“Was she really better than you, or did she simply have different strengths?”
Brynna looked over Dr. Rother’s shoulder, staring out at the perfectly suburban scene beyond: a parked SUV, one of the thousands out there, gleaming in the sun; a woman dressed in head-to-toe Lululemon, pushing a jogging stroller; a random leaf rolling by as if on cue.
“It’s perfectly natural, Brynna. No one wants to speak ill of the dead—have you heard that expression before? ‘I don’t want to speak ill of the dead’?”
Brynna rolled her eyes and wished the clock would move faster. “Yes, I’ve heard it.”
“Well, people tend to go overboard in the opposite direction. Someone who died, especially if he died tragically or suddenly, becomes a great humanitarian. He’ll be eulogized as a loving husband and father, even if he was a cheat and a jerk.”
Brynna crossed her arms in front of her chest. “So what does this have to do with me and Erica?”
“Don’t you see? You’re doing the same thing with Erica.”
White-hot anger split through Brynna. “Erica was a great person. She was awesome.”
“I’m not saying that she wasn’t. All I’m saying is that even in her passing, you have to see her for who she was. She wasn’t better than you. Even if she got better grades or really was a better swimmer, it doesn’t mean that you deserved to die.”
“Neither did she!” Brynna was crying now, her hands fisted so tightly that she could feel her nails digging little half moons into her palms. “Erica didn’t deserve to die. She shouldn’t have died!”
“No, Brynna, she shouldn’t have. But it’s okay for you to wish that Erica was still alive without wishing that you were dead.”
Sure, Brynna thought, but what do you do if someone wants you dead?
???
“B. B? B! Brynna Marie!”
Brynna’s head snapped up so quickly she flicked ketchup onto her shirt.
Evan grinned and Lauren and Darcy looked away, lightly snickering. Teddy handed her a napkin.
“How’d you know my middle name was Marie?”
Evan shrugged. “Every girl’s middle name is Marie.”
Darcy and Lauren nodded their agreement. “Lauren Marie,” Darcy said, thumbing Lauren. “Darcy ANN Marie.”
“Teddy?” Evan asked.
“Actually, mine’s Andrew.”
“Anyway, welcome back from planet wherever-the-hell-you’ve-been. We’re making homecoming arrangements. You two in for a limo?”
Teddy said something to Evan while Brynna’s eyes wandered to the graying light outside the cafeteria windows. It was as if the moment Erica had been found, the dark and cold crept in and was holding on. The sky was spitting thick raindrops when she left Dr. Rother’s office that morning, and although it had cleared since then, the vile-looking clouds remained. Brynna shivered.
“Wow. She’s so excited about homecoming, she shivers.”
Brynna blinked, just in time to catch the hurt look in Teddy’s eyes. “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I am really excited about homecoming. Seriously.” She looked at the skeptical faces of her friends and let herself flit into the fantasy of dancing with Teddy under twinkle lights—even if they were going to be strung up from the basketball hoops in the gym. She pressed her palm into his and squeezed. “I am.”
He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling, sparking a sweet warmth low in Brynna’s belly. He brushed a kiss over her lips, light and feathery, and her heart skipped a beat that sent a delicious tremble throughout her. For the first time since she could remember, her body was reacting to something other than terror.
“This has all been lovely, but it’s time for class,” Lauren said, loudly piling her books on top of each other. She cut her eyes to Brynna, cool but not mean. “You coming?”
Brynna nodded quickly and pecked another kiss at Teddy then gathered her own books. Evan’s hand on her arm stopped her before she turned.
“Don’t tell the enemy anything,” he hissed with a serious look in his eyes.
Brynna glanced around the cafeteria, surprised. “Who’s the enemy,” she hissed back, “and what am I not supposed to say?”
Evan scooched forward. “It’s killing Lauren that she doesn’t know who I’m taking to the dance. I looooove torturing her. It’s killing her even more that you know and she doesn’t.”
Brynna’s mind raced. Did Evan tell me he had a date? “But I don’t know who you’re taking, do I?”