Her Last Breath: A Kate Burkholder Novel

I give her a moment to regain her composure, then ask, “Who is he?”

 

 

Her shoulders shake as she sobs uncontrollably into her hands. I wait, letting her hurt, resisting the urge to set my hand on her shoulder. All the while doubt and guilt poke a pointy finger at my back, laughing at me because I’m wrong about this. I’m wrong about her and I’ve destroyed one of my oldest friendships on a hunch I wasn’t sure about to begin with.

 

After a moment, she raises her gaze to mine. Her nose is red, her cheeks mottled and streaked with tears. “Please don’t tell,” she whispers. “Please, Katie, I couldn’t bear it if anyone knew.”

 

“Knew what?” I snap.

 

“Wayne Kuhns. He tried to … He wanted to…”

 

I know most of the Amish in and around Painters Mill, but that name isn’t familiar. “What did he do to you?”

 

“He didn’t do anything. But he … he wanted to … be with me. He tried to … you know, the way men do sometimes.”

 

Surprise is like the slash of claws across my face. I break a sweat beneath my uniform. I’m aware of my heart thrumming against my ribs. I stare, knowing I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am.

 

“Mattie, did he hurt you? Did he force you to do something you didn’t want to do?”

 

“No. I … pushed him away.”

 

“Did you have an affair with him?”

 

“No! Of course not. Katie, I’m married in the eyes of God. I would never forsake my vows. I wouldn’t do that to Paul or to myself.” Her mouth quivers. “I can’t believe you would think that about me. Now please, I just want to forget it ever happened.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” I choke out a laugh, incredulity ringing hard in my voice. “What were you arguing about?”

 

“He wanted to … be with me, and I told him it would never happen. He became upset and began shouting. It was upsetting and very uncomfortable.”

 

“Where was Paul?”

 

He was at his parents’ house up in Fredericktown. His mamm had just had a stroke.”

 

I nod, recalling that Paul’s mother recently passed. “What were you doing outside that time of night?”

 

“It wasn’t that late. Still light, in fact. I saw Wayne coming down the lane in his buggy.

 

“That’s not what I heard.”

 

“I don’t know where you’re getting your information, Katie, but I know exactly what time it was. I’d just put the children to bed.” Mattie cocks her head. “You’ve been talking to that Schlabach girl, haven’t you?”

 

“I’m not going to get into that with you.”

 

“I don’t want to speak ill of a child, especially a troubled child. But Sarah is known for telling tall tales.”

 

I say nothing.

 

“Sarah Schlabach makes up stories, just like her mamm used to. You remember how Martha was. She never liked me.” She looks down, presses her hand against her abdomen. “Sarah may have a sweet little face, but she’s a troubled child, Katie. In fact, she was mean to Norah once. They were playing and my sweet little girl came in with a black eye.”

 

That wasn’t my impression of the Schlabach girl, not even close, but I keep the thought to myself. The time discrepancy bothers me, but I can get to the bottom of that later. For now, I need to know about Wayne Kuhns.

 

“You need to tell me about Kuhns, Mattie. And I mean all of it. Right now.”

 

She looks down at her hands. “Let’s sit.” But I know she doesn’t want to risk the woman downstairs overhearing us.

 

I nod, and she takes me into her bedroom. Closing the door behind us, she motions toward a rocking chair at the window. She sits on the edge of the bed and puts her hands in her lap. “He started coming over about eight months ago.” She says the words so quietly I have to lean forward to hear. “At first it was innocent. The kind of thing a neighbor does. He would drop by on his way to the market and ask if we needed anything. Sometimes he would bring squash or eggs or bread. Once he helped Paul dig some postholes.”

 

She stops speaking and takes a moment to gather herself. “After a while, I knew it wasn’t innocent.” Shame seems to emanate from her pores, like greasy, nervous sweat. “I could tell by the way he looked at me. Nothing I could put my finger on. But his eyes were too bold. I knew it wasn’t right. I knew he wasn’t coming over to just to be a good neighbor.”

 

“He was coming to see you.”

 

“I think he was lonely and sad. I think he was having problems in his life. His faith.”

 

I stare at her, wondering how she could be so na?ve. “Did you tell Paul?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why not?”

 

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