It turned out that Bruce was a certified exotic animal trainer, a prerequisite to working on an Animal Network show a few years back.
Obviously, Randolph had been the intended victim of the snake. It was just my luck to wander into his room. Derek cornered Walter and asked him if he’d sent the text to Randy. He denied it and then couldn’t find his phone. Someone—Randy’s stalker, no doubt—had taken it. One of the prop guys found it a while later, tucked behind one of the boxes of doughnuts on the catering table.
I was shaken and still breathing heavily, but I needed to tape my segment. Derek suggested that I ask to postpone it, but I wanted to get it over with. And I was pretty sure it would take my mind off killer snakes and broken Bibles.
Derek picked up the heavy Bible and took care of wiping the bits of snake blood and guts off the book. I couldn’t watch. I was too busy wondering what excuse I would give the book’s owner for breaking and bloodying a holy book that had managed to survive in this world for almost five hundred years—until the moment I got hold of it.
? ? ?
“How did you come to own this Bible, Jack?” I asked casually. Nobody would ever know I’d just been threatened by a rattlesnake.
“I recently inherited it from my grandfather, who was a biblical scholar. It’s my understanding that he never had it appraised because he thought that would be blasphemous.”
“Rendering unto Caesar?” I said, trying for a bit of levity.
He grinned. “Exactly. Grandfather was not known for breaking the rules.”
I slipped into appraiser mode to describe the woodcuts on the title page and in the text throughout the book, many of which were printed in red ink. It was a quarto edition, which meant that the pages were sewn together four at a time. Without moving the book too much and giving away the fact that the back cover was hanging by one hinge, I pointed out that the dark brown leather cover was framed and paneled in heavy gilt with raised bands on the spine and gilded lettering.
“The most unusual aspect of the cover, and typical of Bibles of that age,” I said, “are these brass corner protectors. The hinges of the book are brass, too. The engravings on this brass clasp and closure are spectacular. And they still work.”
“I’ve tried to keep my kids from playing with the clasp,” Jack said. “I’d like it to last another five hundred years, if possible.”
“That would be nice.” I smiled and added, “There are very few cracks in the leather. He really kept it in great condition.”
“He loved that book,” Jack said with a sad smile. “I’m not very religious myself, but I could tell it was worth a little something.”
“Oh, it is,” I said enigmatically. “The paper is thick and bright, with hardly any tearing. There’s a bit of foxing, but that’s to be expected. It’s still easy to read.”
“I can’t believe something that old is printed in English,” he said. “I figured it would be old German or something.”
“It was the first English Bible printed after the Reformation,” I explained. “The reason it’s called a Geneva Bible is because it was first printed in Geneva, Switzerland. It was meant to be affordable so that a family could purchase it and study it together.” I lifted the book carefully and opened it to a representative page. “As you can see, there are margin notes, which were meant to aid in the study of the Scriptures.”
“Wow.”
“So all of that means that it’s a very important book historically. And visually, as well. You can see that it’s exceptional.”
“I can see that it’s huge,” Jack said with a grin.
“And very heavy.” Thank goodness, I added silently. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to almost kill a freaking five-foot-long rattlesnake with it. “By the way, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Jack, but the back cover has come loose from its hinges. It’s a simple fix and I’ll be happy to take care of it for you after the program.”
“Really? That’s great. I didn’t know you did that here.”
“This is a special case, and there’s no charge,” I added with a bright smile. Because I’m the one who smashed it against the head of the snake and damaged it all to hell. No guilt there.
“Well, thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “Thanks for bringing it in today. It’s an exceptional book and easily worth my appraisal price of forty-eight thousand dollars.”
His mouth opened and closed a few times. “W-what?”
“Forty-eight thousand—”
“D-dollars? Holy moly.” He tried to swallow a few times but couldn’t, and he looked like he was struggling for air. A stagehand rushed over with his own cup of water and handed it to Jack, who gulped it down. He wheezed a few times and coughed.
This was getting to be a regular occurrence.
“Are you going to be all right?” I asked finally.
“Holy moly.” He buried his face in his hands for a moment, then lifted his head. “Damn, Grandpa, what were you thinking?”