Saber caught the two-inch pewter charm in his palm and squinted at it. I didn’t have to squint.
“A mermaid sitting on a treasure map?” Saber said. “That’s supposed to ward off evil?”
“Maybe it looks lame, but Pandora said Triton sent it with the message.”
“Triton, as in your old boyfriend? He’s back in town?”
“I don’t know where he is,” I admitted. “Triton is blocking our connection.”
I balled up the charm and chain in my palm to stick them in my shorts pocket, and startled when a strong, white noise buzz vibrated from the pewter. Interesting, and something I’d have to explore later. Like when Saber was asleep. Right now, I needed to deal with a boyfriend who, in spite of his cop look, I could swear was a little jealous.
“You still want to find Triton,” Saber said flatly.
“Well, yeah. I want to smack him upside the head. Repeatedly. With a sledgehammer.”
Saber cracked a smile. “I remember when you wanted to smack me every other minute.”
“And now I want to kiss you just as often. But only you.”
He took the hint and brushed his mouth over mine. The kiss was too short but satisfying.
“So, a mermaid and a treasure map. Do they have special significance to you or Triton?”
“To me, mermaids mean the ocean, and treasure maps mean pirates. I don’t know what they could mean to Triton.”
“Pandora didn’t give you a hint?”
“Nope. She only mentioned a great evil, betrayal, and treachery, and said she’d be watching out for me.”
He shifted to gaze across the yard where Maggie and Jo-Jo sat in deep and earnest conversation. “I suppose she didn’t say who you should beware.”
I sighed. “No, but she would’ve told me if Jo-Jo was the threat. Besides, he’s only dangerous to an innocent joke.”
“He’s that bad?”
“He’s worse. Come on, I can’t leave Maggie stranded any longer.”
Arms around each other, we reached the patio just as Maggie looked ready to implode.
“No, no, no. Don Rickles could do insult comedy. From you, it would scare people stupid.” She spotted Saber and me and twisted to face us. “Tell him I’m right, and take over, Cesca. I have to go to bed.”
“No problem, Maggie, thanks for helping.”
She started off, then paused. “What did Pandora say?”
With Jo-Jo there, instinct kept me mum about Triton. “Nothing critical. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
Maggie nodded and went into the house. I plopped into the love seat with Saber and eyed Jo-Jo.
“Maggie’s right, you know. You don’t want to copy another comic, especially someone famous. You need to be yourself. Have your own style.”
“But myself isn’t funny anymore,” he grumped, slumping in his chair, “and my style was built on my vaudeville act.”
“Can you adapt that act to stand-up?”
“The bits won’t work without Jemina or another partner,” he said, a sudden gleam in his eyes. I held up a hand. “No. I’ll do what I can to help you find an angle for your comedy act, but I’m not performing with you.”
“Then I’m doomed,” he intoned.
“You will be if you don’t stop moping. Being negative won’t get you anywhere, so let’s look at what’s possible. What kind of
comedy do you want to do?”
“The kind I’ll get paid for.”
I grinned. “Good start. We know you can juggle. You could use that in your act.”
“But not with knives,” Saber warned.
Jo-Jo winced. “Agreed, but is juggling hip enough for a twenty-first century crowd?”
“You won’t know until you try.” I tapped my chin. “You need to relate to both humans and vampires.”
Jo-Jo gave me a double take. “You think vampires would come to see my act?”
“I don’t see why not, but your audiences need to see themselves and their lives in your jokes. In normal stuff like working, family issues, paying taxes, aging.”
“Vampires don’t have old age issues, honey,” Saber said.
“What if we did? What if we had to have—” I thought of the Jag Queens and grinned. “—false teeth. What would we do?”
Jo-Jo looked blank, but Saber grinned.
“Vampire denture cream,” he drawled. “Available in mint, cinnamon, and O positive.”
“Perfect,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“Can I use that?” Jo-Jo asked eagerly.
Saber shrugged. “Sure.”
“Okay, let me try one.” Jo-Jo frowned in concentration. “Taxes. Vampires live long enough to pay more taxes than a small country, but it’s not enough to clear the national debt.”
“Rough, but you’re getting the idea.”
Jo-Jo looked cautiously hopeful. “Do you think this will give me enough material for a whole act?”
“I’m no expert,” Saber warned, “but you could throw in one more thing.”
“What?” Jo-Jo and I asked in unison.
“Poke fun at vampire lore.”
I grinned at my honey. “You mean myths like being repelled by garlic and not having reflections in mirrors?”