Guru Bob didn’t respond right away. He was an expert at keeping his emotions in check, but the subject of Amelia and Trudy’s assailant was testing his resolve. Finally he said, “It is such a blessing to have you and Derek staying in Dharma. Rest assured that he has already contacted his office to arrange a security detail and his people were quick to install a guard outside her hospital room.”
“That’s good.” I gritted my teeth and confessed what I’d been considering for the last few hours. “I should probably move back to the city.”
“Because you feel you have brought death to Dharma.”
It was weird to be reminded that Guru Bob always seemed to know exactly what was going on in my head. Could he read my thoughts? Probably not, but he seemed to possess an uncanny empathic ability that most people lacked. Whatever his strengths, he blew my mind on a regular basis.
“We’ve talked about it before,” I said, referring to my disconcerting habit of finding dead people. “But this time it’s hitting too close to home. I don’t want anyone else to be hurt. I feel awful about Amelia.”
“And you blame yourself,” he concluded.
“Well, yes.” Did I? It sounded dumb to say it out loud. “Okay, I don’t actually blame myself, but what the heck? I show up and somebody dies! It’s creepy. If I were you or someone else, I would think twice about inviting me to dinner, if you know what I mean.”
His smile broadened, lightening my mood despite my worries. “I used to get more sympathy from you,” I grumbled.
He laughed, a deep melodic sound that was like music. “You know I have complete sympathy and concern for your feelings in this matter. I also am aware of your role in Amelia’s life.”
I sighed. “I didn’t mean to be so antagonistic toward her, if that’s what you mean. But she always seemed so annoyed to see me. I guess I let it get to me.”
He sobered. “I misspoke. Let me rephrase my statement. I am aware of your role in Amelia’s death.”
“What?” It took me a few long moments to figure out what he was talking about, and I was afraid my face fell when I finally did. “Are you talking about that whole Nemesis thing?”
Nemesis was the name of an Agatha Christie novel in which Miss Marple received a letter from a man who’d recently died, in which he beseeched her to investigate the death of his son’s fiancée. Guru Bob thought that, like Miss Marple, my destiny might somehow be wrapped up in seeking vengeance and justice for the dead who could no longer speak for themselves.
It was a little crazy, but how else could I explain my proclivity for finding dead bodies with such alarming regularity?
“Yes, gracious. I know that in your heart, you realize this, but let me make it extra clear: you are not to blame for Amelia’s death. That blame goes directly to the person who killed her in cold blood.”
“I know, but come on.” I flailed my arms for emphasis. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird that I show up in Dharma and within days, there’s a dead body? And then another one? What am I doing here? How will it end?”
“I cannot say how it will end,” he admitted. “But I repeat, those deaths have nothing to do with your being here.”
“But—”
“Whether you were here or not, we would have opened the cave and found the body. I think that Amelia was killed because of that discovery. In other words, it would have happened anyway.” He held up his hand to stop me from interrupting again. “Your reason for being here is clear. You are not the harbinger of doom, gracious. You are the bringer of justice. You will find that justice for Amelia. You will solve the puzzle of Monsieur Renaud’s death. And you will do all of this because you simply cannot help yourself.”
“I can’t help myself.” I thought about it and shook my head. “That makes me sound pitiful. And even a little ruthless.”
“Not one bit,” Guru Bob said with a tenacity I appreciated but didn’t quite believe. “The last time we spoke of such things, you told me that each time you have been confronted with violent death, you’ve focused your mind on the loved ones left behind. Their pain. Their ruined lives. That is your motivation; that is your purpose in delving so deeply into the mysteries of why such a thing happened and who caused it. And that is neither ruthless nor pitiable. It is a most admirable trait.”
Admirable? Sometimes I wondered, but I had to admit it felt good to know Robson’s thoughts on all of this. “But the police . . .”
“You have never hindered a police investigation.”
“I’ve tried not to,” I said, grinning sheepishly. “But the police might disagree.”
His smile was serene. “They are wrong.”
Who was I to argue with a highly evolved conscious being? Especially one who was trying his best to cajole me out of my one-woman pity party? “Thank you.”
“You are welcome.” He bowed his head slightly. “Perhaps you will grant me a favor or two?”
I sat up a little straighter on the couch. “Of course, Robson. Anything.”
His eyes narrowed. “Stay in Dharma. Recuperate from this attack. Then work with Derek to track down the assailant who has brought this terrible evil to our community.”
“Derek wouldn’t want to hear you saying that.”