She turned away so she was lying on her side, facing away from him. He cupped her body with his, solid and warm and so comforting she could feel all the fears and uncertainties draining away. He draped his arm over her in a protective gesture. But a new tension that was just as disconcerting rose in her body. Awareness crept over her. Her nerve endings sizzled where his body touched hers.
He shifted closer. Even though the movement wasn’t sexual, she could feel her body responding to his closeness. Her breasts felt heavy and full. She felt a quivery sensation, need she didn’t want to feel nipping at her.
Jake was only the second man she’d ever been with, and the experience had been breathtaking and intense, and Leigh had fallen hard and fast in love with him. She’d been just naive enough to believe he felt the same for her.
“You’re still shaking,” he whispered.
Leigh closed her eyes. “I’m still cold.”
“I don’t think that’s why you’re shaking.” When she didn’t answer, he put his hand on her shoulder and rolled her over so that they were lying face-to-face. “We need to talk about what happened last time,” he said.
His eyes were dark in the firelight. But even in the semidarkness she could see the intensity burning there. My God, she thought, how could any woman not fall for this man?
“I’m sorry you got hurt,” he said. “I know you think I used you, but I didn’t.”
“You got what you wanted.” But she’d been so hurt that all she’d wanted to do was get away from Jake and the pain he’d caused her. She’d gone to his superiors with his plan, and they’d carried it out. Used her as a pawn.
And she’d paid a terrible price.
FOR SIX YEARS Jake had wondered what she’d had to do to get Rasmussen to confess on tape. His superiors at the MIDNIGHT Agency had sent her back to Rasmussen. She’d worn a wire into his North Michigan Avenue penthouse. And then she’d proceeded to glean information from him about a shipment of arms designated for delivery to a terrorist group. Because of Leigh, the MIDNIGHT Agency had been there waiting when Rasmussen and his men delivered the arms.
Jake’s direct superior, Sean Cutter, had barred Jake from listening to the tapes that had been made of her encounter with Rasmussen, claiming he was too personally involved. But Jake had always suspected she’d had to sell a piece of her soul to save herself. The not knowing had eaten him alive for six unbearable years.
“That isn’t the way it happened, Leigh. I don’t use the people I care about.”
“That’s the way it felt.”
Wanting her to believe him, hating the mistrust in her eyes, he set his hands on either side of her face. “You and I were together. Right or wrong, it happened. I don’t sleep with someone with an agenda in mind. I sure as hell don’t share them with a damn killer.”
He could see tiny pinpoints of light in her eyes from the fire. She was so lovely. He hated that she thought he was capable of using her in such a terrible way. That she thought so little of him.
“Leigh, you’ve got to believe me. I never would have used you that way. I would have let Rasmussen go before I’d put you at risk like that.”
“You put me in a terrible situation.”
The need to pull her into his arms and crush her against him was overwhelming, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. Not when she believed he was capable of using her, putting her in harm’s way.
“I didn’t. Damn it, I would have found another way.” The memory of the dark days after she’d gone into the Witness Security Program came back to him. “My superiors had no right to let you do it. If Rasmussen had figured out what you were doing, he would have killed you. When I found out what happened, I let them know what I thought about using a civilian the way they used you.” The memory made him grimace. “I was disciplined and nearly lost my job. I wasn’t scoring many points with the agency, and I think that was the beginning of the end of my career.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you. Because of me.”
“Because of Rasmussen. Not you.”
“It looks like both of us paid a price.”
For the first time, she looked at him as if she thought he might be telling the truth. As if she wanted to believe him. Forgive him.
It was all he needed. Jake’s restraint broke with an audible snap. He pulled her against him. A groan escaped him when the softness of her body conformed to his. He’d been aroused off and on all evening, ever since seeing her in the tub. But now, holding her tightly, feeling her warmth, smelling the sweet scent of her skin, every nerve in his body jumped to attention.
A gasp escaped her when he shoved his hands through her hair. He marveled at the silky texture of it beneath his fingers. He could hear her breathing hard and knew she was every bit as affected as he was. He swore the room temperature went up fifty degrees.