‘I just wanted to make sure.’
‘I want you to come back to Brooklyn,’ I said quickly. ‘I’m excited that you feel better. I hope that you didn’t misunderstand me, when we visited. I was just surprised, is all. We just haven’t talked that much, and—’
‘I know, Summer,’ he interrupted. ‘I appreciate what you’ve done for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.’
The sun broke through a cloud, sending splendorous light across the faces of the buildings across the water. I felt wonderful. He still cared about me. And he was coming home. He was better. The dogs would be ecstatic. They’d remember him immediately-they’d bowl him over and lick his face. We could go to the park and let them swim in the lake and buy each of them a hot dog from the cart.
I was about to tell him that I thought he’d been acting strangely, lately, and how I’d felt a little left out, maybe, a little excluded from his life, but it was okay now because he was coming back, because we would know everything about each other again. But then my father coughed. ‘Summer, I’ve met someone.’
The air conditioner kicked on, sending a cold blast down my back. ‘Pardon?’
‘I met someone.’ His words came out rushed. ‘Someone I think I’ve fallen in love with.’
There were a lot of people out on the Promenade. Two little girls in frilly dresses ran down the length of the walkway, scuffing up their shoes.
‘Her name’s Rosemary,’ my father galloped on. ‘I met her here. She’s an aide.’ He swallowed something noisily on the other end of the line. ‘She’s really helped me. She’s been an amazing friend. I wanted to tell you when you visited, but there wasn’t time. The movie ended sooner than I thought.’
I looked at my left hand. I had been pressing my nails into my palm so hard, there were four white half-moons in my skin.
‘I’m coming back to Brooklyn in two weeks,’ my father said. ‘I-we-decided today. I’ve asked her to come with me.’
I laughed. It just slipped out. ‘What, as your nurse?’
A stiff silence followed.
‘I’m sorry,’ I backpedaled. ‘I just…I don’t quite understand. This is all a little sudden. I mean, what, you couldn’t have met this person-she’s, what, an aide?-more than a month ago, right? That’s the last time we really talked. Don’t you think it’s a little soon?’
His voice was low. ‘Well, I met her almost a year ago.’
I went limp.
‘I didn’t want to say anything to you until I was certain. My new therapist, Walter? He thinks it’s wonderful. He really supports us, and thinks what we’re doing is perfectly healthy.’
‘Healthy?’
‘You’ll really like her. She’s very kind.’
‘Did I already meet her?’ I demanded. ‘Was she there at Christmas?’
He was quiet for a moment. ‘Yes, she was. She helped cook the dinner.’
I had spent so much time passing judgment on the patients-the anorexic girl who wouldn’t stop petting Wesley, the grandmotherly woman who worked a jigsaw puzzle of kittens in a basket. I thought they had been the ones to watch.
‘Okay,’ I said slowly. ‘Okay. Well, wow. Huh. I don’t exactly know what to say.’
‘How about that it’s great? How about that you’re happy for me?’
‘No, it is great. Really.’ I didn’t know how to word this. ‘You’ve been in the hospital, Dad. For a long time. I think…’
‘You think what? That because I’ve been here, I’ve…I’ve turned into a child? That I don’t understand relationships? That I’m not worthy of anyone loving me back?’
‘I didn’t mean that at all!’ Tears of surprise burned my eyes.
‘That’s what it sounds like. You assume these things about me, Summer, and I’ve lived with it long enough that maybe I assume them about myself. But I’m not that way. You don’t even know.’
It hurt, like a pickax driving into my side. ‘…What?’
‘This is my chance at being happy. I need a chance to grow, Summer. I had that here, and I don’t want it to end. I need a chance to live my life, and you need a chance to live yours. There’s enough room for all of us in that big apartment, don’t you think?’
The sentiment was so familiar. ‘I’m keeping you from living your life?’
He let out a frustrated breath. ‘I have to go. Someone else needs the phone.’