And then she was out the door and halfway to her own car. To her horror, tears were streaming down her face and mixing with the raindrops that had started to fall. What was wrong with her? Was it because she’d made Claire leave? Was it because she’d dragged an innocent guy into her stupid little game? Was it because she felt as heartless as Claire?
When she reached her own car, she plunged her hand into the glove compartment, desperate for a Kleenex. Only, her fingers brushed against something else. It was a white envelope—the card Blake had left with her gummy-worm cupcake.
She climbed into her car, locked the door, and tore it open. On the front of the card was a picture of a giraffe wearing sunglasses, which, despite her tears, made Mac smile. She was a sucker for dorky cards featuring dressed-up animals, and Blake knew it. When she opened it, Blake’s crabbed handwriting covered the page.
Dear Macks, it said. You probably hate me forever. And I understand—if I were you, I’d hate me forever, too. I made a really stupid decision. I never should have listened to Claire. I should have known she was being devious and deceptive from the start. I should have been honest with you, and a stronger person, and because I wasn’t, I’ve probably lost you for good. The only thing I have left is our awesome memories together. You left a tube of ChapStick at my house last time you were here, and this probably makes me a weirdo, but I carry it around in my guitar case, sort of like a good-luck memento.
I miss you. I love you. I would do anything to get you back. Just name it.
Blake
Tears streamed down Mac’s cheeks. And all at once, she knew—this was why she felt so empty kissing Oliver. He was a good guy, and he probably would make a good boyfriend . . . but he wasn’t the person she wanted, the person she couldn’t allow herself to have.
He wasn’t Blake.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SATURDAY EVENING AT SIX, CAITLIN pulled on a dark gray dress that showed off her soccer-toned legs, slipped into her favorite red ballet flats, and did a full 360 in front of her mirror so that her short black hair fluttered. She wasn’t the type to dress up, but tonight called for it. She looked perfect. She hoped she was dressed appropriately for wherever they were going, but Jeremy wasn’t saying a word—which, Caitlin had to admit, was part of the fun.
Caitlin loved surprises, which Jeremy just seemed to know; she couldn’t remember ever telling him. She also couldn’t remember Josh ever surprising her with anything, except for the soccer-turf necklace he’d given her right before they broke up. And it had been such an awkward surprise: He’d given it to her right in front of their families, and it had come in this velvet ring box, so it had looked like he was proposing.
Caitlin quickly touched up her lip gloss and was about to head downstairs when her cell phone chirped in her cross-body purse. It was probably Jeremy, calling to tease her with a clue about tonight’s date. He’d done so all day, though he’d only said things like “you’ll scream when I tell you” . . . which could mean anything. Did he mean scream literally—like it would be scary but also romantic? Maybe he planned a candlelit whale-watching cruise on the Pacific—Caitlin had a love-hate relationship with whales. Or maybe he wanted to do a horror-movie marathon under the stars—she’d huddle next to him all night. “Hey,” she giggled into the phone, without looking at the caller ID.
“Where are you?”
“Ursula?” Why was Ursula Winters calling her?
“Uh, we’re waiting for you,” came Ursula’s clipped reply. Then she snorted. “Oh my god, you totally forgot. She forgot,” Caitlin heard her call into the background, followed by a series of groans.
“Forgot what?” Caitlin asked.
Ursula sighed, as if she’d been expecting this. “The new recruit initiation is tonight, Caitlin. It’s always the Saturday after tryouts. Didn’t Coach Leah tell you on the phone?”
Caitlin flushed hot, then cold, panicking. Had Coach Leah mentioned it? She’d been so excited she hadn’t really listened to the coach’s spiel. But Caitlin had been a member of the team for almost four years. She knew the drill.
She stared at her reflection in the mirror, ready to tell Ursula she had plans. But the words died in her mouth. This was the most important bonding event for the soccer team, and she’d be a shitty captain if she didn’t go. She had no choice—she had to be there. She would just have to reschedule with Jeremy. He would understand.
She told Ursula she’d be there in twenty, then immediately dialed Jeremy’s number. He answered on the first ring. “I’m on my way now, Miss Impatient.” There was laughter in his voice. “You getting excited to see what awaits you tonight?”