That’s what this has always been about.”
“You want to find the Vessel so you’ll be restored.”
Alex nodded but avoided my gaze.
“So it’s never been about us. Or me.” I could feel the tears starting, but I refused to let them flow, refused to let Alex know that I had, once again, stupidly fallen in love. “It’s always just been about you finding the Vessel.”
“No, Lawson, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You may not have meant it that way, but that’s exactly what it is, right?”
Alex opened his mouth and then closed it, dumbly, still avoiding my gaze. Instead he stood up, plucked his keys from the table where he had left them, and pressed the black plastic Taser box toward me. “Promise me you’ll be safe, okay?”
I sat at the table, staring at the plastic box until I heard Alex walk out the front door, clicking it shut behind him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and slid the Taser box into my purse, then brushed all thoughts of Alex and the Vessel aside. ChaCha stood up in her little dog bed and yawned mightily, and then trotted over to me, her toenails making a comforting tap-tap sound on the linoleum. I scooped her up and nuzzled her.
“You’re not going anywhere, are you, ChaCha?”
She licked my face agreeably and I smiled, handing her a dog bone and feeling an immediate sense of prideful dog ownership. “Let’s go for a walk!”
Chapter Eleven