All the Things We Didn't Say

I breathed out, sharp and cold. ‘Do you have plans or something?’

 

 

‘No…I just…well, yes. I mean, I wish you would’ve told me,’ my father said, his eyes darting back and forth.

 

‘What’s the matter, Richard?’ Rosemary looked concerned.

 

‘It’s just…’ My father fiddled with his napkin. ‘Never mind. Sorry.’ He smiled tightly at us. A few seconds passed.

 

The waitress arrived and took our order. I got the risotto. Rosemary ordered vegetarian pasta, my father got duck, and Steven and Angie both ordered steak. I wondered if they were both doing Atkins together; they seemed like a couple who conquered things as a team. When they came to Cobalt to help sort through Stella’s house-I had been astounded when Steven showed up, and even more astounded when Steven seemed normal, friendly, calm, and with a girlfriend-they had Rosetta Stone tapes in their rental car, and at night, I heard German words filtering out from underneath the old bedroom door. I wanted to say that Angie was a good match for Steven, but I really didn’t know who Steven had become. So what if I neglected to tell him that I was bringing Philip today, or that he and I lived together in Annapolis? It’s not as if Steven and I ever talked.

 

‘So how are things going in Annapolis, guys?’ my father asked us.

 

‘Well,’ Philip said. ‘My job is great. We’re designing a new apartment high-rise in Eastport.’

 

‘And how about you, Summer?’ Rosemary smiled at me.

 

‘Oh, you know. Still at Chow’s. The cooking store.’

 

Everyone blinked.

 

‘We have our summer stock already,’ I continued, because it seemed like they were waiting for me to say something else. ‘Margarita blenders, champagne buckets, mini-grills. It’s so cold, I can hardly imagine summer right now.’

 

My father frowned. ‘Have you given any thought to going back to school?’

 

‘I’ve told her that, too,’ Philip interjected, way too excitedly. ‘Johns Hopkins isn’t far.’

 

‘I’m not going to get into Johns Hopkins,’ I hissed.

 

‘Isn’t the University of Maryland close, too?’ Rosemary suggested.

 

‘And there’s that job,’ Philip added.

 

I cut my eyes over to him. ‘I couldn’t get that job.’

 

‘You don’t know that.’

 

‘What job?’ Steven asked.

 

‘It’s nothing,’ I said, stomping on Philip’s foot.

 

‘It’s a research associate job,’ Philip said excitedly, ignoring me. ‘A friend of mine’s wife works at a biomedical institute near Baltimore. They help develop drugs and treatments by doing genetic research. I told him about Summer’s degree, and he said she should apply.’

 

‘That sounds wonderful.’ There was a frozen, hopeful smile on Rosemary’s face.

 

‘It’s working with fruit flies,’ I said limply. ‘It’s not that wonderful.’

 

‘So?’ my father said. ‘You worked with plenty of fruit flies in college.’

 

‘It’s…’ I shook my head. ‘I’m not going to get it, okay?’

 

I glowered at Philip. He tilted his head, lifted his shoulders to chin level.

 

The waitress gingerly set down our dinners, warning us that the plates were hot. My father smacked his lips and said mmm. I could feel Philip’s eyes still on me, but then Angie asked him a question about digital cameras, something else he knew a lot about. I let the warm, soothing risotto wash over me, trying to savor this moment-I was in Brooklyn, which I’d missed ever since I’d moved to Cobalt and then Annapolis. Only, the restaurant was dingy and small-I was practically sitting in the lap of the diner next to me. Outside, scattered trash and chicken bones lined the gutters. A cab honked its dissonant horn when an SUV paused too long when the traffic light turned green. I felt hypersensitive to the smells and noise, as if I’d never lived in the city at all.

 

Between dinner and dessert, Rosemary stood up and checked the vibrating phone on her hip. ‘Ugh, work,’ she groaned.

 

‘I’m going to get some air, too,’ my father said. And Philip slid back his chair, heading for the bathroom. Angie and Steven remained, draining their wine glasses. Steven flagged down the waitress and asked for another carafe of wine.

 

I watched Rosemary weaving around the tables for the door. ‘Don’t you think it’s strange that she has to check in with work?’ I mused aloud. ‘It’s just a plant store. And it’s not like she even owns the place. She’s just an employee.’

 

Angie twisted up her mouth. ‘I think she’s nice.’

 

‘I’m just saying it’s silly, is all.’

 

Steven simply didn’t react. I watched as he took Angie’s hand. It still astounded me, the tender way he touched her. I’d had no idea Steven had it in him.

 

Steven leaned forward. ‘Was Philip in your grade? I can’t place him.’

 

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