“Did Julie seem upset by what Ashley was doing to her?” Dr. Rose asked.
Something in Caitlin broke loose. “Of course she did,” she blurted. “Anyone would be. Ashley was so, so mean—and Julie had done nothing to deserve it. Julie’s a good person. She would never hurt anybody, not even a bully.”
“There was a situation in your life where someone you loved was bullied, right?”
Caitlin froze. “Well, yes,” she said in a muffled voice. “My brother, Taylor. Nolan Hotchkiss picked on him. And then he killed himself.”
“So you’re a little sensitive about bullies, aren’t you?”
She shrugged. “I guess.”
Dr. Rose wrote something on her notepad. Caitlin wished she could see what it was. Did it say Caitlin had extra motive to hurt Nolan?
“I didn’t do anything,” she said suddenly.
“I’m not saying you did,” Dr. Rose replied pleasantly.
Afterward, in her car, Caitlin almost ran two red lights and crashed into an oncoming school bus, she was so distracted. It was so hard to read what Dr. Rose had thought of her. Did she suspect Caitlin now? Did she suspect Julie? Or was she just good at asking annoying questions?
She drove without knowing where she was going, finding herself at Jeremy’s house even though she hadn’t called to say she was coming. She stopped at the curb, grabbed her keys, and let herself in—something she’d been doing for years. This was the first time she’d done it for Jeremy, though, not Josh, and that felt a little weird.
She found Jeremy in the den, watching a black-and-white zombie movie that she vaguely remembered Taylor watching once. The memory made her smile a little. “Hey,” she said quietly.
Jeremy didn’t look up. “Hey.”
Caitlin’s stomach swooped. She needed him now. Badly. She walked over and sat next to him, trying to lean into his side, but his shoulder was stiff. Finally he put a hand on her knee, gave it a squeeze, then took it off again. At least it was something . . . but it wasn’t enough.
“How was your day?” she asked, turning to look at him. But he kept his eyes on the screen, where a zombie was tearing into a cow.
“Pretty good.”
No question about how her day was. No details about the zombie movie they were watching. No comment even about the freaking weather—she’d take anything at this point.
“So you’re still mad at me?” she finally asked.
Jeremy looked down at the floor for a moment. “I’m trying. I really am. It might just take me a little while longer to get past it.”
“Okay.” At least he was being honest about his feelings. She took his hand. “Well, will you let me know when you’re totally past it so we can make out again?”
Jeremy couldn’t help but chuckle. “Okay.”
Before Caitlin could say anything else, she heard an awkward clomping and shuffling sound, and Josh appeared in the doorway. His face was red from exertion, and he leaned heavily on his crutches. His left foot and lower leg were completely swallowed up by an enormous cast. Only his toes peeked out. When he saw Caitlin and Jeremy, his face clouded a little. Caitlin felt Jeremy’s body tense up next to her on the couch.
Caitlin dropped Jeremy’s hand and shifted forward. “That thing’s massive,” she said, pointing at the cast. She couldn’t just pretend Josh wasn’t here.
“Yeah.” Josh started clomping toward the laundry room.
“How bad is your break?” she asked.
He paused in front of the TV. “Pretty bad. I may not be able to start next year.”
Caitlin widened her eyes. “Holy crap. I’m sorry.” Once again, she couldn’t help but think it had been her fault.
Josh just shrugged. “I mean, what can I do? I’ll hit physical therapy hard. I’ll try my best, but if I can’t start, I can’t start. The UDub coach has promised I’ll still have the scholarship.”
Caitlin was stunned by his calm demeanor. She would have guessed Josh would be a hostile mess. If he was in a bad mood, he usually went outside and kicked the ball around for a while. He never seemed as relaxed or happy as he did after a long practice. But here he was, totally sidelined—with even his college career in jeopardy—and he seemed . . . okay.
“Uh, can you move?” Jeremy broke the silence. “I can’t see.”
Josh looked at his brother for a beat, then shrugged and passed by, making his slow, painful progress across the room again. Caitlin watched him recede, noting that he hadn’t said anything nasty to Jeremy about his choice in movies, or made Caitlin feel awkward at all for being here with his brother. When had Josh become so mature? Had breaking up with her done that?