Nick’s head of disheveled black hair filled the window. “Josie,” he said. “I can explain.”
“Explain? Explain what?” Josie tottered backward across the uneven lawn, then forced her legs to work. She needed to get to the car. She needed to get out of there.
Josie rounded the front of the house just as the patio door creaked open.
“Josie!” Madison screamed. She was still buttoning up the cashmere sweater she’d worn to school that day. “Wait.”
Josie broke into a run, desperate to get to the Teal Monster.
Nick was faster. She could feel his runner’s stride pounding up behind her as she yanked open her car door. “Josie, stop!”
“Screw you.” Josie ducked inside and locked the door. Nick slammed his fist onto the driver’s-side window, but Josie didn’t even look at him. She couldn’t. She fumbled with the keys; her hand shook violently as she turned over the ignition and she could already feel the hot tears pouring down her cheeks.
Josie took one look as she peeled out of the driveway. Madison stood on the lawn with her hands covering her face. Nick was in the middle of the street, arms outstretched toward her retreating car.
He hadn’t even bothered to put on his shirt.
FIVE
5:45 P.M.
“IS THAT YOU, JOSEPHINE?”
Josie froze midtiptoe. Dammit. Her mom was supposed to be staying late at the lab like, you know, she mentioned on the phone not even two hours ago. And when her mom said she was staying late at work, she meant it like 99.99 percent of the time.
But no. Not today. Today of all days, her mom surprised her by coming home early.
Perfect.
Josie had driven around for almost an hour, trying to decide what to do. A variety of choices crossed her mind, everything from plunging her car into the Anacostia River, to driving back to Madison’s house to tell them both exactly what she thought of them, to several other options that would have gotten her thirty to life in a state penitentiary.
For the first half hour or so her phone had rung off the hook. First Nick, then Madison, then Nick again. Rinse, repeat.
Then the texts. First Madison, in a rapid, manic stream.
Madison: Josie, please just listen.
Madison: It’s not what you think.
Madison: I mean, it is, but it’s not like that.
Madison: Nick just needed someone to talk to.
Madison: And you’ve been so busy.
Madison: And things just happened. I didn’t mean them to. I swear.
Then Nick. His texts came more slowly, as if he labored over what to say.
Nick: I’m sorry.
Nick: I didn’t mean to hurt you. It just happened.
Nick: You’ve been so distant lately.
Nick: I know that’s no excuse.
Nick: I don’t know what else to say.
Josie had ignored them all. She didn’t want to talk to either of them. Especially not Nick. She didn’t want to hear him beg for forgiveness. Or worse, maybe he wouldn’t. Josie recalled the conversation they had after school. There’s something I need to talk to you about. Maybe this had been his way of breaking up with her?
“Josephine?” her mom repeated. Her voice was louder, and Josie could clearly hear her footsteps ascending from the basement.
She should have stayed in the car.
“Josephine!” Her mom stood in the doorway that led to the basement lab, still in her white coat, with the top half of her dark brown hair twirled up on the top of her head and secured with two ballpoint pens.
“Is everything okay?”
Josie opened her mouth to say something, but the words froze on her tongue.
“What?” her mom said.
Josie flinched. She wanted to tell her mom the truth—about Nick and Madison, about her job, and about the train. She wanted a squishy hug, to feel her mom’s long fingers comb through Josie’s hair and for her mom to tell her that everything was going to be okay. But there had been such a strain between them the last few months, a divide that neither of them seemed able to cross, and the last thing Josie needed at that moment was to be rejected by her own mother.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
Josie leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She felt suddenly dizzy; the cramped quarters of the hallway spun around her. She just wanted to crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head, and pray that when she woke up, she’d discover that she’d gunned the engine on her car and outrun the oncoming train.
Maybe then, none of this would have happened.
“Where’s the mirror?” her mom asked abruptly.
Right. The real reason her mom was even talking to her. “I left it in the garage.”
“Fine, fine,” she muttered more to herself than to Josie. “I’ll move it downstairs to the lab.” Then she cleared her throat and turned suddenly toward her bedroom door. “I have to go out tonight.”
Josie shook herself. “Oh.” Great. Was her mom dating now?
“Just back to the lab,” she said, as if reading Josie’s mind. “Running an experiment. Need to check in. You’ll be okay here?”