Kate glares at Mary and raises her voice. “You insulted nice people. You insinuated that Americans are somehow better than them.”
“I pointed out that America’s generosity helped make Finland what it is today. I see nothing wrong with that.” Mary points at me. “You let your family insult me and my country. That was wrong.”
Now it’s my fault. Un-fucking-believable. I consider how much shit I should eat to maintain good relations and keep the peace. I think about Kate and the stress this is causing her, and the possibility of losing our child. I would eat all the shit Mary can dish out, but Kate took a stand. I have to back her up.
“I understand that your religious beliefs are important to you,” I say, “but Jari and Taina came here in the spirit of family and friendship. You sent a clear message that their culture and beliefs are inferior to your own. And whatever your beliefs, Taina shared an intimate and doubtless painful experience with you. You did it without speaking, but you made your feelings about it clear enough. No matter what you believe, surely you can see that some lines shouldn’t be crossed.”
She folds her hands, prayer-style, and looks at me. “Kari, I’ll be frank. I don’t care for your drinking or swearing, and I hate it that my sister lives halfway across the world from her home because of you.”
She stupefies me. I can’t deal with her, because I don’t understand her. “What’s the matter with Finland?” I ask.
“You live in a nation where homosexual relationships and abortion are sanctioned by the government. This country lives contrary to God’s law.”
“But abortions are legal in the States, too. And some states ratify same-sex relationships.”
“Those are missteps on the path to righteousness and soon to be corrected. The Finnish people, however, live in sin.”
I shake my head in disbelief. She reminds me of Legion.
John smacks the table with his hand, just like Kate does when she’s furious. I picture him learning it from her when they were kids. “Goddamn it, Mary,” he says, “leave Kari alone. He’s a good guy.”
John seems to have depths that belie his outward veneer. He keeps surprising me. “Kari,” he says, “I’m sorry, but fuck this. It’s time we all start telling the truth around here.”
He’s going to tell Kate the truth about himself. I’m terrified. “Don’t, John,” I say.
I watch Kate’s face, but can’t read it. She presses a thoughtful finger to pursed lips. The migraine screams that stress will make Kate miscarry and it will kill her. All because I couldn’t keep her goddamned idiot brother under control. My vision blurs. My ears ring. My heart thumps in my chest so hard it hurts.
Thank God, John takes my meaning and relents. He gets up, puts on his jacket and boots. “I’m leaving now. I’ve got a date. Kari, thank you for dinner and all you’ve done for me. Mary, while we’re here, at least try to pretend you’re a decent human being.”
A date? He takes the spare keys from the nail beside the door and walks out.
Kate, Mary and I look at each other for a few seconds. Without speaking, Mary goes to the spare bedroom and shuts the door.
Kate reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I’m dizzy,” I say. “Could you please get the bag with the medicine Jari prescribed for me, and a glass of water?”
She brings them and sits beside me. I drop a painkiller into the water and watch it dissolve, then decide what the hell, I’ll try shotgunning dope. I break a tranquilizer and a sleeping pill into chunks and put them in the glass. I have a little kossu left and dump it in, too. I drink the cocktail.
“Let me take you to bed,” Kate says.
We undress and get under the covers. Kate lays her head on me. I feel silent tears drip onto my shoulder. “I never would have dreamed my brother and sister would become who they are,” she says.
The dope kicks in fast. It’s hard to keep my eyes open. “I know. I’m sorry.”