We stayed in the mud threshold for a moment, his head just grazing the ceiling. I ran my fingers over the broken cover, considering what he’d said. Maybe here, in this dugout, away from Teacher and the lectures, the book would be different. Maybe I’d be different. I listened to our breaths, now in sync.
“This still doesn’t solve my swimming problem,” I said. I couldn’t keep from smiling as I met Caleb’s gaze.
“That’s the easy part.” He rested his hand on the wall, inches above my head. Short, blunt stubble spread out over his chin, glittering in the light of the lantern. “I can show you how to swim in a day.”
“One day?” I asked, wondering if he could hear the banging of my heart. “I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it,” he said. He leveled his pale green eyes at me again. We were in a contest to see who would look away first. One, I counted in my head. Two, three . . .
I broke, finally, ducking under his arm and into the tunnel. “Well then it’s a plan,” I said, starting back toward my room. When I spun around, his eyes were still locked on me. “Good night,” I called over my shoulder, feeling the warmth of his gaze as I walked down the dank, musty hall and settled back in my bed.
Chapter Sixteen
WHEN WE REACHED THE SHORE CALEB PEELED OFF HIS T-shirt and dove into the lake, his legs together, kicking just beneath its sparkling surface. He shot out into the deeper water until he disappeared under the inky black.
I waited. A minute passed. Then another. I scanned the wide expanse of blue but he was nowhere to be seen. “Caleb?” I called out. I took off down the shore, searching for any sign of him, but the lake was eerily still.
Finally he broke the surface, almost a hundred yards away, the water splashing white around his head. I let out a deep breath, gasping with him, as though I’d been holding my breath.
“Show off!” I yelled.
I dropped the pilled towel from my shoulders, revealing the “bathing suit” I’d put together to swim: a pair of jean shorts under my beaten School jumper—the fabric ripped where the crest used to be. I’d cut it off that morning with a knife, thinking of Pip.
I dipped my toes in and my pulse quickened. The water was cold. The sun was dropping below the trees, the air more biting than usual. I felt dizzy as I stared into the spot where the lake grew deeper and darker. I let the smooth stones massage the soles of my feet and tried to work up my nerves. I was feeling more comfortable, more confident, brave even. Arden had shown improvement; she remained in bed, but she was drinking more and eating more, and the color was returning to her face. I didn’t wince when I passed Leif in the corridor anymore, and I was no longer afraid to explore the camp. Slowly, surely, I was easing into our temporary home.
Caleb swam back, his muscular body turning side to side as each arm came up before plunging back into the deep. When he reached the shallow water, he threw his head back. “Now is as good a time as any,” he said, gesturing with one hand. “It’s not deep here.”
The water was only up to his waist. But I thought of that night at School, of the choking feeling as the ground slipped out from beneath me. I moved forward slowly, carefully, letting the cold lake cover me inch by inch. Caleb came forward and offered me his hand.
I took it without thinking, feeling the same heat I’d felt in his room. My skin buzzed from the closeness.
“See?” He smiled, as the water beaded on his tanned, freckled chest. “It’s not so bad.”
After a few steps the lake rose to my waist. I looked down, startled by the sudden disappearance of my feet. I wanted to go back, to return to the shore and stand on certain ground. But Caleb grabbed my other hand and stared at me, his pale green eyes demanding that I meet them. We walked together into the deep.
“Are you okay?” Caleb asked when the water was up to my shoulders. I nodded, waiting for my heart to slow. “All right then. Now we’ll dunk. One, two—”
“Wait!” I yelled. “You want me to go under?” I needed more time—to adjust to the temperature, to prepare.
“Yes. Let’s stay under for as long as you can. On three.” I was about to protest, but Caleb started the count again. “One, two, three,” he said, and I took in air, my lips pressing closed as we slipped below the surface.
I was completely submerged, my heart pounding in my ears. I could hear my lungs as they let out air, the bubbles floating up to the sky, leaving me below in the cool water. Caleb was two feet in front of me, eyes open, hands in mine. His face was so soft, so earnest and sweet that I forgot, if only for an instant, that we were different. That he was of the other sex, the one I had been warned about. The one I had spent my life fearing.