“What?”
“You heard me,” I said. “I . . . gave her to you. I let her walk the dog in the park. I let her out of my sight for too long. Let me guess—you went up to her in the park. You’d seen her walking there. And you went up to her and you asked her something about the fucking dog, right? Something inane and stupid. Maybe something that made her laugh or giggle . . . and you had her. You had what you wanted. And I didn’t.”
I stopped. My hands shook and were cold, so I rubbed them together.
“I really shouldn’t be talking to you,” he said. “For all I know, this could all be a setup. You could be wearing a wire.”
“I’m not,” I said. “I don’t care about any of that. I really don’t. I want to know why she came back to us. Why?”
He considered me. I thought I saw real concern, real pity in his eyes. He shrugged. “I don’t really care if you are wearing a wire, I guess. It wouldn’t stand up in court, and I don’t really plan on sticking around to see the judge.” He kicked at a pebble on the ground. “At the time, I thought Caitlin needed to go. That stuff showed up in the paper, that stuff Tracy was saying. The sketch of me. I thought about just hightailing it out of here, packing the car and starting over somewhere else. But I didn’t want to be on the run all the time. People wouldn’t understand the two of us. We could pass ourselves off as father and daughter for a while. Caitlin was getting older, too. I thought maybe she needed a better life than the one I could give her. It was just me and her. I couldn’t teach her about being a woman. Not everything anyway. I could always start over with a new girl, a younger one. Jasmine maybe.”
“Did Caitlin want to come back home?” Just asking the question made me feel weak, like I was a beggar. But I couldn’t not ask. I needed to know.
“No, she didn’t.”
Don’t send me away. Don’t send me away.
“How did you get her to go?”
“I told her I’d turn myself in. I’d call the police if she didn’t leave. I forced her hand. I remember that night . . .” He paused again and stared past me, off into the darkness. “You know what it’s like to have a parting of the ways with someone you love. There were tears. It almost broke my heart—it really did. Before she left, she swore to me she’d never tell what we did together. I guess she hasn’t, or you wouldn’t be here.”
“What happened between you?”
“Now that’s private, isn’t it?”
One corner of his mouth ticked up, and one eyebrow as well. It set me in motion. I charged forward, trying to bury my shoulder in his midsection and knock him to the ground. But he handled me expertly. I was quickly spun to the ground, his thick forearm locked around my neck. He didn’t apply full pressure to my throat. I could still breathe. But he applied enough to let me know he could do more if he wanted.
Buster came to the edge of the house and stopped. I heard his shoes against the driveway, but he remained in the dark.
“Easy now,” Colter said. I didn’t know if he’d meant it for me or Buster. He said it again. “Easy now, fella.” Colter was still on one knee. I saw Buster’s shape out of the corner of my eye. “Just stay there,” Colter said to Buster. “We’re calming down now, real easy like.”
“Let him go,” Buster said.
I tried to talk, but I couldn’t. I hoped Buster would stay back. I hoped he could see Colter held control of my airway. Apparently he did. He moved back a little, giving Colter some space. “You just go right on back where you were,” Colter said. “We have a few more things to talk about here.” He eased the pressure on my neck so I could speak.
“Go,” I said. “It’s fine.” My throat was raw, like I’d swallowed thumbtacks.
“You don’t look fine,” Buster said. “You look like you’re fucked-up.”
“Back off,” I said.
He did. He took slow steps backward until his form cleared the side of the building again. When he was gone, Colter released the pressure even more.
“Are you going to act right?” he asked.
I nodded like a fool.
He let go all the way and stood up. I fell to the ground, my face almost hitting the pavement. I reached for my throat and gulped air. It took a couple of minutes for me to feel right and push myself up. When I did, the night tilted a little like I might pass out. But I didn’t. My legs came back to me, and I cleared my throat, making sure I could speak.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Fuck you.”
“I showed you mercy,” he said. “I could have crushed your throat.”
“You’d never see Caitlin again.”
“I can see her anytime I want. I can snap my fingers and she’d be here.” To emphasize his point, he snapped his fingers in the air. “You can’t even deny it. I’m showing you mercy. I’ll let you say good-bye to her, before she comes with me.”