Aubrey knows what sex is, what going down means, what * and dick and cunt and whore mean, and vaguely thinks these are words and actions that no ten-year-old should know so intimately.
But now, Josh Hamilton has handed her a small red heart cut out of construction paper with B My Valentine written in crooked letters with blue ink, and she can’t help but wonder if that means he wants to put his thing into her, or maybe he just wants her to take the piece of paper and smile and say yes, she’ll be his valentine. So that’s what she does. She smiles and says yes, and he smiles back, leans in, and kisses her forehead, then darts off.
She is bewildered, and suddenly the center of attention for all the girls in class.
Two approach, and Aubrey is reminded of the lions stalking a wildebeest in a television show on Animal Planet that Sandy made them watch with the volume turned up real loud last night while she entertained a guest. The nature shows are where Tyler and Latesha got the idea to couple in the first place. Sandy thought the kids were getting wholesome entertainment. How could there be anything bad on a channel focused solely on cute zoo animals? But instead of the gentle education Sandy was hoping for, they were exposed to sex and violence and gore and sadness.
Life.
The taller of the two, a girl with a wide forehead named Hilary, smiles disarmingly, then snatches the valentine from Aubrey’s hand and reads the inscription.
She turns to the smaller girl, Danielle, and says, “Oooh, looky here. It says ‘Josh loves Aubrey.’ ”
She begins to chant the words aloud, and Danielle joins in, the two becoming a miniature Indian circle, hooting and hollering and pointing, and others arrive from various areas around the room to join in, not knowing why they are dancing around little Aubrey Trenton, or why she has tears in her eyes, or why there are small torn bits of red construction paper near her feet, only that the gang leader has called and the gang leader must be answered.
Their teacher, Linda Pierce, sees the situation unfold and hustles over to stop it. Aubrey is forever being picked on. She is different. She no longer has parents. She lives with strangers. She is on scholarship. She comes to school, hair wild about her solemn and sad face, not speaking, not interacting with anyone but Josh Hamilton, who has set out to save the small, desolate little girl.
The crowd disperses, back to their own activities. They will be sat down for a conflict-resolution session shortly, so there is no chance of misunderstanding that what they’ve just done isn’t acceptable, and will do some role-playing exercises to find a different, healthier approach to acting out. Mrs. Pierce wipes Aubrey’s tears, helps her pick up the shredded valentine.
Aubrey wonders if Josh could be talked into making her another. But he is gone, back to his classroom, back to his perfect world, where parents are alive and mothers don’t have sex with strangers.
Mrs. Pierce hands her the Scotch tape, and together they piece the red thing back into being.
Aubrey hides in the coatroom and hugs it to her heart, plotting her revenge on the girls who tried to take his love away.
Dear Josh,
I saw Kevin and Janie’s boys today. They’ve moved to Pensacola. (I know, can you imagine the Sulmans out of the Outer Banks?) I never get to see them or the kids anymore. God, they are huge. And precocious, and funny. I can’t believe how much you’re missing. I can’t believe what I’m missing. I thought we’d have babies by now, curly-headed little girls I’d dress in frilly pink outfits and solemn--faced boys who wanted to play with trains and you’d share your music with.
I will admit it, I broke down. I don’t do that much anymore. But as I watched them playing in the yard, I lost it. Simply, cleanly, completely. Cried, and hid my tears behind my sunglasses. Parker came up with a beetle to show me and said, “Auntie, your nose is all red,” and I blamed it on sunburn.
It’s just not fair. Where are you? Why won’t you come home to me? Was it something I did? Did I make you unhappy? Was there anything that I could have done differently? I can’t help but feel that you ran away from me, that I drove you away. And for what?
I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Josh. You were everything to me, and I feel so incomplete. Like I am half a woman.
Come home, darling. I don’t want to live without you anymore. I can’t.
Always,
Aubrey
CHAPTER 27
Daisy
Today
Daisy heard snippets of language but couldn’t decipher them. She felt like she was asleep, underwater, locked inside a room that didn’t allow for air. She couldn’t breathe. Every part of her body hurt, and though she was afraid to move, afraid it would hurt more, the idea of lying still any longer made her claustrophobic. Eyes. Eyes had to open. Her eyes wouldn’t open.
She thrashed. Oh, dear God, she couldn’t breathe. She began to choke, to gag.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, she’s waking up.”