Now, as she looked at the bike, she fully realized the effort he’d put into restoring it to its former glory . . . and how cool it looked. Could she do something so amazing? Could Josh? Maybe that was why he’d teased: because, in a funny way, he’d been jealous.
Caitlin had laughed along with Josh’s jokes at Jeremy’s expense because it seemed unfaithful to side with her boyfriend’s little brother. But now she realized how immature that had been. Jeremy was a person—a seemingly interesting person. She’d known him for years now, and she was just realizing that. It struck her as the same, blindsided way she’d dealt with Taylor—not really seeing him, understanding him, until it was too late.
“Can I wear your helmet?” she asked.
“I insist.” Jeremy’s eyes shone as he handed it to her. It was warm from his wearing it moments before. It smelled of some sort of hair product.
Jeremy stuffed her gear into a canvas saddlebag, then straddled the bike. Caitlin climbed on behind him, his torso warm against hers as she slid her arms around his waist. His shirt smelled like wood smoke and fir trees, as though he’d taken a long nature walk. She’d never noticed that about him.
“Hold on,” Jeremy instructed.
They swooped out of Caitlin’s subdivision and onto a wooded, undeveloped road. The watery sunlight filtered down through the treetops, making everything greenish-gold below. Caitlin felt like they were flying.
“This is amazing,” she admitted when they slowed for a traffic light.
“Right?” Jeremy glanced at her and grinned. “Riding is my favorite thing in the world. You know what I’d love to do someday? Take a trip across the country. Like Jack Kerouac in On the Road. Meet all kinds of crazy people. Have adventures.”
“I read that, too,” Caitlin said with appreciation. “But, um, wasn’t Kerouac in a car?”
“Eh, close enough.” Jeremy shrugged. “Don’t you think that would be fun?”
“Actually, I do,” Caitlin said faintly. She’d had the same dreams of wanderlust after finishing the book. Maybe I could travel before college, she’d thought.
But when she’d voiced the idea to Josh, he’d looked at her crazily. “What about All-Stars?” he’d asked her. “And they’re going to need you in July at UDub for training.”
Lake Washington opened up before them, steel blue and sparkling. Jeremy drove them down a quiet path into the Kikisoblu Bay Park, which met the water in a jagged, rocky beach. Caitlin loved going this way to practice. It took a little longer, but it was so beautiful. She wished, suddenly, that she could do this all day: drift down the road on the back of this scooter, her hair flowing behind her, the wind whipping through her, the sounds rushing past her so loudly that she didn’t have time to think about any of her troubles. And, oh yeah, her arms wrapped tightly around a boy, his body pressed close to hers, too, keeping her safe from falling off.
Jeremy spoke as they slowed down. “Do you happen to remember me freshman year?”
She snorted. “Um, of course I do.”
“I was a skinny little nerd back then. Taking three junior-level AP classes, doing debate and Model UN. You know, all the stuff skinny little nerds do. But we were in study hall together. You and me.”
Caitlin squinted. “Yeah,” she said slowly. “I remember that.”
“And this one time, you lent me your pen because I didn’t have one. And when I looked at it, I was astonished—it was a Dungeons and Dragons pen. The coolest thing I’d ever seen.”
Caitlin laughed. “It was probably Taylor’s.”
“Yeah, but you’d been using it before you gave it to me,” Jeremy pointed out. “It didn’t even occur to you that it was, I don’t know, weird.”
Caitlin shrugged. “Okay.”
“I just . . . remember that about you,” Jeremy said. “I liked that. You were different. I mean, good at soccer for sure, but you had depth, too.”
Caitlin thought about this for a while. She tried to fight against the compliment, but it was a nice thing to say about someone. Had Josh ever talked about her being deep or different? Surely, right? Only, she couldn’t think of an instance.
“Thanks,” she said, smiling.
Jeremy pulled into the school and hit the brakes for a moment. He glanced back and grinned at her. “You know, it’s good to see you smiling. You’ve had this tough-girl attitude since Taylor died,” he said gently. Then he moved even closer.
Almost like he was going to kiss her.
Caitlin told herself to move, but her limbs didn’t cooperate. She just stared into Jeremy’s large, inquisitive eyes, wondering what might happen next.
“There you are!”
Caitlin’s head whipped around.
Vanessa, her red hair glinting in the sunlight, rushed toward them across the parking lot, her cleats clacking on the pavement. “Coach Leah was just about to send out a search party!” Then she looked at who Caitlin was riding with and did a double take. “Oh, hey, Jeremy.”
“Sorry. Just some car trouble.” Caitlin hopped off the Vespa, her cheeks flaming. She felt guilty, as if she’d somehow done something wrong.