I nodded coolly. “I shall be there to see you off. In the meantime . . .” I turned to face Gage, deciding now was as good a time as any to test his compliance with Philip’s and my wishes. “I would like to pay a visit to William. Will you escort me?” The words tasted like dirt coming from my lips, but I managed to choke them out with what I thought was an admirable display of indifference.
I was sure Gage was aware of my displeasure anyway, but either because of Philip’s mitigating presence or his own decision to exercise restraint, he chose not to make an issue of it. His eyes flicked to my brother-in-law before returning to me. “Certainly.”
He offered his arm and I grudgingly accepted it, allowing him to steer me toward the staircase leading to the next floor. We were silent as we climbed the steps, both wrestling with our own thoughts. I knew that Gage didn’t want to consent to my seeing Will as much as I didn’t want him to accompany me. Neither of us was happy with this arrangement. At least we were in agreement on that.
I turned to him in question as he reached into his inside coat pocket and extracted a key.
“Dalmay gave me a copy of the key when Cromarty informed him of his . . . stipulation for your staying here,” he explained.
I frowned, wondering what exactly Philip had told Michael and Gage, but was glad I hadn’t been present for the conversation. I wasn’t certain I would have been able to hold on to my temper.
He hesitated at the door, and I looked up to find him studying me. He seemed to be weighing his words. “Kiera,” he began, “I never meant to . . .”
“Please,” I interrupted, holding up my hand. “Let’s not do this. Not now.” I was so tired of arguing. I didn’t want to have yet another quarrel with Gage. Especially not when my thoughts should have been focused on Will so I could prepare myself for whatever I was about to encounter.
I pressed my free hand to my temple and risked a glance at Gage’s face. A pucker across his brow told me he was not happy that I’d cut him off, but he turned back to the door without a word to insert the key into the lock. His shoulders were rigid with tension.
I could tell I had hurt his feelings in some way. Perhaps he had been about to make a peace offering, and I had silenced him before he could speak. But I couldn’t be certain, and in my present state of mind, I simply couldn’t risk the possibility of another disagreement.
The lock released with a twist of the key, and Gage pushed open the door on its well-oiled hinges.
“Did Michael even really need to give you a key?”
He looked down at me with a frown.
I nodded toward the keyhole. “You probably could have picked that lock with unsettling ease.” I tilted my head. “Unless the skills you bragged to me about at Gairloch were exaggerated.”
Gage arched a brow. “I never bragged. But, yes, I could undoubtedly pick this lock.” He ran his fingers over the metal.
I watched as he locked the door behind us, using the key. “I taught myself to pick the lock to my art studio door,” I told him, wondering why I felt the need to share this bit of information.
“Did you?” he replied with indifference.
I fought a frown. “It was more difficult than I expected, but I think I’ve mastered it now.” I was rather proud of the accomplishment, even though I wasn’t certain that said much for my character.
“You mean you’ve mastered the ability to pick that one type of lock,” he informed me. “There are many more.”
This time I did scowl at his insufferably pompous tone. “I know that. But it’s a beginning.”
At this proclamation, he finally looked down at me. He sighed in resignation. “I have no one to blame but myself, do I?”
I tilted my head in question.
“I should never have told you I could pick locks or shown you how easily it could be done.”
I only smirked.
We drew to a stop outside Will’s rooms and my anxiety returned. I wasn’t certain in what state we would find him. Michael had said that the episodes similar to what we witnessed the night before rarely happened now, but how did his brother behave in the meantime? Because Michael thought it necessary to keep him behind locked doors, I found it hard to believe he behaved like his normal self, and I was more than a little afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle whatever I saw without losing my composure. Fatigue always blunted my self-control, making it far too easy for me to lose my temper or, worse, the reins on my softer emotions, and the last thing I wanted to do was to break down in tears in front of Will. But I’d promised him I would visit him again, and I couldn’t be certain when I would have another chance. I didn’t want him to think I had lied, not for a second.
I pressed a hand to my hollow stomach. I had barely eaten anything at breakfast, too uneasy after our discussion in Michael’s study to eat more than a piece of dry toast and sip a cup of tea. I wondered if I would soon regret that.
Gage turned to look down at me, much as Michael had done the evening before. I summoned my courage and nodded with as much assurance as I could muster. He hesitated a moment longer before lifting his fist to knock.