Fuck, she was still really high. The drugs they were giving her messed with the language center of her brain. She’d developed a sort of verbal dyslexia, and couldn’t make the words come out in the proper order, even though she was thinking them clearly. Green. Green, not gray.
Where was she? Oh, that’s right. She rolled over and looked at her wrist again. She needed to get a tattoo on that scar. She wondered if they could actually draw the line down the scar itself, or if they could anchor it, the white streak surrounded on either side with black, a bit of living chiaroscuro to make the right impact. Oooh, that would be pretty.
She just wanted to go home. Home to the emptiness that was her life. Home to the small, shabby house on West Linden she’d made sure wasn’t homey in the least. Home to Winston, one of the only things from During she could stand to have around. It wasn’t the dog’s fault Josh was dead.
Josh was dead.
Aubrey had gone on quite the bender when the trial was over. It was interesting; she didn’t have the claustrophobia in jail, where they were constantly telling her what to do. Maybe because they weren’t kind. They weren’t well-meaning. They didn’t stare at her with sad eyes and ask how she was feeling about that.
“Rob hates you, Aubrey. He thinks your curly hair is a harbinger of death on the wings of flesh-coated Buick hoods. How does that make you feel?”
“It makes me feel like Rob is a psycho fucktard who needs to be shot, or better medicated. Can I go now?”
That outburst got her into isolation, the place she’d really -wanted to be all along. No more of this pretending to be friends with the staff and listening to other patients’ crap. She could smoke alone, shit alone, eat alone, sleep alone.
It was a comparative heaven.
They finally released her, on a blustery January day, with the threat of snow in the sky. She had never been so happy in her life. Even without Josh, even with her memories, this—being in her own home, away from the crawling eyes of constant organization and management and analysis—this was bliss.
And Rob really was a psycho fucktard. When they let him out, he shot up a Sprint store. They should have listened to her.
CHAPTER 47
Aubrey
Today
Meghan and Aubrey assiduously avoided speaking about the photo, kept their focus on the adoption records. But the courthouse yielded nothing. Neither did an online search. Aubrey was getting frustrated, but Meghan just smiled.
“Relax, sugar. This stuff can take forever. Especially if Daisy didn’t want anyone to know about it. The odds of us finding information in the first place we look is slim to none, and Slim’s out of town. I think we need to expand our search.”
“To where?”
“Outlying counties. Let me make a couple of calls, see what we can dig up. I’m supposed to meet Daniel in fifteen minutes.”
“Can I come?” Aubrey asked. She wanted to hear exactly what Meghan was finding out. She understood that she would need all the information she could glean in order to . . .
To do what, exactly, Aubrey? Clear his name? Allow Josh to come back?
And the money, Aubrey, don’t forget the money.
It was Thursday. Chase was coming today, and the money that would change her life would be coming tomorrow.
She had a flash of Daisy lying incapacitated, and realized there would be no legal battle for the cash anytime soon. If Aubrey -wanted the money, she could take it. Disappear forever. Five million dollars was a lot of money for a girl like her. Think of the life you could lead.
She shook off the voice. That voice had always created issues for her. Real and imagined.
Meghan shook her head. “I don’t think you want to come. It’s going to be technical, no fun at all. How about I meet you later?”
Aubrey bristled at Meghan’s tone. “You don’t want me there?”
Meghan raised her hands, palms first. “Hey, chill. I’ll be honest with you. I don’t know what he’s going to say, and I didn’t know if you wanted to put yourself through that night again.”
“Sorry, Meghan. I’m just on edge is all.”
“I understand.”
“But I want to be there. I checked out of this so long ago. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair to Josh. If I can help discover what happened to him, maybe I can start moving on.”
Meghan pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Fine, you can come. Leave the car here, we can walk. We’re meeting for coffee at the Hermitage Hotel.”
“Nice. Hope he’s picking up the check.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
“Let me call Tom, give him an update on what we’ve found.”
Tom didn’t answer, though Aubrey wasn’t surprised. The ICU was very strict about where phones could be turned on. She left him a message, and they set off in silence.
Aubrey hated thinking about the night Josh went missing, but it was more important than ever that she focus on every little detail. Like Tyler’s revelation. Maybe there was even more that she’d missed. Anything could be the key.