“Honey,” Mom said, stretching out her arm. “Stay…”
I nodded. “We’ll talk. I just need a minute, okay?”
The sun was soft on my arms as I strolled outside and sat down on one of the visitor benches. I didn’t know what to feel about Mom and Dad, now that I knew everything. The only thing I did know was that it hurt to be in the same room with them. How was I supposed to move past the fact that they had kept so much from me, for so many years? Where, along a road so thickly shrouded with trees, was I supposed to take the next step?
I leaned against the trunk of a tree and flipped open my phone.
“Julia!” Zoe said when she answered. “How are you? Why haven’t you called?”
“Zoe, listen. I need to ask you something really important.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
“It’s personal.”
“Okay.”
“And you can tell me to shove off if it’s none of my business.”
“Are you trying to annoy me?”
I swallowed. “Do you think your mom is still cheating on your dad?”
I bit my lip hard as the silence reverberated through the phone. The sound of birds chirping grated on my ears, and for a moment I felt the urge to pee.
“Yeah,” Zoe said finally. It came out as an exhale, a breath. “I do.”
“And…” I hesitated, stepping on my toe. “And do you love her anyway?”
Another pause. “Yeah,” Zoe’s voice trembled. “I wish I didn’t, because it would be easier, but she’s my mom, you know?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”
I stood in the same spot for a long time after hanging up with Zoe. I didn’t want to go back inside. Not yet. If I knew Sophie, she was probably telling Mom and Dad right now, right this minute, that she had finally told me everything. All of it. The real all of it. Who knew what would happen now? You either got through it, or you got stuck. We had moved through some of it. But there was a lot more to do. And I wasn’t sure about Mom and Dad, but I knew I didn’t want to get stuck.
Not again.
Not with so much ahead of me.
Maybe later, some night at dinner, we would be sitting around another table, talking and laughing, and wonder how we had gotten there from where we were now.
epilogue
The sound of feet came pattering down the hall just as I slipped on my dress.
“Aunt Julia!” Goober gasped. “Are you ready?”
I lifted her under her arms and swung her around as she screamed with joy. Her blond hair, cut in a pageboy style, floated like a little mushroom around her face, and the blue polka dots on her dress matched her eyes. “Almost! Are you?”
“Yes!” Goober shrieked. “Put me down!”
I obeyed. “I just need to fix my hair,” I said, picking up the brush from the bed.
Goober put her hands on her hips. Her shiny black patent leather shoes were planted firmly on the floor. “I don’t want you to leave,” she said suddenly. “I want you to stay in my room forever.”
I finished smoothing my hair into place and knelt down next to her. “I’ve been here all summer, Goobs. And now I have to go to school. But don’t worry. I’ll come back to visit on my breaks. And I’ll write you letters, okay? Would you like that?”
Goober nodded. “Yeah. I like letters. With pictures! Will you draw me pictures like the one you did in my room?”
I nodded. After Sophie and Goober had seen the finished mural on the kitchen wall, Sophie had offered to pay me to do one in Goober’s room. Goober—who was back for good—spent a long time telling me what she wanted me to paint. Finally, she settled on an underwater scene, complete with mermaids, dolphins, jellyfish, even a shark. It took me a lot longer to do the ocean wall than the kitchen wall, but when I was finished, I hadn’t felt that excited in a very long time. It was good. I knew it was good.
Goober threw her arms around me. “But I’ll miss you. Like to Pluto and back and around again to infinity miss you.”
I held her tight. Her hair smelled like soap and sunshine. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
Goober pulled out of my hug and grabbed my hand. “Mama needs help buttoning her dress.” She steered me down the hallway into Sophie’s bedroom. Sophie was sitting on the bed, fumbling awkwardly with the buttons in the back of her dress. Her walls had been painted a beautiful lemon color, and the curtains were pale and sheer, letting in a lake of light.
“Here,” I said, kneeling on the bed behind her. “Let me.”
“I’m so nervous,” she said. “I can’t do anything today.”
“Of course you’re nervous,” I said, finishing up the last few buttons. “You’re standing on the edge of a dream come true. You’ve worked your whole life for this moment. I’d be nervous too.” I leaned in over her shoulder. “Just don’t forget to enjoy it.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you, Jules.” She put her hand over mine.
I smiled. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to.”